WSO: IB Is Ruining My Love Life

[ - ]( Hey {NAME}, We need your help! We're conducting a quick survey about the working conditions in IB this year. We'd like to know how you feel about your hours, pay, and culture. The survey will only take < 5 minutes, and it's completely anonymous. Please [click here]() and share your insights with us. Let's see what WSO Monkeys have been chattin' about this week... TOP DISCUSSIONS 1) [Most Toxic Banks and Groups (2023 Update)?](=) - "Not a new topic but would be good to see where things are now. I was at sweet green the other day and overheard a couple Moelis analysts say "Moelis?…More like MoleASS!" Tells you a little something about the culture I think." 2) [UBS Layoffs]() - "Anyone can chime in and share the details? Size, Department, seniority? Scary time indeed." 3) [9 Tips from Top Dealmakers to Turn the Slowdown Around]() - "The market slowdown put everyone on the back foot. Despite current conditions, the future is still bright, but it favors the prepared. We interviewed 14 successful PE professionals about what it will take to position themselves for success. We broke their answers down into nine tips that will help you figure out the most effective ways to spend your time and how to prepare for what’s next." 4) [IB Ruining My Love/Sex Life](=) - "Lately, it's been coming on to me that I'm quite literally deprived of a woman's touch. Jokes aside, I literally have been going through the driest period of my life and feel like I'm back at all boys boarding school. Also feel like I'm loosing my touch..." BOOST YOUR TEAM’S PERFORMANCE [image]() Knowledge of the fundamentals of financial modeling and the tools required to do it effectively is critical in this industry. [The Wall Street Oasis Corporate Training Program](=) can give your team an edge. We have flexible delivery options, offering online, in-person, or a hybrid venue for world-class instruction from seasoned, talented instructors. Let’s work together to tailor an elite training program for your people to get them the knowledge they need in today’s demanding environment. [Find out more]( TOP DISCUSSIONS CONTINUED 5) [What to do if Your Associates/Analysts Suck](=) - "Telling your team they suck probably isn't the best way to help them perform better, but going full hand-holding is almost equally as offensive. Here are some ways to try to right the ship if your team is actively fumbling deals or making you work much harder than you should." 6) [WTF is Going on with MBA Associates???]() - "Seriously, this year's lot is the most maladjusted crop of society I think I've ever witnessed. Completely overbearing, unassuming, yet just the right amount of irritating. Not sure what they are teaching in Tuck, but it must have been a fun 45 min lecture for my Associate learning the comprehensive ins-and-outs of copy + paste formats from a non-target undergrad 23 y/o..." 7) [Best Broker Stories]() - "...Brokers are, by the very nature of their business, sleazy and untrustworthy. They take no risk, add no value, and have no fiduciary or legal duty to be honest. And so they aren't, or only by accident." 8) [Centerview Partners is Paradise]() - "You just finished your second year at Centerview. Your social life is deteriorating. As is your health- after telling yourself you're going to exercise every day once the fancy and expensive office gym was completed, you realize you'd rather be crucified after seeing your partner change naked in the locker room. Even worse, you check LinkedIn to see many of your peers at other banks have accepted buyside offers to invest at firms such as "Blackstone". How short sighted, you think to yourself. The third year at the bank really completes your learnings." 9) [Learn AI like it’s 2023]( - "It’s pretty clear that AI is going to eat the world. So ramping up on AI concepts is a good idea whoever you are. Luckily..." NEW PODCASTS COMING IN HOT [Episode 241: A Hedge Fund Investors Path. From JP Morgan to Morgan Stanley to a L/S Hedge Fund to a Start-up Fund]() - "In this episode, PJ shares his winding path from a JP Morgan internship during his time at Princeton, to working on two desks during his 5 years at Morgan Stanley to making a pivot to equities at a L/S hedge fund where he stayed for 7 years. Listen to hear how he started all over again and where he is now." [Listen on Apple Podcasts]( | [Stitcher]( | [Spotify](=) | [YouTube](=) [Episode 242: Meeting Mess Ups | Walkaway $ | Stock Market Update | Weekly Wrapup](=) - [Listen on Apple Podcasts]() | [Stitcher](=) | [Spotify]( | [YouTube]() POLL OF THE WEEK [image]( WSO ALPHA - LATEST UPDATES WSO Alpha's March brokerage report is now LIVE! We had a solid month up 4% ($50k)... See what we did [here](=). HOT JOBS [Financial Strategist (Remote)]( - "The Senior Financial Strategist will oversee the Firm's financial planning and analysis function. This includes developing and maintaining financial models and forecasts, managing budgets, analyzing financial and operational performance, providing insights and recommendations to the leadership team, and conducting financial analyses to support investment decisions." [Managing Director Investment Banking (Remote)]( - "The Managing Director position will work to build out the firm’s Capital Markets practice offering clients financing solutions, including initial and follow-on offerings, PIPEs, and private placements." [Investment Lead]( - "The firm is a first-of-its-kind brokerage for managing large stock positions. We make the financial instruments used by the ultra-wealthy to manage concentrated wealth available more broadly." [Senior Associate or VP - Investment Banking (Southwest, US)]() - "Be part of the execution of capital raise and M&A transactions, strategic advisory work, and valuations." [Investment Banking Associate, Tech (West Coast, US)]( - "This is an excellent opportunity for someone who enjoys technology and has two or more years of working as an investment banker with early-stage technology companies. Initially, the position will be split roughly 80/20 between analytical and client management requirements, although we would expect the client engagement management component to grow over time." [Equity Research Analyst (NY)]() - "The firm is a NY-based L/S hedge fund seeking to hire an Equity Research Analyst to support the firm's research and financial analysis of prospective investment opportunities. The Analyst will be reporting directly to the CIO and COO of the firm. The firm takes a value-oriented, fundamental approach to investing in publicly traded REITs and real estate-related companies, focusing on special situations and distressed investing. It has strategic backing from a multi-billion-dollar alternative asset manager." [Investment Banking Instructor (Remote)]( - "As an Investment Banking Instructor, you will have the opportunity to teach, advise, and inspire some of the brightest minds and future leaders in finance. In this role, you will serve as a lead facilitator for classroom training sessions and help students develop the skills and insights they need to excel in their careers." [Wall Street Oasis Finance Research Analyst Internship]( (Remote) - "We're looking for several interns to commit to 15hrs/week over 12 weeks (175 hours total). Perks include courses, WSO bootcamp, LinkedIn recommendations and more..." [Browse all jobs on The Talent Oasis]() @WALLSTREETOASIS TOP POST [image](=) ON DECK - TRAINING All in Eastern Standard Time - Apr 8, 10am - 2pm - [Excel Master Bootcamp](=)**** (Sold Out) - Apr 29-30, 10am - 5pm - [Financial Modeling & Valuation Bootcamp](=)** (Open Now) - May 20, 10am - 2pm - [Venture Capital Bootcamp](***** (Open Now) - May 27, 10am - 5pm - [Investment Banking Interview Bootcamp]()** (Open Now) - June 3, 10am - 5pm - [Financial Modeling & Valuation Bootcamp](=)** (Open Now) - June 24, 10am - 2pm - [Excel Master Bootcamp]()**** (Open Now) - July 15, 10am - 5pm - [Financial Modeling & Valuation Bootcamp]()** (Open Now) - July 15, 10am - 2pm - [Venture Capital Bootcamp](=)***** (Open Now) - July 29, 10am - 5pm - [Investment Banking Interview Bootcamp](** (Open Now) Stay Strong, Patrick Curtis CEO and Founder, [WallStreetOasis.com]() WSO Mobile App: [iOS]() | [Android]( PS - We're also always looking to add [resume reviewers]( and [WSO Mentors]( to our team. Set your own pay to increase or decrease mentee flow. To submit an application, go [here](). PPS - Think you have an interesting story? Want to share it with our podcast listeners? Hit reply and let me know! ** Financial Modeling & Valuation Bootcamp includes lifetime access to the [Elite Modeling Package](=) *** Investment Banking Interview Bootcamp includes lifetime access to the [IB Interview Course]( **** Excel Master Bootcamps include lifetime access to the [Excel Modeling Course]( ***** Venture Capital Bootcamps include lifetime access to the [Venture Course](=) [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [LinkedIn]( [YouTube]( [Instagram]( [image](=) Don't want the WSO Weekly Wrap Up? [UNSUBSCRIBE HERE]() [Unsubscribe]( from ALL WSO Emails IB Oasis Corp. (aka "Wall Street Oasis") 20705 Saint Charles St Saratoga, California 95070 United States