Lemonade Wisdom 🍋 Birthdays, a Five-Year Plan

(and goat soap) Hello Warrior Mommas – On September 24, I will turn 50 years old. Libra, reporting for duty. I’ve never felt very celebratory when it came to my birthdays of the past, but this one feels really, really big. On one hand, I feel like I’ve experienced more in 50 years than most people experience in a lifetime and on the other hand, I don’t feel mature enough to truly absorb a number that big. The only other time I’ve felt odd about aging was when I was 25, which seems quite silly looking back. But it really wasn’t. I was at a juncture in my life where I had spent a year in therapy and had made a vow not to date during that time. I spent a week alone on Catalina Island – my first solo trip and it was one of the best weeks of my life. I was committed to breaking cycles and leading an amazing life. Several months after that trip, I met a man who presented himself as Prince Charming and...you know the rest of the story. I find myself at another strange juncture; I have announced my 5-year commitment to advocacy and One Mom's Battle (OMB) but beyond that, I plan to start a completely new chapter. Fall of 2029 will mark 20 years of OMB – and my time here will close. It’s hard to believe- it feels like a lifetime ago when I first stepped foot into the family court system. My kids have been safe for many years but yours are not which is why I am still on the battlefield. The issues we face are still the same as the ones I faced in 2009, and, in many ways, things are worse because of the infiltration of the [alienation industry](. I do hold a lot of hope right now. We are seeing legislation pass that prioritizes child safety and the media has finally taken note of the family court crisis. Some days, I can barely keep up with the stories that are coming out. The groups we’ve created at OMB are powerful, it’s an army and when we mobilize, we are seeing movement and change. There are [multiple lawsuits]( underway and many more brewing. I am in the final stages of signing a contract for what could be a major documentary, and I have participated in several other documentaries that are in progress - mass exposure will lead to change. It’s not only time, its overdue and I’m here for it. If I were to retire from the world of family court advocacy today, I would feel beyond content. Not because the problems are solved because we have moved the needle very far. When I started, there were no resources and there were no survivor communities. It was dark, isolating, daunting and eerily quiet. Survivors no longer have to walk this journey alone and there is tremendous power in our collective experiences, wisdom and advocacy. We are no longer naïve, and we’ve taken off the rose colored glasses; we recognize this system for what it is. We’ve learned the importance of community and strategy. I want to assure you that I have no plans to ever close OMB – if you are anything like me, you don’t do well with the unknowns. Many of us have significant trauma from unknowns. I don’t know how the path will unfold but I am committed to ensuring that it remains a safe place for survivors. What exactly that looks like, I don’t know but I am trusting the process as I start to scale back and shift my focus in new directions. The things I am committed to over the next five years: - Empowering our youth: [The Children are Coming]( – and they will be the change. I am holding a zoom meeting on September 30 for young adults interested in lending their voices to this movement. I created this platform (www.thechildrenarecoming.com) and I want to turn it over to the youth to lead. I want to let go of the reins and cheer them on as they amplify their collective voices and share their experiences. If you know of a young adult interested in joining us, please have them reach out to info@thechildrenarecoming.com or [have them submit their story](. - Press coverage of the family court crisis: my background is in PR – I really want to focus on getting our stories told. Watching how the Colorado case of Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins did a complete 180 degree rotation as a result of international media coverage tells me that we are moving in the right direction. After speaking to Representative Meg Froelich, Erin Siegal (Fortitude & Flourish), and others with boots on the ground in Colorado, I compiled a small PR team lead by my beautiful friend, Jenny McGill and several other dedicated volunteers. Within 24 hours, a press release was created and submitted to journalists all over the country. When we all came together for a court watch on Thursday, Judge Daniel McDonald was noticeably flustered and commented that he had never seen so many people on the court watch. He [ended Rachel’s jail sentence]( along with the traumatic reunification therapy that had been ordered for her children. We must continue this momentum, and I need your help. I have created a [Google form to start collecting contact information for media outlets and journalists](. Please take a few minutes and add any media contacts in your area and beyond, with an emphasis on those who have previously covered family court stories. If you have a PR background or access to Cision, I’d love to connect and build a team. - Continuing to build our army: through my [coach training program](, while creating additional resources and courses for survivors. By the time I walk away from all of this, I want to ensure that OMB continues to be a resource center for anyone navigating post separation abuse and the family court industrial complex. I invite you to join our [OMB chapters]( and get involved – find support, get support, learn about legislation in your state and become a part of our movement. - Legislative change: our social media platform has 103,000 people on Facebook, 65,000 on Instagram, and 88,000 people on TikTok. To harness that kind of power has the potential for tremendous momentum and change. While I do not have the capacity to lead legislative efforts nor do I have the background to do that, things are underway in multiple states across the country, and I vow to continue using our social media platform to propel child-centric legislation forward. When we issue calls to action, we need you to make phone calls, send emails and show up to rallies or legislative hearings. Together, we have a lot of power and we can be part of the change. When we have rogue judges who aren’t following the laws, we do what we just did in the Colorado case mentioned above – we meet with elected officials, we get the governors attention, and we organize court watches to ensure that judges who aren’t following the laws are exposed through media efforts and public scrutiny. Whew, that was a lot. If you are still with me, thank you. Now I want to talk about goat soap. Not a typo, you read that right. Goat. Soap. It’s become my funny little guiding light in the distance for my next chapter. I keep joking that I may go off grid and make goat soap. I don’t know the first thing about milking goats and I’ve never made soap but, I am up for adventures. Yesterday, someone gifted me the cutest little bar of goat soap which will now sit on my desk and bring me joy. I look forward to finishing this current race very strong, and sprinting into the chapter that awaits me. My body, my soul and my mind crave peace and whether that is goat soap or some other fun new adventure, I am looking forward to it. As I approach my 50th trip around the sun and my nest is almost completely empty, I am embracing the beauty and the gift of aging. I see aging as a rise in our power, confidence, wisdom and authenticity. I look forward to the clarity to prioritize the things (and people) that truly matter. Thank you for being such a huge part of my journey over the past 15 years, I am truly grateful and send so much love to each and every one of you. Whether you are new to this journey, or a seasoned veteran… my heart is with you and I am cheering you on. I am a firm believer that it only takes one healthy parent to create an atmosphere for children to thrive and... you are that parent. You hold so much power, even when you feel depleted by this battle. This is an isolating journey but it doesn’t have to be, together we are stronger. Tina ### OMB Legal Disclaimer: We are not qualified to give legal advice, nor should this be considered legal advice. Please consult your attorney before you implement any new strategies or communication styles. Your attorney is your voice and advocate in (and out of) the courtroom. [✨] Our next session begins on January 20, 2025 [✨] We are building an army of advocates who are dedicated to protecting children and amplifying their voices. Divorcing a narcissistic or toxic individual takes the term, “high-conflict” to a level that few can comprehend. We are committed to educating the family court system that it only takes one person to create a high conflict divorce or child custody battle. Apply today at [hcdivorcecoach.com/apply]( To say that I am excited about this program would be an understatement. This is going to change the way survivors communicate with their abusers. We know that survivors should never have to communicate with their abuser but, if the court forces you to do it… this is the way to go. I like to introduce you to my new friend, [Aimee Says]( Coming in 2024: The Narc Decoder: Volume Two --------------------------------------------------------------- Divorcing a narcissist or child custody proceedings with a narcissist can feel all-consuming, demoralizing and destabilizing. Common sense and intuition calls for personal protection and firm boundaries yet the family court system demands that survivors acquiesce to the abuser. The court system itself becomes the platform for post separation abuse and the children become pawns and weapons. In a family court system that remains untrained on important topics such as domestic abuse, post separation abuse, coercive control, and victim versus perpetrator behaviors, many survivors are portrayed in a negative light as a result of their communication style. "When I first wrote The Narc Decoder in 2016, it was a much different climate in the family court system. While family court has never been a safe place for survivors of domestic abuse, the atmosphere has become even more concerning and has reached crisis level. It is inhumane for someone to be court-ordered to coparent with their abuser however, there are some harsh realities in the family court system. Healthy, reasonable parents are commonly painted as hysterical, unhinged, "alienators" so operating from a place of strategy is a critical component to protecting one's children. Protective parents are under a high-powered microscope and must navigate accordingly. I look forward to providing an updated guide for survivors who are forced to communicate with a narcissist or other toxic individual during child custody proceedings." -Tina Swithin Interested in submitting your "crazy making" communication for possible inclusion in the new addition? [Click here to read submission examples]( and to understand the format. After you have familiarize yourself, [click here to submit](. We’d like to hear about family court professionals who are NOT acting “in the best interest” of children and survivors. Link: [www.intheirbestinterest.com]( A certified high-conflict divorce coach can help you to face situations with confidence, knowledge, and strength. If you resonate with any of the following statements, you would be helped by having a divorce coach on your team: - I am new to divorcing a narcissist (or high conflict individual) and I don’t want to make mistakes. - I am struggling with radical acceptance and/or managing my expectations. - I struggle with what (and how) to document. - I have been using gray rock communication and it’s hurting my case. - I don’t understand what matters to the court system and I feel lost. - I feel alone and no one understands – my own therapist seems baffled. - I am at odds with my attorney, and I don’t feel heard. - I am facing a custody evaluation and I don’t know how to prepare. - The judge sees me as part of the problem and I don’t know how to turn this around. Our high-conflict divorce coaches have received extensive training on post separation abuse. These coaches have been taught by leading experts around the world and they are trained to serve as strategy partners. 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A judge gave the stepdad custody anyway. Then she found the photographs]( - [One Mom's Battle by Annie Kenny: Welcome to America, the Land of the Free - Unless you are the Child of An Abuser]( - [ProPublica: Barricaded Siblings Turn to TikTok While Defying Court Order to Return to Father They Say Abused Them]( - [Page Six: Lala Kent Protesting Family Court Abuse]( - [San Francisco Public Press: Family Courts Rely on Dubious Theory to Dismiss Child Abuse Claims]( - [San Francisco Public Press: Children’s Violent Removal From Santa Cruz Home Raises Calls to End Reunification Camps]( - [Good Times Santa Cruz: Teens and Lawmakers Work to Outlaw Reunification Therapy]( [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Link]( [Website]( [Pinterest]( [LinkedIn]( [YouTube]( Our mailing address is: One Mom's Battle/Tina Swithin P.O. Box 123 San Luis Obispo, California 93406 Want to change how you receive these emails? 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