Learn to Listen Well to Your Child

4 phrases you could say, even if you have the best advice. Learn better. Play smarter. | [View this email in your browser]( Parenting made simpler. Written by experts. Designed for intentional parents. Learn to Listen Well to Your Child I had the good fortune and fun of joining in some school field trips recently, and amidst the bus chatter, I asked some children what they wished parents would do more of. Guess what they said? "Listen." Isn’t that interesting? I'm often asked by parents, "How do I get my child to listen?" and yet, one of the greatest things we can do as a parent or teacher is learn to listen well to them. That means listening with empathy. Listening without judgment. Listening without feedback. And perhaps the hardest of all, listening without fixing. From toddlers whose challenging behavior is just another way of communicating to preteens whose defiance is a callout for connection, children want to be heard, and often, they just want us to listen. So, we’re turning this week’s newsletter on its head and facing it towards us grown-ups. Listening to our children well can make all the difference, especially during this time of year when: - Things fatigue at school (as they move into those last units of academic learning); - Friend groups feel tricky (it’s common for children to want to explore new friendships right about now, but they may be unsure of how to let go of old friendships); or - The ground beneath feels uncertain (as talk of next year’s classes encircles). Let your child talk and offer any of these phrases: "Tell me more." "That sounds hard." "I’m here." No judging. No fixing. Even if you think you have the best advice in the world. And when they’re done talking, ask this one question: "Would you like me to just listen, or would you like some ideas to solve your problem?" This simple prompt will give your child a sense of control over their choices and show them that you want to understand their realities. Our innate desire to offer solutions may come from a wonderfully well-meaning place, but may also disempower our children from building their resilience to deal with a problem. When we increase our listening, we signal to our children: "This is hard, and I believe you can find your way through this." Keep reading below for specific topics where increasing your listening can uncover deeper insights into your child’s behavior and empower your child with problem-solving skills and coping strategies. As always, many thanks for learning and listening with us at [Plinkit.]( Charmaine Founder of Plinkit P.S., To all those celebrating the joys and reverence this April brings, Ramadan Kareem, Happy Passover and Happy Easter! May your hearts, homes and families be filled with renewed energy and cheer. What Plinkit Parents Are Saying "Today’s Lunch & Learn was amazing. Thank you for such a great session. I loved seeing everyone’s questions. I don't feel so crazy anymore!" "Thank you for helping me work through my daughter's big feelings. I can hear your voice in my head, 'It’s not personal!'" - - - - - Thank you to our Plinkit At Work partners like Netflix, Sephora and Meta for bringing parenting support and education to your families. Our masterclasses have become more than a desired perk; they’re an inclusive benefit for all families. Please [email us](mailto:hello@myplinkit.com) if you'd like to bring one of our Plinkit masterclasses to your workplace or school. LEARN + DO [How to Handle Challenging Behavior]( A foundation of techniques for connecting with your child when things get frustrating. Help your child develop self-knowledge to [self-regulate their own behavior.]( [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2017%2F09%2Fhandle-challenging-behavior%2F) [Share]( LEARN + DO [Whining - Make It Stop!]( A quick reminder of why children whine, and what you could say in your response. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2017%2F08%2Fwhining-make-stop%2F) [Share]( LEARN + DO [Tattling vs. Telling]( Logic rules to help your child navigate the difference between tattling and telling and when to involve you. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2017%2F09%2Ftattling-vs-telling%2F) [Share]( LEARN + DO [Gun Play - Understand the Myth's and Realities]( Discover where gun play comes from, why children do it and what it means. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2017%2F09%2Fgun-play%2F) [Share]( LEARN + DO [5 Foundational Practices to Implement Before Discipline]( Key behavioral practices you should implement before you get to the tipping point of discipline. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2022%2F02%2Ffundamentals-before-disciplining-your-child%2F) [Share]( LEARN + DO [What to Do and Not Do When Your Child Lies]( Action steps for when your child lies and strategies for raising an honest child. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2021%2F07%2Fwhat-to-do-and-avoid-when-your-child-lies%2F) [Share]( LEARN + DO [Anger Management - What You Could Do and Say]( Key strategies and tools to use before, during and after your child has an outburst. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2021%2F03%2Fanger-management-coping-skills-children%2F) [Share]( LEARN + DO [How to Handle Disrespectful Language and Tone of Voice]( Identify why your maturing child may be using disrespectful language and how to respond in the moment. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2021%2F05%2Frude-language-and-disrespectful-tone-in-kids%2F) [Share]( Be a Plinkit Pro Thank you for reading! This newsletter is made possible through Plinkit Pro membership support. Please consider being a [PLINKIT PRO]( if you aren't already, to enjoy access to all our expert guidance and events. No ads. 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