Newsletter Thursday, September 22, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Thursday, September 22, 2016 [Intro for September 22, 2016] [Tom Cruise/Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp] Dear Gossips, Tom Cruise has a movie coming out a month from tomorrow. It’s the Jack Reacher sequel, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back. That title. Why is that title? Because Tom Cruise still lives in the 80s. The 90s were great for him too, actually. And the early part of the millennium. We’ll come back to that in a minute. To promote Jack Reacher: Never Go Back/Don’t Try Me/You Underestimated The Wrong Guy, they’ve released a low-tech video promotional game called Jack Reacher: Never Stop Punching. And basically it’s just Tom Cruise doing what Tom Cruise does in all his movies. You know this. Even he knows this, because it’s been added to his Twitter bio: Tom Cruise runs. As [The Verge] points out though, his run technique is not entirely accurate in the game. Tom Cruise runs AT the camera and his fingers are extended, hands splayed. Donkey Kong Tom however has his fists balled together. I guess that’s how he Never Stops Punching. [Click here] to play. Then, if you’re in the mood, you can watch the [Tom Cruise running tribute] that someone put on YouTube set to Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For A Hero: he’s gotta be sure and he’s gotta be larger than life. In the 90s and early 2000s, they were. They were Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt, three of the biggest movie stars in the world. They – or we – don’t make movie stars like they used to. But these three movie stars who they, or we, made aren’t quite so heroic anymore. They went from larger than life to very, very human. What excuses do we make for heroes who became human though? Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:04 PM [The Brad Pitt investigation] [Brad Pitt] [As mentioned earlier], the LAPD denied that they were investigating [Brad Pitt] for an incident on a private plane last week during which he was allegedly drunk and verbally abusive. And then the reaction was, oh look, she’s a f-cking liar. But PEOPLE also corroborated the report. And [PEOPLE] continues to cite sources who maintain that it’s the LA County Department of Children and Family Services that’s looking into the allegations that were called in on an anonymous report. "The DCFS investigation is absolutely ongoing," the source says. "Brad has been interviewed and is cooperating fully. The case remains open." The DCFS has not said either way if they’re investigating but their policy is to refrain from confirming or denying their involvement in their cases. Both TMZ and PEOPLE have also talked to sources close to Brad Pitt who insist that Brad denies having abused his children. [TMZ] has now updated its original story, suggesting that the reason the LAPD is saying they’re not aware of the case is because they’re not the ones handling it – it’s the FBI. As we reported, the DCFS followed protocol and notified the LAPD. Law enforcement sources say the LAPD's Abused Child Unit (ACU) got the report, but determined that the Department did not have jurisdiction because the alleged incident occurred in the air, on a flight from France to the U.S. We know ... the plane landed a week ago Wednesday just before 8 PM at an airport in Minnesota. That's when eyewitnesses say Brad was "out of control" on the tarmac and even tried to leave in a fuel truck. Our LAPD sources say because the incident occurred in the air, the FBI has jurisdiction. The ACU then closed its file and referred the matter to the FBI. [PEOPLE] is now also reporting that the FBI is on it and that Brad Pitt is cooperating. An interesting new detail to emerge is that TMZ is now putting a location on this plane, saying that the incident [went down in Minnesota]. You’ll recall, TMZ had pretty tight sources in Minnesota several months ago on Prince and his death. And what’s even more important to note about TMZ’s revelation that it happened in Minnesota is that this is a detail they held back initially when they first reported that there was some drama on a plane. Because they let other outlets assume that this happened in Los Angeles, trying to find more information in the wrong place, thereby safeguarding their exclusive and giving themselves several hours of lead time to source out additional tips. Just some inside baseball for you. More to come. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:33 PM [Jared Leto to ruin Andy Warhol next] [Jared Leto/Andy Warhol ] This week in “Of Course, Of F*cking COURSE” news, it’s been reported that obnoxious dickhead actor [Jared Leto] will portray Andy Warhol in a biopic of the artist titled simply Warhol. Leto will not be pissing out this performance as he did all his previous performances, since being the Third Worst Joker ruined his [prick hole], so he will have to go to his asshole and sh*t this performance out like a little nugget of SUFFERING and DRAMA. The world anticipates an indefinite period of having to hear how Leto stapled wigs to his head or whatever completely unnecessary garbage he does to turn acting into a masculinity competition. As if there was needed any more proof that we’re living in darkest timeline, we live in the version of the universe where Jared Leto is playing Andy Warhol and not Billy Eichner. In some other, kinder universe, where everyone is happy and has a unicorn best friend, Jared Leto faded after ScarJo dropped his ass and though he tried for a second career as a rock star, no one bought it and he disappeared into obscurity. Meanwhile, Billy Eichner won his first Oscar for playing Andy Warhol, because if you’re making an Andy Warhol biopic Eichner is the only choice to play the artist. He’s a performer who understands persona and spectacle and his chosen persona is basically the physical embodiment of your frustrated teenage revenge fantasies. If that doesn’t sound like the guy who should be playing Andy Warhol, then you don’t deserve a unicorn best friend. [Source] [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:43 PM [The allegations against Brad Pitt] [Brad Pitt] [TMZ] posted a story last night about [Brad Pitt]’s alleged behaviour on a private plane with [Angelina Jolie] and their kids that supposedly went down last week. He was allegedly “wasted” and was shouting and getting “physical”. TMZ says it happened last Wednesday, at 8pm, the night before the official separation date as noted in Angelina’s divorce filing. According to TMZ, Brad was allegedly so out of it he tried to leave on a fuel truck and an anonymous tip was reported to the LA County Department of Children and Family Services and the LAPD. [PEOPLE] then followed with a similar story with their sources claiming also that there was an incident on a plane and PEOPLE specifies that it involved “one of (Brad Pitt’s) children” and that someone on the tarmac called it into Child Services. A representative for the LAPD, however, is telling [The Hollywood Reporter] that: "We have no criminal investigation that we are actively pursuing. To my knowledge, [Pitt talking to police] never happened. And right now, that is where our office is. We are not investigating any case, nor do we have any allegations against Mr. Pitt. We understand how rumors get spun up and hopefully we can put a few of them to rest. We have no investigation involving Mr. Pitt." At the time of this post, the LA County Department of Children and Family Services has not commented. PEOPLE has amended its story to reflect the LAPD’s statement but they seem to be standing by their original reporting, at post time, and their sourcing on the investigation into the situation by Family Services still stands. TMZ has yet to update their story with the LAPD’s response nor post a follow-up. If you recall, US Weekly reported earlier this week that Angelina’s decision to file for divorce was precipitated by an “[incident]”. My sources who initially told me that some major drama went down and that it was “[very delicate, a really sensitive thing]” did not want to elaborate beyond that description. I have been trying to get in touch with those same sources this morning to press again and have yet to hear back. Will post when there are more updates. But multiple media contacts have told me that a Brad Pitt response might be coming imminently. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:54 PM [Does Lin-Manuel Miranda do it for you?] [Lin-Manuel Miranda covers October 2016 issue of GQ] As Lainey would say, “picture him on top of you.” Is something happening? Are you feeling it? I mean, I’ve always wanted to share a life with [Lin-Manuel], just holding each other every night watching rom-coms, coming up with cute rhymes about our love and listening to the Hamilton soundtrack while he serenades me …BUT it’s not like he’s ever been on my Freebie Five or done anything for me in the lower regions, you know? If you were playing F-ck, Marry, Kill, he’d always be the “Marry” never the “F-ck,” right? Well, the October cover of GQ magazine was released this week and I’m re-evaluating my entire life. I’m all about this cover. Presenting our October cover star, the Founding Father of 'Hamilton' [@Lin_Manuel] [ [pic.twitter.com/KX0QyKXXtY] — GQ Magazine (@GQMagazine) [September 20, 2016] I’m ignoring the fact that he’s wearing a gold pinky ring and a necklace only Pauly D from Jersey Shore could love. Instead, I’m focusing on his hot new haircut, his slightly opened mouth and his eyes. THOSE EYES. Yep, this cover is doing it for me. Naturally, after I saw this cover I texted it to Duana, our resident Hamilton superfan and the person who introduced me to the soundtrack/ changed my life. Duana and I agree on a lot of things. This cover is not one of those things. Here is our text exchange: First, no disrespect to JC Chasez. Second, what is wrong with the navy jacket? Duana elaborated to say that the pose was also turning her off. The pose is really, really turning me on. As I learned earlier this week, [Duana is right], pretty much always so I don’t know how I should feel about us having the exact opposite reactions to the same cover. To me, LMM has the perfect personality, the most adorable laugh and he’s just a Pulitzer prize-winning GENIUS so, you know, if he looks even half decent on the cover of GQ, he can get it. And by half-decent I mean HOT AF. Duana, are we fighting? There are actual words that go along with the GQ cover. In the interview, LMM talks about the upcoming Hamilton mixtape (!!!), living in New York, his obsession with death, moving to London to shoot Mary Poppins with Emily Blunt and shares one of my favourite anecdotes, ever. It’s about when Alex Trebek saw Hamilton on Broadway. “Alex Trebek came backstage, and the first thing he said in that voice was, "Answer: This is America's favorite play." "What is Hamilton?" And I was like, "Did that really just happen? Is that how he starts every conversation?" Read more of Lin-Manuel Miranda being charming and delightful [here]. And please email/ tweet us if LMM is doing it for you because I would love for Duana to be wrong, just this once. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:33 PM [Marion Cotillard is not the one] [Guillaume Canet and Marion Cotillard] [Marion Cotillard] and [Guillaume Canet] have a child called Marcel. Marion is in a movie about married spies with [Brad Pitt] called Allied due out in November. Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt. Marion is pregnant. The easy gossip here was to assume that Marion came between Brange which is what the lower tier tabloids and even [Page Six] jumped out with when news broke that Brange was done. As I’ve mentioned several times now, [cheating is not the story] but I understand why it would be the sexy gossip story, given how Brange began and how we’ve been collectively sustained by the Triangle for over a decade. In light of the latest developments, that’s probably the preferred story too. However, again, Marion Cotillard has nothing to do with the breaking of Brange. But in reaction to mounting suspicion, Marion decided to clarify it herself on Instagram last night: [This is going to be my first and only reaction to the whirlwind news that broke 24 hours ago and that I was swept up into. I am not used to commenting on things like this nor taking them seriously but as this situation is spiraling and affecting people I love, I have to speak up. Firstly, many years ago, I met the man of my life, father of our son and of the baby we are expecting. He is my love, my best friend, the only one that I need. Secondly to those who have indicated that I am devastated, I am very well thank you. This crafted conversation isn't distressing. And to all the media and the haters who are quick to pass judgment, I sincerely wish you a swift recovery. Finally, I do very much wish that Angelina and Brad, both whom I deeply respect, will find peace in this very tumultuous moment. With all my love Marion Ceci sera la première et seule réaction que j'aurai concernant la déferlante inouïe qui à commencé il y a de ça 24 heures et à laquelle je suis mêlée malgré moi. Je n'ai pas pour habitude de commenter ni de prendre au sérieux le tas d'absurdités déversées à mon sujet mais la situation prenant une telle tournure et affectant des gens que j'aime, je me dois de m'exprimer. Pour commencer, j'ai rencontré il y a quelques années l'homme de ma vie , le père de notre fils et du bébé que nous attendons aujourd'hui. Il est mon amour, mon meilleur ami et le seul homme dont j'ai besoin. Ensuite, à ceux qui me prétendent dévastée, je vais très bien merci. Ce genre d'inventions aberrantes ne m'affecte en aucun cas. Et pour finir, à la "presse", à tous les haters, trolls et consorts qui ont le jugement si rapide je vous souhaite sincèrement... un prompt rétablissement. Ceci dit et un peu plus sérieusement, je souhaite à Angelina et Brad, deux personnes pour qui j'ai un profond respect, de trouver la paix dans ce moment tumultueux. Avec tout mon amour. Marion] A photo posted by @marioncotillard on Sep 21, 2016 at 4:43pm PDT As she said herself, it’s not really been Marion’s style to address this kind of noise. It sets a precedent, because if you make a statement every single time, it compels you to have to make a statement every single time. And the sh-tty irony of it now is that if she had waited a few hours, she probably wouldn’t have had to make the statement at all. Because, well, you know. You’ve heard. So, in happier news, Marion and Guillaume Canet, two of my longtime faves (it’s been a while since I watched Jeux d’enfants, you?), are expecting their second child. As she said quite clearly in her post, he is the man of her life. Please. Love has had a tough week. Can we just be grateful that it still there for Marion and Guillaume? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:19 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]