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Iâm Scared of Washing My Face Because What If Thereâs Something Behind Me
Iâve been dealing with a nightly haunting. It goes like this: I brush my teeth, take out my contacts, pump some Cetaphil into my hands, and start smushing it into my skin, working off my foundation. Then I turn on the tap, close my eyes, and start rubbing the dayâs mascara off my lashes. Thatâs when it starts.
Me: *Washing my face, washing my face*
My mind: Thereâs something behind you.
Me: Weâre not doing this right now.
My mind: Something just touched your leg.
When I squeegee the water from my eyes, I discover that there is not a dead-eyed child or animated corpse standing behind me. There never is. But I donât know that this wonât be the case tomorrow, or the next night, so I go on fantasizing about all the possibilities while I rinse my face.
I donât watch horror movies for obvious reasons, but Iâve absorbed enough of the genre â mostly through YouTube serving up scary trailers alongside Carly Rae Jepsen videos, which isnât even good ad targeting â to know that mirrors are the worst idea. Donât splash water on your face in front of them, donât wipe steam from them after a shower, probably just donât have them in your home at all. (I am [not the only one]( who feels this way.) The key to unlocking a low-maintenance cool-girl beauty routine isnât Glossier, itâs a feverish imagination.
This irrational but persistent fear became a daily thing when I moved into a studio apartment by myself, but it started at my parentsâ house. The mirror in the bathroom I share with my sister when we come home provides a partial view down the hallway, which is usually dark because my mother is always turning off lights that arenât actively being used. My mom also likes to stop by for a chat while Iâm getting ready for bed but doesnât always announce her presence before sheâs suddenly emerged out of the darkness into my sight line, which is nice of her but makes my intestines panic.
It comes up when I travel alone for work, too, like that time I made a bunch of students at the Savannah College of Art and Design tell me about their personal experiences with ghosts, because Savannah is apparently a very haunted town. I will add that the only wall decoration in my hotel room that night was a large photo of a stone angel in a churchyard.
That said, Iâm more scared of what will happen if I donât wash my face. If you have moody skin like mine, you know that sleeping in your makeup translates to three days of breakouts, plus a mystery rash if the humidity is just right. So in general, I love a good face cleaning. Itâs an opportunity to do right by my skin, and itâs a mental reset button.
The trouble with rituals is that you can develop accessory habits along with them, like imagining bathroom monsters, which are hard to get rid of without disrupting the first. And while meditative moments can give you space to breathe and calm your mind, they also open up space for the anxious thoughts youâve successfully distracted yourself from all day. Lately, it seems like we all have a lot of those.
To cope, Iâve developed some specific techniques, and Iâll share them here for anyone who may have similar concerns:
- Fire up The Great British Baking Show at top volume. It is the kindest thing on Netflix right now.
- Consider using an oil cleanser, which drips less than a creamy formula and therefore minimizes the amount of time you have to spend with your head bent low to the sink. (Julep makes a [wonderful version]( that I love but donât always want to pay $28 for, hence my return to Cetaphil, and fear.)
- If you prefer, make like a [French Girl]( and invest in a big bottle of [Bioderma micellar water](, which takes off makeup like a dream and renders face washing totally unnecessary. (I still rinse, but thatâs because I canât get over the feeling that itâs leaving behind a weird residue.)
- Burn sage, âjust because you like the smell of it.â
- Fixate on something irritating your significant other or best friend said recently. This is not healthy, but it is an extremely effective distraction technique.
Probably you will discover that there was nothing behind you at all. This has been my experience so far. But if you have, please do not tell me about it. â[Eliza Brooke](, senior reporter
Do you also have this extremely irrational fear? [Vote here](.
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Targetâs Big Revamp
Like so many clothing brands, Mossimo has weathered business lows along with swells of success. Mossimo Giannulli launched his line in 1986 and took it public in 1996 at the age of 33; by 2000, the high-end brand was struggling and inked an expansive licensing deal with Target that would give its goods an affordable spin for a mass audience. Months later, it delisted from the New York Stock Exchange.
Today, many people associate Mossimo with shopping for wardrobe staples at [Target](. (For a number of Racked editors, itâs a reliable source of tank tops and tees.) But that era seems to be coming to an end, too: Target is in the process of introducing a bunch of new brands to its roster and, the [Wall Street Journal]( reported over the holiday weekend, is eliminating its Merona line as well as menâs Mossimo clothing.
The thinking is that a lot of Targetâs clothing lines are just too generic for todayâs artisanally-minded shoppers. So itâs [bringing in]( JoyLab, a womenâs athleisure line filled with colorblocking and florals; Goodfellow & Co, a menâs line that carries hipster-y leather boots and shawl-collar sweaters; and A New Day, a trend-driven womenâs brand. While Amazon and [Walmart]( turn up the heat on their clothing businesses, this is how Target is trying to compete. â[Eliza Brooke](, senior reporter
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[We Tested a Bunch of Weird New Lip Products](
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Iâm not one to always have color on my lips (or even very often, if weâre being real), but I do love trying new things. And so the recent slew of lip products promising innovative hybrid formulas and other fancy marketing differentiators â including cloud-like softness and 10-hour âkiss-proofâ color â has piqued my interest over the last few months. How good are they really?
From young millennial-focused brands like ColourPop to lifers like Dior, I tried four of the newest, buzziest lip formulas out right now â be they more of a lipstick, a gloss, or a hybrid of the two â to answer that question. â[Tanisha Pina](, associate market editor
[See which ones we liked best >>](
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