Newsletter Tuesday, March 13, 2018

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Tuesday, March 13, 2018 [Intro for March 13, 2018]( [Beyoncé and Jay Z for On The Run II](Dear Gossips, I got the Official Beyhive email yesterday at 10:27am. And I was ready. I’ve BEEN ready. Last time there were five of us – Amy, Duana, Lara, Sasha, and me – coordinated with our laptops and our phones, multiple phones, ready to call and refresh as soon as tickets went on sale, and still we ended up with a mishmash of seats and singles. It was OK though. We were there, in Formation. But then, at 10:27am and five seconds yesterday, I scanned the tour schedule. On The Run II is not coming to Toronto. The tour will conclude in Vancouver on October 2. Vancouver, my other home town, the only Canadian stop. Is this a test? Is Beyoncé testing me? Because now she’s not only asking for my money, she’s asking for my vacation days. Vacation days are precious. October 2 is a Tuesday. If I want to see her in Vancouver, it’s minimum two vacation days. If I get tickets in NYC or Buffalo or Detroit, it’s at least one vacation day. Pre-sale goes live tomorrow. So, basically, today I have to figure out which location I’m going to try for tickets, then push to get my vacation days approved at work (looking forward to citing “Beyoncé” on the vacation request form), and then hope I can get through online for seats. I’ve already spent an hour on the phone this morning with my credit card trying to make arrangements. If it’s a slow start to the site then, now you know why: BEYONCÉ. Always Beyoncé. Right. Enough about me. Let’s talk about the tour. Note the song that’s been chosen to accompany the tour announcement video – Sean Paul’s I’m Still In Love With You. [A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce)]( on Mar 12, 2018 at 6:55am PDT This is where the Carters are at then? How is this different from the last time they went on tour together? Let’s revisit the timeline: On her song Sorry, Beyoncé sings about how “I ain’t picking up”, presumably a reference to Jay calling her after he got busted for cheating. In his song 4:44, released last summer, Jay raps about calling Beyoncé when she was on tour but she wouldn’t pick up. In 2013/14 Beyoncé was on the Mrs Carter Show World Tour. The tour ended on March 27, 2014. Six weeks later, on May 5, 2014, Beyoncé, Jay-Z, and Solange were in an elevator after the MET Gala. We all saw what happened in the elevator. Presumably then, the infidelity happened some time between 2013 and 2014. Less than two months after the elevator incident, the Carters kicked off the On The Run tour in Miami. During that tour, she got pretty emotional on several occasions when singing Resentment, in a wedding dress, resulting in all kinds of speculation that Jay f-cked up and that she was processing her anger about it on stage. They kept toying with the idea of separation and reconciliation throughout that whole show, ending each night with a display of togetherness. Beyoncé then stayed quiet – until the release of Lemonade on April 23, 2016, confirming that Jay did indeed step out on her and this was re-confirmed by Jay himself with his own album 4:44 last year. So will On The Run II be Lemonade accompanied by 4:44? Two hours of Beyoncé telling Jay not to play himself, not to hurt himself? And reminding him that: You ain’t married to no average bitch, boy Warning him that: You know I give you life You try this sh-t again… You gon’ lose your wife Putting her middle fingers hand high waving them in his face, telling him “boy bye”? Will hot sauce make an appearance? Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:13 PM [Lakeith Stanfield is Sorry to Bother You]( [Lakeith Stanfield attends the 90th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood & Highland Center on March 4, 2018 in Hollywood, California](Lakeith Stanfield has given us many reasons to love him over the past couple of years. Aside from stealing every damn frame of every single TV show and movie he’s starred in, he also gave us this red-carpet moment that I will never forget. It was the moment I really, truly fell in love with Lakeith Stanfield. That guy? That guy’s a star. So far, however, [Lakeith]( has played the guy in the orbit of other big stars. He slayed his roles in two of the most brilliant works of the last couple of years – Atlanta and Get Out respectively— but in both projects, he’s in the shadow of Donald Glover and Daniel Kaluuya, understandably. Lakeith Stanfield has a beautiful body of work but he has yet to have his own breakout moment in a project where he is number one on the call sheet. Well, that moment is here. The trailer for Sorry to Bother You, co-starring my girl [Tessa Thompson](, is one of the most exciting trailers I’ve ever seen, mainly because it’s not at all what I was expecting. I had read a bit about how weird and wonderful Sorry to Bother You was after its Sundance premiere in January but I avoided knowing too much because spoilers. The idea of Tessa and Lakeith together is already exciting (especially after they played Monica and Chandler in [Jay-Z’s Moonlight video]() but Tessa and Lakeith in a trippy comedy by writer-director Boots Riley that already has me laughing out loud from a 2-minute and 34 second sneak peek is another level of excitement. Lakeith Stanfield plays a Cassius Green, a dude living in his uncle’s garage who gets swept up in the high-stakes world of telemarketing. Ha. My favourite bit of the trailer is Cassius finding his “white voice” with Danny Glover. After Cassius masters code-switching, his telemarketing career skyrockets. Sorry to Bother You is clearly mixing in social satire with its hallucinogenic humour. Think Spike Lee meets Seth Rogan but, you know, way better than that sounds. There were so many things in this trailer that made me squeal with delight: Tessa’s hair! Tessa’s earrings! Tessa’s entire IDGAF demeanor!! Terry Crews! Armie Hammer playing the role he was born for – a douchey, shady rich guy with a drug problem! Lakeith Stanfield finally getting his shine! I am not sorry that Sorry to Bother You is going to propel Lakeith Stanfield from that guy in everything who shuts down red carpets to that formidable leading man/comedic genius. Sorry to bring this up but he’s only 26 years old. Lakeith Stanfield was born in 1991. That is UNFAIR. Attached - Lakeith at the Oscars last week and Tessa in Miami the other day. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:48 PM [Matt and Ben join the inclusion club]( [Matt Damon and Ben Affleck ](I guess better late than never. The first person to [publicly respond]( to Frances McDormand’s call for the inclusion rider was Michael B. Jordan. Next to the party are Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, through their Pearl Street production shingle. Okay. Fine. If they want to be productive allies now, that’s fine. Let us not forget that they have [shown]( [their]( [asses]( [on]( [multiple]( [occasions]( and that they are still forming a cone of silence around Casey Affleck, but okay. You’re here now. You don’t get to lead the march, but you can pass out markers for sign-making. So what does this really mean? Well, Affleck and Damon are power producers, and their company, Pearl Street, is busy. They’ve got seventeen projects in development, including a John Krasinski project, a standalone Batfleck movie that will never happen, an RFK movie, and a television project from filmmakers Michael Cuesta and Gavin O’Connor. Taking on the inclusion rider is a genuinely good step, but it’s not clear if this is for EVERY project under their umbrella or just stuff they launch from today. For instance, let’s say that never-happening Batfleck movie actually happens, will Affleck push Warner Brothers to accept the rider on the film, since he is also producing? He’s one of their golden boys, I can’t imagine them fighting him, but you catch my drift. They’re going to have to get other producers, studios, and television networks to follow along. As [Lainey mentioned](, some are nervous the inclusion rider may prompt discrimination lawsuits. Two things are true: 1) Some asshole absolutely will try to sue over the inclusion riders, because that’s what assholes do, and 2) it won’t work. Why won’t it work? Because—and this is getting lost in the shuffle—the inclusion IS NOT A MANDATE. It is not an order to hire women and minorities to the exclusion of white men. It is a TARGET, a GOAL, something to strive toward, and there is nothing in the boilerplate language that says the suggested diversity percentages must be met. It’s basically encoding the NFL’s [Rooney Rule]( for movies, combating unconscious bias by setting an outline for more inclusive hiring practices. At the end of the day, it’s just a suggestion. But it’s one that has the power to create progress and increase representation, and someone will inevitably yell “reverse discrimination” because some people are afraid of progress. [Matt]( and [Ben]( don’t want us to think they’re afraid of progress, so they are signing up for the inclusion rider. That’s good, but it does not erase their recent mistakes. It just creates a better path forward. .[@michaelb4jordan]( Thank you for always supporting broader representation in the industry. On behalf of Pearl Street Films, Matt Damon, [@BenAffleck]( Jennifer Todd, Drew Vinton & I will be adopting the [#InclusionRider]( for all of our projects moving forward. — Fanshen (@fanshen) [March 13, 2018]( [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:14 PM [Smutty Social Media, March 13, 2018]( [Mindy Kaling out in London, March 12, 2018](“The Meghan Markle power coat” is definitely becoming a fashion subcategory, and Mindy Kaling is the queen of statement pieces (even if she’s being modest). Her TV alter ego Mindy Lahiri had a wardrobe that popped, and The Mindy Project’s costume designer Salvatore Perez said it was because they didn’t want the look to be effortless, but rather [effort-ful](. [A post shared by Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling)]( on Mar 12, 2018 at 7:46pm PDT Everyone is excited about James Blunt “burning” John Mayer re: you’re beautiful, but we are missing the important question. How did James come across John’s tweet from October 2017? He exposed his own creeping. Mate, I’ve covered this already. — James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) [March 12, 2018]( Busy deserves a selfie coffee table book – she’s really good at it! She captured the perfect moment, without great lighting, and didn’t even need to filter it. [A post shared by Busy Philipps (@busyphilipps)]( on Mar 12, 2018 at 7:20pm PDT I’m jumping on the Headless Women in Hollywood bandwagon because it is so, so good. We’ve all seen these posters, even if it didn’t really register that the woman’s heads are purposefully cut out of the photos. Happy anniversary to truly the most impressive example of [@HlywoodHeadless]( I ever found [pic.twitter.com/qGDsIR0c8K]( — Marcia Belsky (@MarciaBelsky) [March 12, 2018]( Runner-ups include: [pic.twitter.com/S1ADIEccRT]( — Marcia Belsky (@MarciaBelsky) [March 12, 2018]( Liam Hemsworth holding a puppy, do we need a reason why? [A post shared by Liam Hemsworth (@liamhemsworth)]( on Mar 13, 2018 at 9:01am PDT “Girl Jedi ruined my childhood.” (Yes I’m being sarcastic but if you read the comments on this thread – please don’t – you would see how many men are truly and deeply upset about this.) Even as the cast felt overjoyed after the triumphant premiere of [#TheLastJedi]( the guy in the upper-left corner was already silently composing a mean-tweet about how he thought the movie SHOULD have been. [pic.twitter.com/jmETR3dgD9]( — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) [March 13, 2018]( The Versace Tribute collection has done well for the brand – in fact, I think it’s given it a shot of life (which is interesting timing, considering the buzz around The Assassination of Gianni Versace). The [supermodel retrospective]( helped, too. For the Oscars, Versace dressed Lupita, Mary J. and Jennifer Garner, and for the Vanity Fair party they dressed Paris Jackson, Hailey {NAME}, Lily Aldridge and Nina Agdal. A very good showing. This year, the Met Gala theme is “[Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination](” and the co-hosts are Donatella, Amal Clooney and Rihanna. Anna Wintour will probably wear Chanel (as she often does), Amal will adhere to the theme but stay classy (she is a pretty serious red carpet dresser), but Rihanna and Donatella? They are going to ball out. And I can’t wait. [A post shared by Brad Goreski (@bradgoreski)]( on Mar 12, 2018 at 7:51pm PDT [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:53 PM [Katy Perry on Idol]( [Katy Perry performs during the Witness The Tour show at Club Ciudad de Buenos Aires on March 11, 2018 in Buenos Aires, Argentina](The American Idol reboot no one asked for premiered this week. Lionel Richie, Luke Bryan and Katy Perry make up the new judging panel. We've been writing about the strategy behind Perry's decision to do Idol since it was announced last year. In May, Lainey asked, "[American Idol needs Katy Perry but does Katy Perry need American Idol?]( Idol's rollout was a mess. Before Lionel Richie and Luke Bryan were confirmed, there were daily headlines about how no one wanted to do the show. They lost Kelly Clarkson to The Voice. Leading up to the premiere, the buzz was tempered at best and Ryan Seacrest - Idol's one true constant- [isn't exactly ABC's MVP anymore](. American Idol's success hinges on [Katy Perry](. Back to Lainey's question, yes, they needed her. Unless you're a country music diehard, you probably don't care about Luke Bryan and Lionel Richie is LIONEL RICHIE so he's going to be fine whether Idol fails or not but I don’t think he’s a big enough draw for TV audiences. It’s not like Lionel’s got a current Top 40 hit. Katy Perry is one of the biggest pop stars in the world but she's coming off of a lackluster album and mediocre tour sales. She needs this too. She needs to be personable, watchable and everything Jennifer Lopez was on Idol. She needs to be everything Mariah Carey wasn't. After two episodes, Katy Perry is not as enchanting as J.Lo but she's also not the robotic hot mess that was Mariah Carey on American Idol. Remember how good for gossip that season [with Mariah and Nicki Minaj was](? Anyway, Katy Perry on Idol is solid. The biggest thing she has going for her is her brutal honesty. Taking a cue from The Voice, Idol has decided to be nicer. They won’t show the bad auditions the show became known for. There will be no William Hung 2.0s. The Voice coaches give constructive criticism but the show is more about their dynamics and the competition to win artists over than it is about critiquing contestants’ voices. I agree that the bad auditions were a bit mean-spirited and Simon Cowell’s zingers got old real quick but the dashing of delusional dreams is what set American Idol apart. It is woven into the fabric of the show. I don’t really care about watching the first few weeks of Idol if everyone is going to be nice all the time. I’ll just flip over to The Voice, which coincidentally, was on at the exact same time as Idol last night. Katy Perry almost made me want to keep watching. While her niceness seems a bit performative (like so many other of [Katy’s personality traits](), she has enough bite to make it entertaining. She doesn’t get swayed by contestants with heartbreaking backstories. A sob story makes for good TV but it doesn’t make an American Idol. You’ve got to have the talent too. Katy Perry tells a dude who bares his soul about his abusive father that he “[hasn’t] found [his] thing yet.” She also tells another Hollywood hopeful, “You are NOT a pop star” in a harsh yet straightforward tone. Katy Perry is surprisingly really good at this. Here’s the thing: it doesn’t really matter how good Katy Perry is at judging American Idol if no one cares about American Idol anymore. I did get bored halfway through Idol and switched it back to The Voice, where Adam Levine, Alicia Keys, Kelly Clarkson and Blake Shelton are more fun, likeable and watchable than Katy Perry on her best day. Katy brings snark and honesty to Idol but she’s still not enough to make me care about the revival of a show that has been off the air for less than two years. Do you care? Are you watching? Did you see this moment? Do you think it’s as creepy as everyone on Twitter does? To me, it seemed harmless and just another one of the moments that Katy Perry looked like she was having more fun than anyone else. Is Katy having fun enough to carry an entire season of American Idol? Better question: was her $25 million contract worth it for ABC? According to [early ratings results](, the answer is a surprising yes. The ratings are strong. According to E!, the premiere gave ABC its biggest audience in that timeslot since 2012. Most of those viewers could have been tuning in for curiosity’s sake so it remains to be seen if they’ll stick around for a full season. If Katy Perry was worth ABC’s investment though, will she get what she wants in return? Does Katy’s competency as an American Idol judge translate into some more hit singles? Hey, it can’t get any worse than the [Witness era](, can it? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 4:54 PM [Jen & Justin: back in LA and NY]( [Jennifer Aniston on Instagram celebrating Molly McNearney’s birthday](Jennifer Aniston isn’t on social media – at least not publicly. She does however show up on her friends’ social media accounts. And I wonder if that’s becoming part of her PR strategy. On her birthday, several of her friends posted photos [from her birthday lunch](. Now, pretty much exactly a month after confirming that she and Justin Theroux have separated, she’s on social media again, this time celebrating Molly McNearney’s birthday. Molly’s the blonde on Jen’s left in this picture. She’s married to Jimmy Kimmel: [A post shared by aleenkeshishian (@aleenkeshishian)]( on Mar 11, 2018 at 2:02pm PDT [Jen]( looks great, right? Tanned, as usual, hair seems a little lighter. And major skin glow too. Now that I think about it, with the benefit of what we know now – you remember on her birthday, [all those Instagram posts](, by her manager and her stylist and Chris McMillan? It seemed extra at the time, right? Was it that they were all rallying? They were rallying, weren’t they? They all would have known that her marriage had ended. It was a “we’re here for you, Jen!” social media drop, maybe not as obviously coordinated as Taylor Swift’s #Taymerica social media drops but definitely in the same family. While Jen remains in LA, comforted by her circle of friends, continuing to live her LA life, [Justin Theroux]( is in New York, seen yesterday riding his bike around town, because he’s still real like that. There have been all kinds of rumours about what led to the split – the latest, from Star Magazine, which is 99% bullsh-t, is that Justin was spending too much time with artist Petra Collins. The magazine apparently built their entire story around the fact that Justin tagged Petra in a photo. So [Gossip Cop]( is calling them out. But …could you see it? Petra Collins is exactly the kind of person who’d give Justin the New York arty edgy street cred that his New York arty edgy friends claim he’s all about. You know what might be a sign though that there’s more to this Justin-Petra thing that just tabloid f-cksh-t? Jennifer Aniston and Selena Gomez [are friends](. Selena Gomez and Petra Collins are close. Or… WERE close. Selena [just unfollowed]( Petra on Instagram. Coincidence or conspiracy? [A post shared by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez)]( on Dec 6, 2014 at 12:07am PST [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:45 PM [The Jared Leto Emo Yakuza Movie]( [Jared Leto in The Outsider](The last time I reviewed a movie for which the description sounds like a random Scrabble result, it was the whimsically insane [Michael Shannon Christmas Bigfoot Movie](. That movie is a gift from another dimension. The Jared Leto Emo Yakuza Movie, on the other hand, is some kind of punishment, I’m sure. This is not a movie you watch, it’s an act visited upon you by some vengeful sprite you unintentionally insulted. Technically called The Outsider, the Jared Leto Emo Yakuza Movie commits the cardinal sin of dumb premises—it’s boring. It’s so boring there is probably a DMV somewhere in the world playing it on a loop in the waiting room. If you’re going to make a stupid movie, the least you can do is commit to the stupidity. There’s a whole sub-genre of action films that are committed to their own dumb premise, led by Road House and Point Break. Those are dumb movies that are not trying to be not-dumb, but they are trying to make the action look good, and the result is pure gold. The good news for the [Jared Leto]( Emo Yakuza Movie is that the action—all two minutes of it—does look good. (The director, Martin Zandvliet previously made the Oscar-nominated Land of Mine, about German POWs clearing a mine-ridden beach, so he knows tension effective action.) The bad news is, it doesn’t realize it’s dumb. It thinks it’s the Artsy Jared Leto Yakuza Film, and it is definitely not that. But this is why the movie is so f*cking boring, because it is taking itself way too seriously. It could have been an artsy Yakuza film if it was about Kiyoshi (Tadanobu Asano, Thor: Ragnarok), who rejoins his Yakuza family after a prison sentence only to find his family losing ground in the changing post-war economy. But it’s not about Kiyoshi, it’s about Jared Leto, his cellmate, who follows Kiyoshi to the Yakuza because he feels indebted to Kiyoshi for prison reasons. Then, for no discernable reason, Jared Leto gets SUPER INTO the Yakuza, and becomes the BEST YAKUZA, doing the Yakuza better than the life-long Yakuza, except for Kiyoshi, who also does Yakuza really good. But they do f*ck up, and ceremonially cut the tips of their fingers off to atone for it, which makes them like Yakuza blood brothers. If this seems 1) completely homoerotic, IT IS, and 2) like a vast and shallow oversimplification of the Yakuza, it is also that. The Jared Leto Emo Yakuza Movie is a Western impression of Yakuza movies, like Kurosawa by way of Wolverine comics. And if it took itself less seriously, it could be fun as that. Still kind of in bad, appropriative taste, but fun in a trashy B-movie way. But it is taking itself seriously, which leads us back to the first point—the homoeroticism. Like all unexamined tough-guy movies, the Jared Leto Emo Yakuza Movie is deeply homoerotic, which is totally fine but again, this movie is not self-aware so it has nothing to say about masculine affection in a more constrictive time and place. Really it has nothing to say at all except that Yakuza movies are cool, and wouldn’t it be neat to be in one? The one grace note of the Jared Leto Emo Yakuza Movie is that it is not, [as advertised](, a John Wick knock-off. The misleading trailer is the result of someone desperately trying to make this boring ass movie look interesting. While Jared Leto is prone to (graphic) violence, there isn’t a ton of it in this movie. Mostly it’s just Jared Leto following people around and looking like he’s trying not to fart while plot happens around him. Occasionally, he beats someone with a typewriter, but mostly he’s just walking around, for which Jared Leto is better suited than being John Wick. So the Jared Leto Emo Yakuza Movie is interminably boring and lacking any awareness, but at least it’s not trying to be John Wick. Small mercies. The Jared Leto Emo Yakuza Movie is available now on Netflix. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:57 PM [Harry & Meghan: giggling in church]( [Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge attend the 2018 Commonwealth Day service with Queen Elizabeth II and other members of the royal family at Westminster Abbey on March 12, 2018 in London, England](I’m obsessed with this video. This video is a shipper’s dream – it can’t be more than 2 or 3 seconds, a quick glance, but in that short time, there’s so much to take away. [As posted yesterday](, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle joined the Queen at Westminster Abbey for Commonwealth Service, where Liam Payne sang John Mayer’s Waiting On The World To Change. It’s an earnest song and earnestly is the only way to sing it – especially in church. Observing earnestness can be embarrassing to watch, because earnestness is such a close cousin to performed sincerity. This is probably why humanity has been corrupted, because we (and by we I mean people like me: assholes) have lost the ability to give the benefit of the doubt to one over the other. Anyway, this was Harry and [Meghan](’s reaction when Liam was done: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle react to Liam Payne's performance at Commonwealth service [pic.twitter.com/ql8PiklVsv]( — The Independent (@Independent) [March 12, 2018]( Shout-out to whoever was calling the camera shots here in the control room for zooming in on that little girl’s bored expression first, at the conclusion of the song, before then cutting over to Harry lifting his eyebrows at Meghan, who couldn’t help herself and giggled. The raising of [Harry](’s eyebrows could have meant anything. Maybe it meant that he was looking forward to the end of the service because he needed a drink. Maybe it was suggestive. Maybe he too is embarrassed by earnestness. Whatever the reason, it’s clear, these two, like all couples, can communicate without speaking, can read each other without having to say a word. It’s a silent bond in a relationship that actually depends not on romance but on friendship. Duana and I can look at each other, subtly, and know exactly what the other is thinking. Same goes for all of us on The Social. And Jacek and I have this too. You and your closest are the same. This is where we come back to the shipping. Having seen this short unspoken exchange, I’m convinced there is telepathy between Harry and Meghan, which makes me even more all in their chemistry. Here are some more photos from yesterday of the royals at Westminster Abbey. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:32 PM [Tom Brady’s TB12 method]( [Tom Brady arrives at The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, March 12, 2018](I’m pretty sure my family would only disown me over two things: 1. If I murdered someone and 2. If I became a New England Patriots fan. My family is very just and very into football. I think I could get my mom to help me bury a body but she physically recoils at the mention of Tom Brady. She loves my partner more than I do but every so often, usually during a Super Bowl, she’ll whisper to me, “We’ve got to convert him before he corrupts my grandchildren.” My partner loves Tom Brady. It’s still a mystery how he managed to win over my family at all. [Tom Brady]( was on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night. Has his smile always been this creepy? Are we sure Tom Brady hasn’t murdered anyone? For those who already dislike Tom Brady, this appearance isn’t going to change your mind. Tom Brady is promoting his book, The TB12 Method (like goop for straight, white dudes), and it’s the same rhetoric we’ve heard about Brady for his entire Bill Belichick-orchestrated career: he has a strict diet; his game is all mental; he’s disciplined. Yeah yeah yeah, Peyton Manning is still twice the quarterback he’ll ever be. But Tom eats pizza and cheeseburgers in the off season! Stars, they’re just like us! The half-decent thing about this interview is that Colbert attempts to ask some questions that would require interesting answers, like what Brady thinks of players kneeling during the national anthem, and Brady’s response is as boring as the almond milk and protein powder he eats for breakfast every morning. He essentially just says that the kneeling brought up “healthy discussions in the locker room” and that he respects all races. So, he All Lives Mattered that sh-t. A better question would have been, “Hey Tom Brady, what do you think of the fact that the league you play for still won’t hire Colin Kaepernick solely because he’s a black man standing up for what he believes in?” Brady also bullsh-ts his answer about concussions. He said he’d still let his kids play football because the sport requires discipline. I’m sure [dealing with CTE]( requires lots of discipline. Tom Brady has so much influence in the NFL and he’s pissing it away with diet tips and boring self-help books. Now, I’m mad at Lainey for making me watch this. Other highlights: he drinks lots of water. He hasn’t seen The Shape of Water. He hates strawberries. His massages are just as creepy as his smile. He even manages to not have a personality when he’s chugging beer. The most interesting thing about Tom Brady continues to be his wife, Gisele Bundchen, and she only gets a couple of quick mentions. You can watch Brady’s full segments below. Or, you know, save them for tonight right before you go to bed so they can put you to sleep. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:57 PM [March 13, 2018 – Smutty Shout-Outs]( [Mr. Darcy for Mary](“Mary - You killed it at work last year, I know you will keep building on your strengths as you master the work you do. Keep learning! And keep the intention for the dream in your mind, the one we created in the nuns' kitchen. We can do it! Happy birthday dear friend. Xo Karen” [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:29 PM [Privacy Policy]( - [Unsubscribe](