I Did Not Like Living in Costa Rica

Where you live deeply affects YOUR ENTIRE LIFE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Forwarded this email? [Subscribe here]() for more [I Did Not Like Living in Costa Rica]( Where you live deeply affects YOUR ENTIRE LIFE [Ash Ambirge]( Nov 25 ∙ Preview   [READ IN APP](   It’s been 6 months since I left Costa Rica. Six months since I decided that being in a place you love is as fundamental as oxygen. I did not like living in Costa Rica. And yet, I spent a very good portion of my life there, over the last eleven years, because we fight for people, not places. Places aren’t supposed to matter if you’re with the ones you love. Right? Maybe not. *** Where you are shapes who you are. This is a fundamental truth I have learned. Place determines everything about you—and far more than we give credit. - Place determines the kind of things you do on a Sunday. Whether you hike or bike or brunch or drink. (Or slash your neighbor’s tires.) - Place determines your attitude toward the outdoors. Whether you want to be outside or would just as soon lock yourself in a closet. - Place determines how social you are. Whether you actually like the kind of people around you and want to engage with them—or…not? - Place determines the kinds of things you eat. Whether you’re spooning up a spinach and goat cheese salad, or swallowing down a bucket of hot wings. - Place determines how enthusiastic you are. Whether you see progress all around you, or whether you’re depressed by a lack thereof. - Place determines how well you take care of yourself. Is it easy to have good habits, or easy to have bad ones? - Place determines the kind of work you do in the world. Are there people doing interesting things around you, or is there a lack of inspiration? - Place determines how much belonging you feel. Are the people warm and welcoming and friendly, or are they closed off and withdrawn and distant? - Place determines your daily norms. Do you walk to the bakery to get fresh bread each day, or do you bring a giant SUV to a supermarket and go straight to the frozen aisle? - In short? Place determines your relationship with the world. Everything you do is a product of the place you live. Yet, most of us don’t think of it that way. The place you are is usually considered mere background; a blank canvas backdrop; the empty stage on which we live our lives. But, what if place were actually a main character? What if the place you lived determined the person you are? *** In Costa Rica, I did not want to: - Go anywhere on a Sunday - Hang out at the beach (ever) - Socialize with people (I never felt I’d found kindred spirits who enjoy the same things I do) - Eat healthy (because food & wine were two of my few joys) - Get involved with the community - Exercise anywhere outdoors (so oppressively muggy & humid) - Be excited about the future of the town, the place, the region, and the opportunities It wasn’t until earlier this year, did I decide that all of these things were no longer acceptable to me. And, as my friend M says: I am allowed to have everything I want. Even if it seems “selfish.” And even if I must make a drastic life change in order to honor myself. *** The irony is, of course, that I can live & work from anywhere in the world. My work allows for that. I designed it that way. I became a writer and was an early pioneer in online business because it helped me live a better life. That was always the goal. And, man am I humbled to say I’ve created a beautiful reality for myself. I’ve lived well. I’ve been fortunate to have gone all over the place. I do spend time in Europe each year. I’ve spent considerable time in South America. I visit New England each year. I’ve just gotten back from a trip to Vermont, in fact. But, sporadic time spent in places you like is not enough to erase the harm of living in a place you don’t. Because, that’s what being somewhere disagreeable actually is: a subtle, quiet harm. It hurts you when the place you live doesn’t align with your values. And, you know the biggest harm it causes? A squashing of your potential. Your spirit. Your spunk. How much of what you become is because of where you are? Turns out, a lot. At least, the economists at Harvard [think so](. They have a term called “outcome of exposure.” So very scientific! I first read about it in Melody Warnick’s book, [IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE]( book for people who work remotely to sort out where, when the options are limitless, you should live. (Highly, highly recommend.) Here’s what she said: [Outcome of exposure] is proof that the places we’re from, form us. They affect what we think about, what we’re interested in, what we see as possible for ourselves . . . Communities shape our opportunities. Where you grow up matters to the kind of work you end up doing, and so does where you live now. There’s a kind of alchemy that occurs when ambition meets a place equipped to properly nurture it. If where you live is so important, then: how do you decide? ... Subscribe to The Middle Finger Project with Ash Ambirge to read the rest. Become a paying subscriber of The Middle Finger Project with Ash Ambirge to get access to this post and other subscriber-only content. 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