Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Mon, 10 Jun

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Mon, 10 Jun. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Multiverse theory dictates there is a reality in which Labour will increase average household taxes by precisely £2,096, insist Tories]( [Rishi Sunak pointing while giving a speech] The government has today defended its repeated claims that Labour's policies will add £2,096 to the average household's tax bill over the next four years, insisting that the theory of the multiverse makes this definitely true. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Let’s just make Sir David Attenborough Prime Minister and get on with our lives, nation suggests]( [Man in a Make Attenborough Prime Minister T-shirt] With everyone increasingly tired of the various charlatans vying for the votes that would let them take control in parliament, the British electorate has suggested a novel solution. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Labour tries innovative strategy of breaking political promises BEFORE they are elected]( [Keir Starmer election pledge] The Labour Party is today turning its back on the tried and tested method of breaking political promises after being elected, by breaking one a year before a general election. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Banksy-inspired child stencils cock on desk]( [Boy sat at his school desk] A schoolchild has taken Banksy's message to heart and expressed himself through satirical artwork. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Man still not ripped despite investing heavily in a copy of Men’s Health]( [overweight man reading a copy of Men's Health] A man is baffled as to why he doesn’t have abs of steel over a week after purchasing a copy of Men’s Health magazine. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Labour plans could leave ‘the Meek’ facing enormous Inheritance Tax bill]( [Stacked bills of UK currency] The nation's meek have been left shocked at the size of their potential Inheritance Tax bill, according to reports this morning. [Read the rest of this story »]( [I was assured no one would even notice, explains Sunak]( [Rishi Sunak] Rish Sunak has defended his decision to leave the D-Day celebrations early by insisting he was told that no one would notice whether he was there or not. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Man commits fewer hate crimes in celebration of Pride month]( [Man happy to share opinion on Israeli Palestinian violence] We’re almost through the first week of Pride month and whilst the usual social commentators have been vocal in their criticisms of the celebration, it’s refreshing to see local bigot Simon Williams enter the spirit of commemorating gay pride by announcing a temporary sabbatical on his campaign of fear and intimidation against minority groups. [Read the rest of this story »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2024 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](