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 â â â â â â â â â â â  â â â â â â â â â â â â â  â â â â â â â â â â â â â I used to send a lot of âIâm sorryâ emails. [a GIF of Tarzan shaking her head with text saying, "Sorry, not sorry"]( My subscribers were forever on the receiving end of one apology or another, for things they most likely cared very little about. Apologizing was a normal reaction if a single one of my subscribers told me Iâd done something wrong. Even one person was too many. I didnât care about consensus. I grew up in a religious cult where there were right ideas, right behaviours, and the right kinds of peopleâ¦and then there was everything else. If you werenât able to contort yourself to fit inside their teeny-tiny box of puritanical Christianity, you were considered âworldlyâ i.e one of the wrong kinds of people. If you tell me Iâm wrong or bad, I respond like a scared 5-year-old. I want to hide. I apologize even when I havenât done anything wrong, just to make sure no oneâs mad at me. Thatâs a trap I still fall into as a business owner. In a recent meeting, I thanked my team for putting together a private event with almost no input from me. They did a bang-up job. All I had to do was show up and be Tarzan. Then I started doing the apology dance. Iâm sorry that I wasnât very present during the planning.
Iâm sorry my leadership has been lacking since my divorce.
Iâm sorry that I missed the deadline on [insert literally any item on my to-do list]
and and and Sandra interrupted me, âI just want to say, Tarzan, none of that is a weakness. Being able to rely on your team is a huge strength. Most people can't do that.â I had to catch my breath. Oh, fuck. Iâm doing that again. Trying to be a good girl. Trying to make sure no oneâs mad at me. The fear of offending someone, of getting critical feedback or even just having people unsubscribe can really get in your way when youâre trying to write great emails. If you donât take a chance now and then, say what you *really* think especially on issues that are important to you, your emails are going to come off a little vanillaâas will all of your copy, really. You might get feedback thatâs hard to hear. If you hear from multiple people with similar complaints, that tells me the issue is worth a deeper look. Do you need to reexamine your position? Have you made a mistake you need to repair? You donât have to be polarizing just for the sake of it. Maybe youâre in the car maintenance business, or you sell a home-baking program. But if and when the urge to self-censor arises, ask yourself why? Is it because someone might be offended? Is it because youâre afraid you might alienate certain customers? I urge you to take a chance. Your subscribers and customers are probably a lot more open and tolerant than you think. When [I came out about being in a throuple]( I got dozens upon dozens of beautiful, encouraging email replies. Some people wonât like what you have to say. Those people will take one step back. But the people who do will take three steps closer. Itâs those âthree steps closerâ people who are going to become your best customers, your referral partners and your biggest fans. If you ask me, thatâs worth taking the risk for. With love,
Tarzan Want to access your fave emails on the go? Subscribe to the [Tarzan Reads Her Emails]( podcast]( to, well, hear Tarzan read her emails. 🤷ââï¸ [New recordings released every Tuesday and Friday. Exclusively for my email subscribers]( Enjoy the email? Why not share it with a friend? Â
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EDM Keywords (100)
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