Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Mon, 24 Jun

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Mon, 24 Jun. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Scottish FA demands UEFA change format of Euros so top four from each group qualify for knockout stage]( [Scotland fans] The Scottish FA has today called for UEFA to revise the European Championships so that the top four from each group qualify for the knockout stages. [Read the rest of this story »]( [“The nights are drawing in now!” proclaims office tosser]( [Man in the office by the watercooler] With the summer solstice over for another year, the wanker in your office has just proclaimed that the nights are drawing in now. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Tory officials caught placing bets on how many Tory officials involved in election betting scandal]( As a fourth Tory official was placed under investigation by the gambling watchdog for effectively using insider trading to bet on the general election date, bookmakers have seen a huge influx of Tory officials gambling on the number of bottom-feeding Tory shysters who’ll eventually be caught up in the scandal. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Warmaster Horus was provoked into invading the Imperium, insists Farage]( [Warmaster Horus and Nigel Farage] The spread of the Imperial Truth right up to the Eye of Terror left the ruinous powers ‘no choice’ but to defend their legitimate interests, according to Reform leader Nurgle Farage today. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Awful prick surprises literally no one by defending Putin’s Russia]( [Nigel Farage outside parliament] Awful prick Nigel Farage has leapt to the defence of Vladimir Putin by insisting that Russian actions in invading Ukraine are ‘not that bad really.’ [Read the rest of this story »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2024 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](