Opinion Today: His mom had Alzheimer’s. Now he does, too.

She showed him that life with the disease is still worth living. [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~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)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0SxaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwNjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEyNTkyOSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNjkyNjkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmZVFT1oZgsuPINSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0SlaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYyMTM5JmxpPVRZJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1UWV8yMDI0MDYxMSZzdHBlPWRlZmF1bHQmdGU9MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwNjExVwNueXRCCmZVFT1oZgsuPINSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [Opinion Today](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0TAaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9vcGluaW9uP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwNjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEyNTkyOSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNjkyNjkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmZVFT1oZgsuPINSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) June 11, 2024 [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0SmaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTA4MDgzOSZsaT1UWSZtPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3JnA9VFlfMjAyNDA2MTEmc3RwZT1kZWZhdWx0JnRlPTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDI0MDYxMVcDbnl0QgpmVRU9aGYLLjyDUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) [Author Headshot] By Neel V. Patel Staff Editor, Opinion When Stephen Gettinger’s guest essay submission dropped into my inbox several weeks ago, I understood immediately there was something unique in what he sent me. He wanted to write about Alzheimer’s, but not as a doctor or clinical expert and not strictly as the loved one of a person who has the disease. Instead he was a patient, diagnosed last fall. He was not prepared to deal with the realities of the disease and felt scared and depressed. “Things went dark when I heard the news of my own diagnosis,” he writes. “I began planning the playlist for my funeral.” But Gettinger, a retired journalist, looked to a source of inspiration for how to come to terms with the disease: his mother, who spent decades of her life with Alzheimer’s before dying in 1999. In fact, he published [an essay](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0TlaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMTk5OS8wOC8xNS9tYWdhemluZS9saXZlcy10aGUtemVuLW9mLWFsemhlaW1lcnMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDI0MDYxMSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMjU5Mjkmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTY5MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpmVRU9aGYLLjyDUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) in The New York Times nearly 25 years ago about the experience of watching her deal with Alzheimer’s. She learned to adopt a more Zen-like state of mind, in which even small moments in the present were filled with wonder and mesmerization. Each day could still be a gift. In reflecting on these experiences, Gettinger realized his mother’s life was not over just because of her disease. It merely heralded a new chapter that would be uncertain and challenging but could still be rewarding and full of joy. In his new [essay](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0ToaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wNi8wOC9vcGluaW9uL2FsemhlaW1lcnMtbW9tLWZhbWlseS1kaWFnbm9zaXMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDI0MDYxMSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMjU5Mjkmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTY5MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpmVRU9aGYLLjyDUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) for Times Opinion, he describes his journey so far to channel the same attitude and outlook. His insight is worthwhile not only for fellow Alzheimer’s patients and their families; it can extend to all parts of life, for all people. Life isn’t a series of good times to latch onto or bad times to escape from but a journey in which we try to find happiness and meaning in spite of the circumstances we can’t control. Gettinger’s mother seemed to have learned that, and he seems to have as well. It’s something we can all learn from, too. [Read the full essay:](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0ToaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wNi8wOC9vcGluaW9uL2FsemhlaW1lcnMtbW9tLWZhbWlseS1kaWFnbm9zaXMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDI0MDYxMSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMjU5Mjkmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTY5MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpmVRU9aGYLLjyDUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0ToaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wNi8wOC9vcGluaW9uL2FsemhlaW1lcnMtbW9tLWZhbWlseS1kaWFnbm9zaXMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDI0MDYxMSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMjU5Mjkmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTY5MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpmVRU9aGYLLjyDUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~ [A white-haired woman picking long-stemmed flowers from the middle of a field. ] Joey Han Guest Essay My Mom Had Alzheimer’s. Now I Do Too. But I Learned From Her Not to Despair. A son reflects on his mother’s life with Alzheimer’s, and what it has taught him as he faces his own diagnosis with the disease. By Stephen Gettinger [Ad] [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0SkaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9NTk3ODUmbGk9VFkmbT1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkNyZwPVRZXzIwMjQwNjExJnN0cGU9ZGVmYXVsdCZ0ZT0xJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA2MTFXA255dEIKZlUVPWhmCy48g1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0SkaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9NTk3ODUmbGk9VFkmbT1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkNyZwPVRZXzIwMjQwNjExJnN0cGU9ZGVmYXVsdCZ0ZT0xJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA2MTFXA255dEIKZlUVPWhmCy48g1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) Here’s what we’re focusing on today: Editors’ Picks ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0TjaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wNi8xMS9vcGluaW9uL3BlcmlvZHMtbWVuc3RydWF0aW9uLXRhYm9vLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA2MTEmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9MTI1OTI5Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTE2OTI2OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZlUVPWhmCy48g1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD[Talking About Periods Is Taboo. So We Talked About Them. From love and pride to discomfort and hate, 10 people describe their feelings about their own periods. By Lina Lyte Plioplyte](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0TjaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wNi8xMS9vcGluaW9uL3BlcmlvZHMtbWVuc3RydWF0aW9uLXRhYm9vLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA2MTEmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9MTI1OTI5Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTE2OTI2OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZlUVPWhmCy48g1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) More From Opinion [Illustration of a torn American flag wrapped completely around a figure representing the president. 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Why higher rates are replacing inflation as the thing to hate. By Paul Krugman and Peter Coy](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0TXaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wNi8xMS9vcGluaW9uL2ludGVyZXN0LXJhdGVzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA2MTEmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9MTI1OTI5Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTE2OTI2OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZlUVPWhmCy48g1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) [A person’s silhouette is seen on a Pride flag.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0TbaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wNi8xMC9vcGluaW9uL2NvbG9yYWRvLWdvcC1wcmlkZS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwNjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEyNTkyOSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNjkyNjkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmZVFT1oZgsuPINSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~)[Michelle Goldberg Colorado’s Trumpified G.O.P. Says to Burn Pride Flags The MAGA movement tears another state Republican Party apart. By Michelle Goldberg](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0TbaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wNi8xMC9vcGluaW9uL2NvbG9yYWRvLWdvcC1wcmlkZS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwNjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEyNTkyOSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNjkyNjkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmZVFT1oZgsuPINSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [A glimpse, through foliage, of a man in a dark blue suit. ](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP4QDAWh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm55dGltZXMuY29tLzIwMjQvMDYvMTAvb3Bpbmlvbi90aGUtb25lLXRoaW5nLWV2ZXJ5b25lLWlzLW1pc3NpbmctYWJvdXQtaHVudGVyLWJpZGVucy1jYXNlLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA2MTEmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9MTI1OTI5Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTE2OTI2OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZlUVPWhmCy48g1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD)[Guest Essay One Thing Everyone Is Missing About Hunter Biden’s Case It has nothing to do with law or politics. By Patti Davis](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP4QDAWh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm55dGltZXMuY29tLzIwMjQvMDYvMTAvb3Bpbmlvbi90aGUtb25lLXRoaW5nLWV2ZXJ5b25lLWlzLW1pc3NpbmctYWJvdXQtaHVudGVyLWJpZGVucy1jYXNlLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA2MTEmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9MTI1OTI5Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTE2OTI2OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZlUVPWhmCy48g1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) [Ad] [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0SlaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MjAxODEyJmxpPVRZJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1UWV8yMDI0MDYxMSZzdHBlPWRlZmF1bHQmdGU9MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwNjExVwNueXRCCmZVFT1oZgsuPINSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0SlaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MjAxODEyJmxpPVRZJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1UWV8yMDI0MDYxMSZzdHBlPWRlZmF1bHQmdGU9MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwNjExVwNueXRCCmZVFT1oZgsuPINSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [A crowd of protesters in a park in Lyon, France, with buildings behind them.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0ToaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vbGl2ZS8yMDI0LzA2LzA0L29waW5pb24vdGhlcG9pbnQvZXUtZnJhbmNlLW1hY3Jvbi1yaWdodD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDI0MDYxMSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMjU5Mjkmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTY5MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpmVRU9aGYLLjyDUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~)[Why Macron’s Plan to Vanquish the Right Might Just Succeed The European center is holding, and Macron is hoping France will stay reasonable. By Serge Schmemann](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0ToaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vbGl2ZS8yMDI0LzA2LzA0L29waW5pb24vdGhlcG9pbnQvZXUtZnJhbmNlLW1hY3Jvbi1yaWdodD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDI0MDYxMSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMjU5Mjkmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTY5MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpmVRU9aGYLLjyDUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) [[Rescued hostages standing next to a helicopter with soldiers.] Tomer Appelbaum/Associated Press](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRoSsIVP0TkaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wNi8xMC9vcGluaW9uL2lzcmFlbC1nYXphLWhvc3RhZ2VzLXJlc2N1ZS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwNjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEyNTkyOSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNjkyNjkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmZVFT1oZgsuPINSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [letters The Israeli Hostage Rescue, and the Cost Responses to the military raid and the carnage in Gaza. 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