Weekend: Can You Fix a One-Sided Friendship? ❤️‍🩹

But first: all the sales worth shopping this week — Check out what we Skimm’d for you today [theSkimm Logo] [Subscribe]( [Read in browser]( May 18, 2024 Daily Skimm Header Image But first: [all the sales]( worth shopping this week --------------------------------------------------------------- [Update location]( or [View forecast]( EDITOR’S NOTE Happy Saturday. It pains me to admit that while panic-buying for my next vacation, I gave into two trends I’d sworn off: [boxer shorts]( and [“millennial indie-sleaze” vests](. Though, I did draw the line at [so-called Polly Pocket shoes](. Regardless, I’ll be doing a lot of returns this weekend, which sounds like the perfect task for an “[executive butler](” — something real people (not just royals and “Downton Abbey” characters) apparently have. As a reward, maybe I’ll treat myself to a “[goth cake](,” which sounds more appealing than Hailey Bieber’s [strange pregnancy craving](. Same with the internet’s latest obsession: [Dr. Pepper and pickles](. And I’ll also rewatch [this proposal video]( because it’s…actually adorable. That’s saying a lot, coming from me. — Melissa Goldberg / Senior Editor / Washington, DC [READ "ALL FOURS" BY MIRANDA JULY ] “All Fours” by Miranda July theSkimm Although pop culture would have you believe otherwise, coming-of-age stories can happen at all ages. In Miranda July’s second novel, we follow a 45-year-old unnamed narrator and her supposed road trip between California and New York. Her plans go awry when she takes a slight detour to a motel where she has an affair. Fear not: This is not your typical “affair novel.” Instead, expect substantial yet comedic commentary on childbirth, daughterhood, motherhood, aging, death, and every other complicated layer of female middle age. We asked July a couple questions. Here’s what she had to say… Q: You started writing “[All Fours](” when you were 45, the same age as its protagonist. How much of the book was inspired by your own life? July: I’d been wanting to write a can’t-sleep-can’t-stop-masturbating, capital-R romance for about 15 years, but I could never figure out how or why until I entered the mapless midpoint of life. That romantic longing had a deeper, more urgent purpose. And yes, like my narrator, I had a feeling at 45 that if I didn’t do something soon I would miss the last stop before a very bitter second half of life. The book allowed me to create more room and imagine more possibilities; it was a fictional space I ultimately stepped into. Q: A recent headline said: “[Miranda July’s New Novel Will Ignite Your Group Chats](.” What’s something that’s recently ignited your group chats? July: I try to avoid group chats, so the only one I have right now is with my brother and his girlfriend. Does one extra person make it a group? Regardless, it’s about what my child and I should do when we’re in Japan in July, but it has devolved into ‘does this real-life dog look like Snoopy?’ The answer: No. Too fluffy. Let’s hope my novel is a hotter topic. PS: Looking for other books that’ll fire up your group chats? Check out [these steamy reads](. [EAT ASPARAGUS RISOTTO ] This Asparagus Risotto Is So Easy, Anyone Can Make It — Yes, Anyone theSkimm If you’ve recently visited your local farmers’ market or grocery store, you already know: Asparagus season is in full swing. That also means the bounty of rubber-banded bunches will be gone before you know it. (Yes, asparagus is available at supermarkets all year, but it’s not the same.) So to make the most of the season, while you can, we recommend [Love and Lemons’s Asparagus Risotto](. The hearty-but-not-heavy recipe also includes sweet leeks, fresh herbs, and a splash of lemon juice for a dish that’s creamy, springy, and surprisingly simple to make. The Time Commitment: If you think risotto takes forever, think again. This recipe will be ready to serve in 40 minutes. Key Tips: While both thick and thin stalks will work, the latter are preferred since they’ll “meld more seamlessly with the risotto.” (Note: If you can only find thick ones, slice them in half vertically before chopping.) Another thing to keep in mind [when shopping](? Look for stalks with tight, fully-closed tips. Other Takes: Got carried away at the farmers’ market? It happens. To use up the rest of your haul, try this [Asparagus and Feta Salad]( — in which the veggie is the star. Same with this [Asparagus Tartine With Ricotta and Mint]( and this [Spring Asparagus Galette](. Other exceptional dinner options: [Lemony Asparagus Pasta]( and [One-Pan Chicken With Asparagus, Almonds, and Miso Butter](. And make this [Asparagus-and-Zucchini Frittata]( the next morning. [GO TAOS NEW MEXICO ] The Artsy New Mexico Town That’s Coming for Santa Fe’s Spot theSkimm If Santa Fe is the Nicole Richie of New Mexico, consider Taos [Sofia Richie Grainge]( — meaning, its cool younger sister. Known for its wide and fast ski slopes, [this Southwest gem]( has just as much to offer during warmer months. Think: stunning scenery (don’t skip driving over the famous [Rio Grande Gorge Bridge](), a thriving arts scene, one-of-a-kind historical landmarks, delicious food, and all sorts of [outdoor activities]( — including [hot air balloon rides](, trails for hiking and horseback riding, whitewater rafting, and soaks in [mineral-rich hot springs](. 🛏 For a stay that’s just as funky as the town, book one of the 22 carefully restored trailers at [Hotel Luna Mystica]( — each of which has its own name and vibe (we’re partial to [Louise](). But if glamping isn’t your style, check out the [Taos Inn](, which is located in the heart of the historic district and is known for its adobe-style architecture and [hotel bar](, endearingly referred to as “the living room of Taos.” 🏜 Just 10 minutes from downtown, you’ll find [Taos Pueblo](, the only living Native American community that’s both a [UNESCO World Heritage site]( and a [National Historic Landmark](. At its center are multi-story, ancient adobe structures, which are currently home to about 150 residents — some of whom lead visitors on guided tours. In addition to learning about the community’s history and culture, you can also sample a traditional bread baked in adobe ovens and buy jewelry and pottery made by local artisans. [TAOS NEW MEXICO] 🎨 With [dozens of spots]( to choose from, it’s easy to spend a few hours (or more) museum- and gallery-hopping. Make sure to stop at: the [Millicent Rogers Museum](, which features nearly 1,000 pieces of Native American jewelry; the [Harwood Museum of Art](, popular for its collection of paintings, sculptures, and photographs from many northern New Mexican artists; and [203 Fine Art](, known for its contemporary and abstract pieces. 🍴 Kick off your day at [Michael’s Kitchen](, a local fave that serves outstanding huevos rancheros, breakfast enchiladas, and cinnamon rolls. Then, for a more elevated take on New Mexican cuisine, nab a dinner reservation at [The Love Apple](, which is housed in an early 1800s chapel and uses locally grown, seasonal ingredients. And stop by [Taos Cow]( for a sweet treat. Chocolate Rio Grande, anyone? [Ask An Expert Etiquette Edition] We asked you to vote on an etiquette question you’d like answered. The winner was: Q: I love my friend, but I’m not happy with the state of our friendship. When we’re together, it’s great — but I always have to be the one to reach out to make plans. How do I tell her she needs to make an effort, too? [TWO WOMEN TALKING ON A PARK BENCH] “A few things to consider before having the ‘can you reciprocate conversation’: - Are they rarely reaching out to anyone, or is it just you? Are there personal situations that make it hard for them to have the energy to organize plans? Think about whether your friendship needs are realistic for the two of you. - Consider whether you’re desiring this friendship more than she is: Does she usually say yes to your invitations? Does she wait to see if she gets a ‘better deal’ before committing to plans with you? - Think of specific examples of when you’ve felt as if you’re always the one reaching out. - Identify what making an effort would actually look like. Once you’re ready to talk to your friend, find a time when you can chat uninterrupted, and let your friend know that you care about them and value their friendship. Use ‘I’ statements instead of ‘you’ statements: ‘I’ve realized I’m the one reaching out on the weekends.’ You can offer to share examples if needed, but be careful not to come across as critical or blaming. Then, work together to identify specific ways you can create a more reciprocal friendship, like taking turns planning get-togethers or starting a shared calendar you both fill in.” [MELANIE ROSS MILLS, PHD ] Featured Expert Melanie Ross Mills, PhD [Relational health and friendship expert]( [tell us] Which etiquette question should an expert answer next week? [I work remotely, and one of my direct reports always keeps her camera off — even when we’re having more serious one-on-one meetings. I’ve previously asked her to turn it on, but she always has an excuse. What should I do?]( [I planned my friend’s bachelorette, and one of the guests, who I don’t know well, backed out last minute. Now she’s asking we refund her portion of the rental house — which’ll make it more expensive for everyone else. Any advice?]( [My mother-in-law is always making comments about how she’d redecorate my house — and she’s even moved things around without asking. I know she’s just trying to help, but it’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to have her over. How do I address this?]( [skimm picks] Trending products and brands our shopping team has been loving recently. The must-have dress we’re getting in every color. [This linen number]( is perfect for every warm-weather event on your calendar. Go from sunny summer days to breezy summer nights — [no outfit change required](.* [Add to closet]( --------------------------------------------------------------- A baby gift to go in on with friends. The [SNOO]( is basically the Smart House of bassinets — it automatically calms fussy babies with a gentle rocking motion and white noise. It doesn't come cheap, so it's [a great gift to split](. [Buy it]( --------------------------------------------------------------- The only sleep supplement that works. According to [one sleep-deprived editor](, at least. Moon Juice's [Magnesi-Om]( has a sweet-and-tart flavor and (gently) knocks her out before she can even finish her Sleepy Girl Mocktail. A must for her overall [mental wellness](. [Sweet dreams]( --------------------------------------------------------------- PS: Want more product recs? Follow [@skimmshopping]( on Instagram. [game time][Rotating Gif of Puzzmo Games]( Unleash your competitive side with [today’s games and puzzles](. Choose from an anagram word search, digital jigsaw puzzle, or crossword (with a twist). Better yet: [Try them all](. Meet Us On The Leaderboard [Flipart]( | [Spelltower]( | [Crossword]( | [Typeshift]( Subscribe to Skimm Well [the skimm Nobody absolutely nobody your vulva: so about that gyno appointment...]( Put your health first [Nearly half of women]( skip getting preventative care — like their annual checkups. It’s no wonder since looking after everyone else takes so much energy. There’s none left for yourself. We can help. [Skimm Well]( gives you the info you need to keep your health top of mind with the latest news, expert-backed tips, and resources. Plus *gentle* reminders to schedule that OBGYN visit, too. [Subscribe here]( Have a book, recipe, or travel rec? Or, a dicey etiquette question you want answered by an expert? Submit them [here](. Skimm’d by: Taylor Trudon, Alex Carr, Melissa Goldberg, and Margaret Wheeler Johnson --------------------------------------------------------------- Photos by Riverhead Books, Love and Lemons, miroslav_1 via iStock, EunikaSopotnicka via iStock, Mona Makela Photography via Getty Images, courtesy of Melanie Ross Mills, Brand Partners Design by theSkimm --------------------------------------------------------------- *PS: This is a sponsored post. Want to wake up with us every morning? [Subscribe to all theSkimm has to offer](. --------------------------------------------------------------- [Instagram Icon]( [Tik Tok Icon]( [Linkedin Logo]( [Twitter icon]( [Facebook icon]( --------------------------------------------------------------- Skimm'd something we missed? skimmthis@theSkimm.com Issues? 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