The Edit: So You Have to Talk to Your Parents About Politics ...

Plus: Your advice on making friends. View in [Browser]( | Add nytdirect@nytimes.com to your address book. [The New York Times]( [The New York Times]( Tuesday, October 30, 2018 [NYTimes.com »]( George Wylesol So You Have to Talk to Your Parents About Politics ... By Lindsey Underwood We’re one week away from the midterm elections and the holiday season is approaching. For many people that means uncomfortable conversations with family members about politics are on the way. This week, I asked several contributors to The Edit to share how they approach talking to their parents about politics. Here’s what they said: Nushrat Rahman, Detroit As midterms quickly approach, I’m going to take some time this week to print out ballot suggestions for my parents. It’s something I started doing since the 2016 elections. My parents came to America from Bangladesh in the 1990s and later became citizens. My voter guide is our version of political dialogue. We don’t talk politics as a family, but that doesn’t mean my parents are apathetic. I think we just don’t have the shared vocabulary (me in Bangla, them in English) to have detailed conversations about it all. Hallie Reed, Birmingham, Ala. I would describe my parents and I as sort of unconventional Republicans. We do hold many conservative values, but we deviate from the party line on certain policies. For example, my dad owns a restaurant and often struggles to be fully staffed. He advocates for a moderate approach to immigration policy that would allow undocumented immigrants to become legal and able to work jobs that may otherwise be difficult to fill. Likewise, my mom and I are generally opposed to the death penalty, with certain, rare exceptions. We’re often in agreement on issues, but I often find myself trying to explain the reasoning behind other’s opposing views, even if I don’t agree with them. My parents seem to have a harder time seeing why those on the other side of an issue feel the way they do. People my age probably have more opportunities to communicate through social media, and therefore have a greater chance to understand each others’ perspectives. George Wylesol Karina Balan Julio, São Paulo My mother and I usually agree to disagree on political issues. She leans more toward meritocratic-right-wing ideals and I’m more of a leftist. On Sunday, [Brazil elected Jair Bolsonaro]( a far-right populist, as our next president. It’s been a deeply polarizing moment for our country and my family. Sometimes I feel like my older relatives, including my mom, are not on the same page as I am about what’s going on, which makes political conversations difficult. Our sources of information are radically different. So much misinformation has been spread through WhatsApp and suspicious websites throughout the campaigns. I’d like to be able to start discussions from similar standpoints rather than spending whole dinners just arguing about what’s credible and factual. Claire Haug, Northampton, Mass. I was raised in Berkeley, Calif., a community that generally is known for its political consciousness and strong progressive leanings. From a young age, my mother made a point to discuss politics with me and encouraged me to be aware of what’s happening in the world. My mom and I share very similar political beliefs and our conversations about politics are rarely arguments. That said, as I’ve grown older I have been trying to think more critically about my beliefs, and to ask myself whether I hold certain views because I’ve been exposed to them my whole life, or whether I truly believe in them. Going to college has probably made me more radical. These days, if I ever disagree with my mom on political matters, it’s likely because I’m further to the left than she is. George Wylesol Ebony Miranda, Seattle Though we generally agree on most broad topics, there have definitely been times when my mom has said my political actions were too radical or extreme. She didn't understand my critique of the Democratic Party during the 2016 presidential primaries, or why I started to question our two-party system as Election Day neared. She didn’t understand why I participated in marches, sit-ins and protests. But that was then. These days, she's distraught at how divided our country has become. And as the parent of a trans person, she worries about how I’ll be affected by the Trump administration. She's witnessed many political eras in her time, but she says this is by far the worst she's seen. Elia Rathore, Berlin My dad is a career diplomat and his bureaucratic experience has made him into a seasoned pragmatist. This attitude is clear in the way he discusses politics with me, his idealistic, expectant daughter. Baba often tells me I’m going to be disappointed and most of the time he’s right. I know he’s concerned that it’s naïveté, but I think it’s important to remain hopeful. Still, I am perpetually bracing for a blow. Like a lot of people engaging with international politics nowadays, both of us are looking at the States with a mixture of worry and faint optimism about the upcoming midterms. Baba has worked with U.S. government officials throughout his career, and he has always been outspoken about U.S. politics. But when I spoke to him about those same politics today, he seemed a bit exasperated by the topic. “What can one say at this point? I hope the American people find it within themselves to move forward, in a positive way,” he said. “But the way things are going, who knows.” ADVERTISEMENT HOW ARE WE DOING? We’d love your feedback on this newsletter. Please email thoughts and suggestions to [the edit@nytimes.com](mailto:theedit@nytimes.com?subject=The%20Edit%20Newsletter%20Feedback). 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His conduct when he was a student there was central to his Supreme Court confirmation battle. ADVERTISEMENT Following Up Last week, several of our contributors and people around the newsroom [wrote about making friends](. We asked you if you’ve ever struggled to make friends and if you have any advice for getting through it. Here’s what some of you said: I graduated college in 2016 and started working from home in 2017. While I don’t miss homework or having a boss, I do miss how easy it was to make friends in those settings. Now I have to go out of my way to meet new people. While I am an introvert, I force myself to get out of the house and interact with other people. The easiest way for me to do this, while not getting sidetracked from client projects, is to set up shop at my local Starbucks. Being around other people really adds a nice bounce to my days. — Kyle Elliott, San Francisco Sometimes I invite people to hangout even if I don't think we'll become best friends, and those most often are the people I have the best time with. I still long for a friend I can text at 2 a.m., someone who feels comfortable just coming into my house or who I can plan long trips with, but I'm working on forging bridges with more people and not taking it personally when things don't work out. — Coryn Rose, Baltimore Making friends as an adult with a 9-5 who struggles to eat, sleep, work, workout and keep a tidy home on a regular basis is hard! Much like Ian, my partner and I like to have big “Bring a Friend Meals.” We typically invite five people who we know well or are getting know and ask them to bring a friend of theirs that we don’t know. This results in a gathering of 12 new and old connections. It is fun and a little scary. We usually cook something like a couple pizzas and ask folks to bring a salad or dessert. Some of my friends have gone on to host gatherings like this of their own. It is a very generative experience. — Emily Carroll, Oakland, Calif. Get more [NYTimes.com newsletters »]( | Get unlimited access to NYTimes.com and our NYTimes apps. [Subscribe »]( ABOUT THIS EMAIL You received this message because you signed up for NYTimes.com's The Edit newsletter. [Unsubscribe]( | [Manage Subscriptions]( | [Change Your Email]( | [Privacy Policy]( | [Contact]( | [Advertise]( Copyright 2018 The New York Times Company 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018