Microsoft's Windows Phone folly costs it another billion dollars [Thu May 26 2016]

The Register Daily Headlines 26 May 2016 Check out our other feeds and services: Business News * Judge torpedoes 'Tor pedo' evidence Feds keep Tor flaw in the hoard * Sweden decides Julian Assange(TM) 'remains detained in absentia' Couch-surfer's cat responds with yawn of disdain * Hillary Clinton broke law with private email server - top US govt watchdog System also came under hacking attacks (just like everything else on the internet) * Telstra gets AU$180 million to run national cancer register The Big Titsup will manage healthcare records. What could possibly go wrong? * Hulk Hogan's sex tape, a Silicon Valley billionaire, and a $10m revenge plot to destroy Gawker Analysis: A storyline even the Simpsons would have refused * US nuke arsenal run by 1970s IBM 'puter using 8-inch floppies Uncle Sam blows billions a year on legacy tech * Lost your shirt in the MtGox Bitcoin mess? Release the Kraken! BTC exchange says it will refund lost funbux soon * Hardware sizzles for HPE - and brings home the bacon Whitman hails 'best quarter' since she grabbed CEO chair * Craig Wilson just can't catch a break. Tries to leave HPE, finds self back again Exec heads to CSC via Xchanging... arrives back at the Hotel California * Irish data cops kick Max Schrems' latest Facebook complaint up to EU Court Safe Harbor's dead, now DPC wants contract clauses decision * Bearded Baron Shugs hired by Gov.uk to get down with the kids 'Bang the drum with me - apprenticeships, startups, apprenticeships, startups' * Microsoft's Windows Phone folly costs it another billion dollars 1,850 jobs cut - mostly in Finland. Microsoft Mobile. Oy * Geniuses at HMRC sack too many staff! Nope, can't do it online. FAIL Audit watchdog snarls at taxman for hasty cost-cutting * 'Grey tech' broker DP Data Systems has gone titsup Vowed to go clean rather than shut up shop. Shuts up shop * Labour scores review of Snoopers' Charter's bulk powers from UK.gov IPB: Theresa May appoints indie reviewer in letter to Andy Burnham * British cops to film you with 59k body-worn cameras by end of year Yes, they ARE considering cloud storage, how about that Channel News * Hardware sizzles for HPE - and brings home the bacon Whitman hails 'best quarter' since she grabbed CEO chair * Craig Wilson just can't catch a break. Tries to leave HPE, finds self back again Exec heads to CSC via Xchanging... arrives back at the Hotel California * Geniuses at HMRC sack too many staff! Nope, can't do it online. FAIL Audit watchdog snarls at taxman for hasty cost-cutting * 'Grey tech' broker DP Data Systems has gone titsup Vowed to go clean rather than shut up shop. Shuts up shop * Former Sun CEO Scott McNealy has data on 1/14th of humanity He wants it for 1/7th, plus a proper thin client to access it with and for Silicon Valley to come up with some new ideas Data Centre News * Brocade tunes up Workflow Composer for network automation Management tools will script out admin jobs * Citrix dodges death, returns with bigger XenServer and NetScaler Drinking the software-defined big data kool aid through one pane of glass DevOps News * Hand the security cookbook to your robot butler: Time to automate You can even pour it all into a container... Hardware News * Hooves in spaaace: Goat Simulator goes galactic Caprine capers continue with Waste of Space expansion Networks News * Florida man, Chinese biz fined $48k, $35m on mobe signal jam raps Wham, jam, pay Uncle Sam * Big Cable uses critics' own arguments to slam set-top box shake-up Analysis: Where exactly should the FCC's authority stop? * German boffins smash records with 37km wireless spurt at 6Gbps I can stream for miles and miles... Security News * Seattle Suehawks: Smart meter hush-up launched because, er ... terrorism Security through obscurity, amirite? * You've patched that Flash hole, but have the users? Phone's ringing. It's for you Latest exploit used to sling CryptXXX ransomware * Next-gen Tor to use distributed RNG, 55-character addresses Numbers so random no one can predict how random they'll be * MITRE fighter says CVE delays are no laughing matter, names bug ROFL in branding protest AusCERT: Hopes Rocket Overloaded Flags Liability spurs adoption of DWF bug IDs * VXer group ramps up malware to attack Indian embassies "Operation Ke3chang" updates 'Tidepool' malware to target MS Word mess Software News * Speaking in Tech: Microsoft's 'Bing concierge bot' appears in the job ads Podcast: Plus: Is it time to PaaS the buck? * Former Sun CEO Scott McNealy has data on 1/14th of humanity He wants it for 1/7th, plus a proper thin client to access it with and for Silicon Valley to come up with some new ideas Science News * ISS 'nauts to inflate pump-up space podule Bigelow Expandable Activity Module engorges tomorrow * Boffins blow up water with LASERS, to watch explosions in slow-mo Video: Humanity needs to know more about how matter behaves in extreme conditions Bootnotes News * Thai bloke battles jumbo python in toilet todger thriller Morning dump ends in snake attached to spam javelin Free whitepaper Web threats: Challenges and solutions Web threats employ blended techniques, an explosion of variants, and targeted regional attacks. 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