So long as you're not a COMPLETE creep (like me, apparently)  â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â â
âLive Better, Work Less, and Do Weird & Wonderful Shit âï¸ ð So long as you're not a COMPLETE creep (like me, apparently) â â Welpâ¦â¦.SPENT THE MORNING POURING CONCRETE! Howâs your day going?! ð No, but really: if you ever want to see an author become completely useless, take her to the old fair grounds and put her in the chicken coop and give her a wheelbarrow full of concrete and tell her to use a âbull float.â Shit, I could hardly turn the hose on. Which is precisely why I NEEDED TO GO. You canât live inside your brain forever. You need to go outside, be barefoot in the grass, plant daisies, drive pickup trucks through fields. Fortunately, I happen to be very good at the latter. Parking inside of lines, not so much, but not everyone can be an achiever, okay??? I canât tell you how good this feels, thisâ¦outdoors business. Am I having a midlife crisis? A psychotic break? DID I DEVELOP MULTIPLE IDENTITIES FROM STARING AT THE SCREEN TOO LONG??? Because suddenly Iâm finding myself with the strangest urge to raise chickens, wear overalls and bake cupcakes for 15 little girls in the yardâwhich is definitely the most pedophile-ish thing Iâve ever said. At least, it would be if I were a guy. But because Iâm a chick, everyoneâs like âawwwwww.â Little do they know, Iâm probably going to end up poisoning them all or letting them get too close to the concrete mixer. Whoops! There goes an arm. What are we even talking about. GOD, ASH. Reel it in. ANYWAYâsomething Iâve been thinking a lot about, since Iâve been here, is how often we want to do things, butâ¦donât do them. How long have you wanted to write a book? Plant a garden? Learn photography? Press flowers into a collage? Life just seems to suck up every single free minute weâve got, and the next thing you know, youâre a sixty-four year old khaki-wearing bingo player, and you never got around to doing any of it. Not a single fucking thing. All you did was take the trash back and forth to the end of the driveway and check off a bunch of tasks that other people needed you to do. Thrilling! You win an award for being the most reliable task master on earth. Congratulations, your soulâs officially deadâbut man, were you efficient. What actually matters? I can promise you this: itâs not efficiency. Not unless the year is 1965 and youâre working in a rubber factory operating a mixer on the night shift. And yet, we act like itâs the only thing that does matter. We rush, run, and to-do list our way through life as if any of itâs getting us any closer to the life we want to live. But boy, how pissed youâre going to be someday that you answered all of those emails on time. All those emailsâall those requests on your time from other people and their emergenciesâwere the reason you never went outside. Never put a fishing pole into a pond. Never hiked that mountain trail. Never sat on the porch at dawn and watched the fog float over the hills. WHAT ARE WE DOING WITH OUR LIVES??? Our quality of life should be the best itâs ever been, thanks to technologyâand yet, itâs the worst. Technology should have saved us. Technology should have freed us up to do smarter work, rather than harder work, so we could enjoy more leisure time than ever. Thatâs what computers were built for: so we didnât have to spend all our days in a factory, manually producing output. But, what did we do instead? We took computers and we got addicted to them. Look around the restaurant the next time youâre in one: how many people are scrolling on a phone? How many people are doing so while theyâre with OTHER ACTUAL HUMANS? How many people look at their phone the minute they open their eyes??? We arenât using technology. Technology is using us. And, I think itâs time we pushed back on that. I think itâs time we start using technology to better our quality of life, not wreck it. I think itâs time we start using technology to better our careers. To earn a damn good living. To make a modern income stream that would make your mother weep. And, I think itâs time we start using technology as a force of good: for ourselves, for our future, for our ability to go the f*ck outside on a Thursday morning and pour some concrete at the old fair grounds with friends youâll know forever, wearing faded cut-off jeans and a smirk the size of Texas, singing along to hits from 1999, and remembering that sometimes, itâs not about working more. Itâs about living better. â â â --------------------------------------------------------------- â Want to build an online income stream that lets you pour concrete like a creep on a Thursday frolic in the grass more? Want to sell your stuff on autopilot using technology? Want to free up more of your day so you can chase the sunshineâand earn more while working less this year? âï¸ Enrollment in [Selfish School]( closes THIS WEEKEND, BABY. Itâs my big new course thatâll teach you how to build a $250K online income stream with digital products, using the knowledge you already have, and then applying my super duper selfish âno social mediaâ sales system thatâll blow your sales into outer space. Itâs smart. Itâs effective. Itâs fun. And beginners can use it, too. ð¥ (You donât need an email list!) If youâre on the fence, grab it now and remember: we have a solid 30-day refund policy so if for any reason it isnât your cup of tea, just shoot us an email and weâll get you taken care of! Zero questions, zero hassle. Just all love & good products thatâll make your life betterâthatâs the goal. â [Get Selfish School & Breathe Again]( â â â â â How to live & work from anywhere in the world
and enjoy your life again â WITH ASH AMBIRGE + Sweary outbursts
+ Unpopular opinions about crustaceans
+ New ideas about ways to earn a living that don't require you to be a sucker
+ How to actually enjoy your life while working less and visiting Ireland more
+ A real zest for extreme pearl wearing
+ Favoritism for bars with scary-ass mafia pool rules
(MY QUARTERS WERE THERE, SON)
+ Zero ambition to be a good girl who bakes casseroles & smiles politely
+ BUT ALSO: a creepy affection for small-town Main Streets & freshly-mowed lawns
+ Currently searching for the most livable places in the world (and looking through people's windows)
+ Unbridled enthusiasm for storage units and guys named Bob
+ Deep fear of waking up and not having any water on the nightstand
+ Entirely unbalanced accounts of everything, including my morals
+ At least three Freudian slips around my true feelings about bracelets
(They make your arms look like baby wiener sausages at an Italian wedding) P.S. Have you read [my book on living & working differently]() yet?
It's a real blast to have on the coffee table when the in-laws come over.
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