The Straight Dope: How would I go about laundering money?

[Send questions for Cecil Adams: cecil@straightdope.com](mailto:cecil@straightdope.com) FOLLOW CECIL ADAMS ON [TWITTER]( AND [FACEBOOK](! [dope_090109_laundering.gif] THREADSPOTTING: THE BEST OF THE STRAIGHT DOPE MESSAGE BOARD — 10/04/2019 Rescue the kitties from under the porch! [Click here]( for more. STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC #1 — 01/09/2009 Dear Cecil: Being the fount of all knowledge, could you tell me the best way to launder money? The information may come in useful one day. — Ben Vicken, somewhere in Asia Cecil replies: I’m confident you’re not contemplating anything illegal, Ben. However, it’s helpful for us law-abiding folk to understand the workings of the criminal mind. So let’s start at the beginning. Suppose you have a couple grocery bags full of ill-gotten cash. What do you do? [Click here]( for more. STRAIGHT DOPE STAFF REPORT — 11/18/1999 Dear Straight Dope: I once heard that Geroge Lucas initially wanted to update the Flash Gordon franchise, but couldn't get the rights. Therefore, he went ahead and eventually hammered out the Star Wars concept. As the theory goes, this is why (at least in spirit) the trilogy looks so "Flash Gordon-y" (their description, not mine). Is this true? — steveb@neca.com SDStaff Songbird replies The force must be with you, Steve. Here it is, straight from Lucas’ first Hollywood boss and fellow USC graduate, Francis Ford Coppola: “George wanted to do Flash Gordon … [Click here]( for more. STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC #2 — 11/22/1985 Dear Cecil: I know this is a sticky question, but I'll ask anyway: does any solid evidence exist to prove that a Jesus of Nazareth actually lived? And what about the Shroud of Turin — have scientists concluded anything about it? — Ben C., Chicago Cecil replies: Don’t worry about getting me into hot water, Ben. About the only people this column has failed to offend already in its checkered history are left-handed Anabaptists — and just wait till they get a load of next week’s blockbuster. [Click here]( for more. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [View this message as a webpage](. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners. To advertise on The Straight Dope, contact Rich Hummel at rhummel@suntimes.com [Privacy Policy/Terms of Use]( • [Unsubscribe]( © 2019 Straight Dope, LLC. 30 N Racine Ave. Suite 300, Chicago, IL 60607