Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Thu, 12 Sep

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Thu, 12 Sep. We hope you enjoy them! [NewsThump's T-shirt of the week!]( [“Migrants threaten our national safety” insist politicians in country where children with access to guns accidentally kill someone every four days]( [American NRA spokesperons giving a speech] Leading Trump supporters have rallied around their leader to back his calls against the latest national security concern: migrants. The assembled officials solemnly warned the public of the immediate and terrifying threat posed by the influx of people crossing the border—conveniently overlooking the statistically much more frequent threat of small children accidentally shooting someone in [Read the rest of this story »]( [Labour claims NHS is in crisis after investigation fails to locate the 40 new hospitals built by the last government]( [Nurse looking worried] Prime Minister Keir Starmer has told the country that the NHS is in crisis because no one has been able to locate the 40 new hospitals the previous government promised to build. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Mum facing demand for peer-reviewed published evidence that face will indeed ‘stick like that’]( [child pulling a face] Mother Sally Williams has been asked for published evidence in a peer-reviewed journal that her son's face will, in fact, 'stick like that' if the wind changes. [Read the rest of this story »]( [House spiders taking the piss now]( [House spiders] House spiders across the country are starting to take the piss now, according to homeowners this morning. [Read the rest of this story »]( Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2024 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](