Newsletter Monday, February 05, 2018

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Monday, February 05, 2018 [Intro for February 5, 2018]( [Leslie Jones attends the 69th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 17, 2017 in Los Angeles, California](Dear Gossips, Last night was enraging – and we’ll get to that today for sure – but it was also kind of satisfying. Because much of the reaction to Justin Timberlake’s Super Bowl performance that we saw online would not have happened over a decade ago which, you could say, is progress. Those of us who’ve been hating on him forever (if you’ve been reading this blog a while now you’ve seen how, at times, this has basically been my personal mission statement) have been waiting on others to come around. It was bound to happen. In that way, Justin Timberlake doesn’t disappoint. Eventually his preoccupation with himself and his Me First life philosophy would penetrate even the most patient among us. Not everybody hated what JT did last night. But not everybody loved it. And this, 10 years ago, would have been unfathomable – especially for him. But first, we have other priorities. In the spotlight today as we count down to Chinese New Year on February 16 is the Goat. If you missed last week’s kickoff to the Squawking Chicken’s annual Chinese zodiac advisories, please click [here]( and [here](. Luck may not be flowing as smoothly for the Goat during the Year of the Dog as it has in previous years, leading to a period of unpredictability. There are 3 stars that can help you block bad luck but that doesn’t necessarily mean that things will come easy. So it’s not a year to be aggressive, especially since that Fire is so potent. Look after your liver, lungs, gall bladder, and your heart. Be careful who you trust, especially to do with your health. Be good to your body and mind what you eat and drink. 1955 Metal Goat – the luckiest of all goats this year. Career should be solid. 1967 Water Goat – be conservative in your business decisions. If you encounter work conflicts, move forward, do not add drama to the situation, and avoid risks as you proceed with your career plans. I’m thinking now about Leslie Jones who’s heading to the Olympics in South Korea. Slay, Leslie, slay. But with precision. 1979 Fire Goat – there will be mentors to help you this year. Take this opportunity to advance your career with their support. 1991 Earth Goat – your luck this year runs across your forehead. The tip from ma here is that if you have a “nice” forehead, you’re fine but if you don’t have a “nice” forehead, you should celebrate with a big birthday. The way I see it, since what constitutes a “nice” forehead is so subjective, all Goats born in this year should just celebrate a big birthday. 2003 Wood Goat – Goats born this year who have a widow’s peak should also celebrate a big birthday. Since it’s sometimes hard to tell if you do or don’t have a widow’s peak (mine seems to come and go), celebrate your birthday if you have the means. All Goats are advised to avoid romantic confrontations this year. Protect your love instead of fighting and support your partners and your friends. There is a falling/tripping alert for Goats during the Year of the Dog. At the beginning of Lunar New Year, go see your doctor for a full checkup and bloodwork as a precaution. In April and May, Goats should be wary of the swindle. Petty assholes might try to trick you. Do not trust others to do your work – don’t hand off things that you can and should do yourself – because they will fail you. Spend more time at home, with family. In May and June, the Fire will be getting hotter. So mind your health and do not rush decisions. Fire can augment poor judgment. In June and July, when Fire is at full strength, you should be extra careful. If you find that small frustrations keep getting in your way, you might want to consider removing any display items (example: porcelain statues, busts, etc) from the west and north sides of your home. (Paintings and picture frames are fine. It’s sh-t like vases, something that stands on a shelf or on the floor.) In November and December, be on alert for sabotage, especially when it comes to signing documents and contracts. If not, this could result in legal problems. Between January 6 and February 3, 2019, mind your finances and accounts. Remember, when ma gives her readings, she’s not concerned with good luck. As she has always said, nobody needs to be prepared for good luck and those who want that are getting greedy anyway. Her focus then has always been to help those who may encounter roadblocks. The Year of the Dog, for Goats, in her words, will be “so-so”. So-so, in ma’s mind, is not bad at all. It is not bad to practise restraint. It is not bad to mind your impulses and to be thorough when considering all situations. Good luck rewards the conscientious. And there is good luck to be had for Goats this year. It’s just that your luck will not come from others, it will come from YOU. It is up to you to generate it. That can never be a bad thing. On deck for tomorrow: Horse. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:52 PM [Jurassic World Redux]( [Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom trailer still ](I was not super impressed by the [first trailer]( for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, a trend which continues following their Super Bowl spot. I like the opening shot of the dinosaur shadow juxtaposed against the little girl’s toy horse—it’s dream and nightmare in one, and it screams Juan Antonio Bayona to me. This is the director of Fallen Kingdom, and if there’s any hope for this movie, it lies with him. Bayona is an emotional terrorist who knows who to elicit response from an audience (see also: The Impossible and A Monster Calls), and while I’m not at Taika-Waititi-directing-a-Thor-movie levels of hype, I am at least curious to see what Bayona accomplishes. I like that shadow-shot because it gives us a taste of what Bayona and Bayona alone can bring to this franchise. I wish the spot ended with that dino drooling over the girl’s bed. It would be perfect. But it does not end there. Like all bad things, it just keeps happening, and there is no Jeff Goldblum. The Super Bowl spot gives us some new information, which is that there is another hybrid monster called an “Indoraptor”—a slightly less stupid name than “Indominous Rex”—and apparently no one has learned a lesson yet about breeding monsters for sport in this world. This brings us to the problem with Fallen Kingdom which is also a problem for the Jurassic franchise at large—it’s the same thing every time. Jurassic Park is perfect. It’s a classic, a generation-defining film, a monumental achievement of spectacle. It’s also a one-trick concept. People create dinosaurs, dinosaurs escape, dinosaurs eat people. This is every Jurassic movie in a nutshell. Jurassic World upped the ante by introducing designer dinos, a meta commentary on the Frankensteinian nature of franchises, and if that movie was less cynical, that could have made for a really clever update. But it is cynical so it just ends up being a mean-spirited commentary on the perceived superficiality of audiences and not the one-note nature of the franchise itself. Because it is the franchise at fault here, not audiences. There is literally nothing to be done with a Jurassic movie except create a dinosaur, escape the dinosaur, eat-people the dinosaur. So far, Fallen Kingdom looks exactly like Jurassic World, which was just like the previous two Jurassic sequels, none of which manage to recreate the thrill and wonder of Jurassic Park. If JA Bayona pulls something out of this particular hat, it would be a miracle. This is a very shallow hat. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 8:55 PM [Saoirse & Timmy in Santa Barbara]( [Saoirse Ronan and Timothee Chalamet at the Santa Barbara Award Honoring Saoirse Ronan Presented By UGG during The 33rd Santa Barbara International Film Festival at Arlington Theatre on February 4, 2018 in Santa Barbara, California](The Oscar Nominees luncheon is happening right now in Beverly Hills. The photos haven’t been posted yet so we’ll have that for you tomorrow. But for sure Saoirse Ronan and Timothee Chalamet will be there. First though, last night they were together at the Santa Barbara Film Festival. Look how cute! As I mentioned last week, some of you are shipping this situation. I am not shipping this situation. Because, to me, what they have is sibling affection. They’re holding hands, skipping across the stage! None of this says sexy to me. What’s sexy though is her outfit, her style during this award season. This is another killer outfit. The topknot is excellent. The pants are excellent. WHAT THE F-CK ARE THESE SHOES THEY ARE MORE THAN EXCELLENT. And [Timmy](’s looking pretty good too. That’s a very nice striped shirt under his jacket. It’s good to see both of them going for it right now, knowing that they aren’t the favourites in their category. Experts are still predicting Frances McDormand and Gary Oldman to take Best Actress and Actor respectively. But that doesn’t mean [Saoirse]( and Timmy aren’t out here hustling. Together. It’s probably more fun this way, non? On the award circuit grind, with a friend, and someone you’ve actually worked with. Let them have this. Don’t complicate this with love! PS. If he’s “Timmy”, what’s her nickname? Duana’s going to yell at me that not everyone has to have a nickname and that that’s the beauty of a name like Saoirse. Over in the real world though, are the rest of us like… Sersh? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 8:44 PM [The Rock punches a building]( [Skyscraper trailer stills](If you’ve missed the news, Jumanji is tearing up the box office, becoming one of the [biggest movies of 2017]( (by making most of its money in 2018). As if we needed any more evidence, Dwayne Johnson is a huge f*ckin’ star who can do whatever the f*ck he wants. And what he wants to do is punch things, apparently, because two of his upcoming movies feature The Rock Punching Very Large Things. In [Rampage]( he will punch a giant gorilla, and in Skyscraper he will punch a building. The first trailer for Skyscraper was released last night, teased during the Super Bowl and then debuted in full during Jimmy Fallon’s after-show. Everyone’s comparing it to Die Hard because it’s terrorists versus A Guy in a building, but it reminds me of San Andreas, in which The Rock punched an earthquake. So, in this movie Johnson’s character is a person with an amputation. The Rock cites Jeff Glasbrenner as his inspiration: Wow! THANK U for the amazing response to our [#SuperBowl]( teaser for [#SKYSCRAPER](. Tune in tonight on [@FallonTonight]( where I’ll debut the full trailer LIVE. To quote my good buddy and real life inspiration for my character [@jeffGlas]( “Amputees kick ass!” [pic.twitter.com/Ymh5pceIkD]( — Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) [February 5, 2018]( Glasbrenner is a person with an amputation who has completed the Ironman triathlon, won a wheelchair basketball world championship, and in 2016, climbed Mount F*cking Everest. I’m not sure why Skyscraper isn’t just a biopic of Jeff Glasbrenner, because HOLY SH*T. Anyway, the Skyscraper teaser came not long after [Toyota’s ad]( featuring Canadian Paralympian Lauren Woolstencroft, which made Skyscraper look maybe a little tasteless, in the moment. But we’re going to give this the benefit of the doubt, aren’t we? Because it’s The Rock and we know he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, and all he wants to do is celebrate awesomeness all the time. Like I won’t be surprised if Skyscraper has some kind of charity tie-in with the Wounded Warrior Project. I’m probably the only person even side-eyeing this movie in the first place. Dwayne Johnson is immensely popular. He’s basically the Prom King of Hollywood. So here’s the question: When is he going to make a movie with RDJ, the Senior Class President of Hollywood? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 8:21 PM [Smutty Social Media, February 5, 2018]( [Reese Witherspoon out for dinner in LA with husband Jim Toth, February 3, 2018](Tiffany Haddish should star in a movie about Cardi B’s first bikini wax. I’m bout to wax my vagina and I’m soo fuckin scared 😰 — iamcardib (@iamcardib) [January 20, 2018]( Anyways i was only able to wax one side of my coochie cause i couldn’t handle the pain 😪My pussy looks so crazy right now ! 😩😩and im in sooo much pain Hoe😩 — iamcardib (@iamcardib) [January 21, 2018]( I couldn’t find a clear picture of Steven Tyler in the stands at the Super Bowl, but what does he have written on his forehead? Is it “Giselle” (her name is actually spelled Gisele). I don’t know any football player names, so I could be totally off. But in my mind, Steven Tyler attended the Super Bowl with Gisele’s name written on his forehead and I think that is awesome. [A post shared by Steven Tyler (@iamstevent)]( on Feb 4, 2018 at 7:09pm PST How lit was Paddy’s Pub this weekend. Birds! Birds! Birds! (And oh, hi, JT😍) [#FlyEagleFly]( [@RMcElhenney]( [@DannyDeVito]( [pic.twitter.com/3oU7WczyTH]( — kaitlin olson (@KaitlinOlson) [February 5, 2018]( Rachel Bloom did a Dirty Laundry segment with Laura Brown from InStyle. Rachel is of course charming but you get the sense that Laura Brown [doesn’t know what to make of her jorts](. [A post shared by Laura Brown (@laurabrown99)]( on Feb 1, 2018 at 7:11am PST This is the photo equivalent of a Dear Penthouse letter. [A post shared by Aaron Taylor-Johnson (@aarontaylorjohnson)]( on Feb 2, 2018 at 1:32pm PST Draper James is lowering its price point – dresses have been around $400-$600, and they will now run in the $150 range. Obviously they want to increase their sales volume. Another way to do that is to include more customers with extended sizing (Draper James currently goes up to 14/16). Personally, I’d consider Draper James if they modernized their cuts – some of the prints are great, but the styles rely heavily on fit-and-flare cuts and ruffle accents. It’s all very cinched. [A post shared by Reese Witherspoon (@reesewitherspoon)]( on Jan 30, 2018 at 10:34am PST Lindsay Lohan says she’s working with Lawyer.com, which actually isn’t the worst branding decision for her. [A post shared by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan)]( on Feb 4, 2018 at 11:17am PST Look I’m all for an ex being petty, but the reports of Bridget Moynahan shading TB are not accurate. She has [long supported him and the Pats](. Her commentary was pretty innocuous. Hmmmm I came In late .. what do you think half time score will be? [@Patriots]( [@Eagles]( [@NFL]( — Bridget Moynahan (@bridgetmoynahan) [February 5, 2018]( I hope [@brandincooks]( is ok. That hit was nasty [@Patriots]( — Bridget Moynahan (@bridgetmoynahan) [February 5, 2018]( [#NickFoles]( is having an amazing game [@eagles]( [@nfl]( — Bridget Moynahan (@bridgetmoynahan) [February 5, 2018]( Oh Kay [@Patriots]( but let’s get the [#extrapointsplease]( [#white]( — Bridget Moynahan (@bridgetmoynahan) [February 5, 2018]( Dude [@Eagles]( are looking strong. Where do you see this going? [#superbowl]( — Bridget Moynahan (@bridgetmoynahan) [February 5, 2018]( Amazing game [@Patriots]( congratulations [@Eagles]( [#superbowl2018]( — Bridget Moynahan (@bridgetmoynahan) [February 5, 2018]( Did we talk about Armie Hammer reactivating his Twitter account? He has. I guess he’s not worried about messing up an Oscars campaign anymore. [A post shared by Armie Hammer (@armiehammer)]( on Feb 1, 2018 at 1:00pm PST [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:52 PM [Come for the Lando, Stay for the Lando]( [Donald Glover in Solo trailer](After teasing it during the Super Bowl, the full first trailer for Solo: A Star Wars Story—I hate these subtitles and wish they would just let the anthology titles stand on their own—has finally been released this morning on Good Morning America. Like Rogue One, this is a Frankenstein movie, with half of it being reshot under the guidance of another director, although unlike Rogue One the studio-director relationship was so contentious that original helmers [Phil Lord and Chris Miller were sacked]( and [replaced by Ron Howard](. When that happened, I immediately lost interest in a standalone Han Solo movie, because Lord & Miller were the most interesting thing about a standalone Han Solo movie. Now, seeing the first footage from Ron Howard’s reworking of the movie, Lord & Miller were the most interesting thing about a standalone Han Solo movie. It doesn’t LOOK bad because Ron Howard is a technically proficient director who does not make films that look bad. It looks fine. There are some nice shots in here, particularly Han standing under the Millennium Falcon in the fog, the gunslinger showdown, and that gold lounge singer person looks cool. And, of course, Lando Calrissian in his fly ass fur space cape is a GREAT image. In fact, whenever [Donald Glover]( is on screen, Solo pops and I’m super into it. The problem is all the parts where Donald Glover isn’t on screen. What is apparent from this trailer is that Lucasfilm really had no interest in a Lord & Miller take on Star Wars. They’re deconstructionist comedy guys, this trailer is straight down the middle, honor-the-legacy stuff. Han Solo is a lovable rogue, so I don’t know why we’re taking this quite so seriously, but here we are with what appears to be a(nother) Star Wars heist flick where a team of scrappy rebels comes together to steal some sh*t from under the Empire’s noses. The similarity to Rogue One is not helping, because while that movie turned out fine, Han Solo is one of the most beloved film characters of all time, and I’m not sure anyone here wants to settle for “fine”. (Also, because of its Frankensteinian nature, Rogue One is unwatchable on repeat viewing. Once you know the plot, sitting through all the exposition needed to make the ending happen is impossible. I hope, at least, Solo somehow manages to avoid that problem.) Which brings us to Alden Ehrenreich. He seems fine, but he doesn’t leap off the screen the way Glover and Woody Harrelson do. That’s not usual for him, Ehrenreich made an immediate impression in Hail, Caesar!, in which he also displayed a lot of charm. Hopefully, his relatively flat presence in this Solo trailer is just down to editing, and not any kind of evidence of those rumors that Lucasfilm brought in acting coach for him. But watching this trailer, I just can’t stop picturing what it would look like with Taron Egerton as Han. And I can’t stop wondering what Lord & Miller’s movie would have looked like. And I can’t stop rewinding to watch every moment of Lando Calrissian and wishing this movie was called Lando instead. And I’m stuck with the feeling that Solo will be fine, but fine is not enough. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 6:21 PM [Bradley Cooper: a Tiger for the Eagles]( [Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk at the Super Bowl LII Pregame show at U.S. Bank Stadium on February 4, 2018 in Minneapolis, Minnesota](A lot of people last night were mentioning (or at least alluding to) Silver Linings Playbook because of Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper was at the Super Bowl cheering on his home team the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles were also part of the story in Silver Linings Playbook. There was a tailgaiting scene. They bet on the Eagles games. There are many people wearing Eagles jerseys throughout the film. So, seeing Bradley Cooper mascot for Philly was pretty hilarious. And we don’t even have to work too hard to forget that Harvey Weinstein produced that movie. Watching Bradley Cooper’s reaction to every play is my favorite part of [#SuperBowl2018]( so far [pic.twitter.com/DyCLOU0rZu]( — Lisa Hutson (@WHAS11Lisa) [February 5, 2018]( [Bradley Cooper]( was born under the sign of the Tiger in Chinese zodiac. We’ll get to the Squawking Chicken’s Tiger advisory for the Year of the Dog in a few days. But here’s an advance tip for Tigers since we’re talking about Coop. Chinese New Year is on February 16th but, technically, the previous year, in this case the Year of the Rooster, ended on February 3 and the Year of the Dog officially began yesterday, February 4th. I know this is complicated, which is why I try to avoid making the distinction every year because of the way Chinese culture combines the lunar and solar calendars, but for the purposes of this post, all you need to know is that yesterday was the first day of the Year of the Dog. And during the Year of the Dog, Tigers are luck-bringers. As in they will bring luck to other people. If you believe then, you might say that Bradley Cooper the Tiger was the Eagles’ lucky charm last night. Bradley was at the Super Bowl with [Irina Shayk](. I posted about them last week, leaving a medical building that [specialised in pregnancy]( looking happy. They’re still happy. I mean last night’s happiness had nothing to do with whatever that appointment was about. But, overall, the gossip update is that Coop and Irina are solid. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:58 PM [Black Panther in Seoul]( [Director Ryan Coogler, Actor Chadwick Boseman, Lupita Nyong's and Michael B. Jordan attend the press conference for the Seoul premiere of 'Black Panther' on February 5, 2018 in Seoul, South Korea](There were a lot of things that brought me joy this weekend, like watching [Sad Tom Brady lose]( and watching Twitter drag Justin Timberlake on [Janet Jackson Appreciation Day]( (#NeverForget). The Black Panther press tour continues to be a constant source of joy. This weekend, Lupita Nyong’o and Michael B. Jordan kicked off the global leg of the Greatest Press Tour of All Time in Seoul, South Korea. Sarah doesn’t think I’m going to survive the Black Panther press tour. I don't think [@KathleenNB]( is going to survive the Black Panther press tour. I think she might die from lack of oxygen. // [@LaineyGossip]( — Sarah (@Cinesnark) [January 30, 2018]( Considering I threw my phone across the room and screamed at this photo of [Lupita]( and MBJ arriving in Seoul, she’s not wrong. I may survive but my phone may not. [A post shared by Lupita Nyong'o (@lupitanyongo)]( on Feb 4, 2018 at 6:09am PST I mean, HOW CUTE ARE THEY? They look like newlyweds who just touched down for their honeymoon. COME ON. I don’t like imagining [Michael Bae Jordan]( with anyone else but if he has to be with anyone other than me, I’d only be OK if it was Lupita. If you were watching their Instagram stories all weekend, (if you weren’t, fix your life), you know that their dynamic is more like brother/sister than passionate, undercover in-love co-stars but I don’t care. They look so ridiculously good together they should get married for the pictures alone. Is your heart still beating? Do you need to be resuscitated? Just me? [Chadwick Boseman]( and [Ryan Coogler]( were in Seoul too. It wasn’t just a romantic getaway for Lupita and MBJ. At the presser, Chadwick and Ryan looked equally dapper (goddamn) and they offered more insight into why Black Panther is so special. When a [Korean reporter]( tried to compare T’Challa and Eric Killmonger to Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X, Chadwick shut it down with a classy response. "I understand [this observation] from an emotional standpoint and in terms of [the characters'] demeanor standpoint but not in terms of philosophy… Wakanda didn't have to deal with colonialism and slavery because of its isolationism, whereas Dr. King and Malcom X had to deal with these issues. [Black Panther and Erik Killmonger's] reality is not at all dictated by European white society. These two characters exist in their own mythology. Also, Malcom X was never as militant, as ruthless as Erik Killmonger." Their “reality is not dictated by European white society.” No spoilers but this statement is a key component to why Black Panther is so incredible. Wakanda has never been colonized. The country’s struggles are not in reaction to tyranny or systemic persecution. This movie is not about oppressed black people, like so many others are. And comparing Malcolm X to villainous Eric Killmonger is an insult that Chadwick could have brushed off. The MLK Jr. comparison is also a stretch but instead of blowing off the question, Chadwick gave a thoughtful, intelligent response that captured the essence of Wakanda. THIS is how you sell a movie. Wakanda Forever. Black Panther Press Tour Forever. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:32 PM [Sit DOWN Tony Stark]( [Avengers: Infinity War trailer stills](Avengers: Infinity War aired a spot during the Super Bowl which is mostly rehashed from the [trailer]( we saw late last year. But there were a few seconds of new footage, so let’s talk about that. The money shot is Captain America standing next to T’Challa and arming his new, Wakanda-designed “shield”. It kinda-sorta looks like the arm shooters Princess Shuri sports in Black Panther, which I assume means Steve Rogers has been adopted into the royal family of Wakanda. So, basically, Tony Stark was like, “You’re not welcome in my clubhouse anymore,” and Cap was all, “I live in Wakanda now.” There is no comeback. Another little bit of new footage is Iron Man blowing through some magic sh*t Doctor Strange is doing, which is RUDE. These two have a fun frenemy vibe in the comics, and it seems that is coming over to the movies, which is great. But this moment also a perfect distillation of a decade of character-building. That one shot tells you everything you need to know about Tony Stark—he simply cannot let anyone else solve a problem. The timeline in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is all f*cked up—thanks, Spider-Man: Homecoming and your continuity blip—but by the time Infinity War is happening, several years have passed since Doctor Strange gained his powers. We’ve seen what he can do with time, and Thor: Ragnarok gave us a little taste of how facile he’s become slinging magic. So maybe, JUST MAYBE, Iron Man could sit down for one f*cking minute and let the ACTUAL MAGIC PERSON solve a problem with ACTUAL MAGIC. My predictions for Infinity War stand as follows: It will have a lot of great character beats and group interactions but cannot help but feel a little bloated. (Recently Duana caught up with Captain America: Civil War and she mini-ranted that it’s all sub-plots and no character development. I don’t agree, but if that’s a problem for you in Civil War, I don’t see it getting better in Infinity War.) After the high of Black Panther, Infinity War will feel like a bit of a letdown. There will be some combination of time travel and Tony’s memory-recreating BARF tech from Civil War taking us back to the events of the first Avengers. Tony Stark will continue to completely disregard the expertise of others, thus creating more problems that other people have to solve because despite at least a decade passing in the MCU, this is the lesson he refuses to learn—OTHER PEOPLE ARE SMART, TOO. God, sit DOWN, Tony. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:01 PM [Justin Timberlake: the Prince of Average]( [Justin Timberlake performs onstage during the Pepsi Super Bowl LII Halftime Show at U.S. Bank Stadium on February 4, 2018 in Minneapolis, Minnesota](Remember when Justin Timberlake claimed a few weeks ago that he and Janet Jackson worked things out and that he just never talked about it [out of respect for her]( Bullsh-t. Yesterday was #JanetJacksonAppreciationDay on social media. And of course it was timed specifically to remind Justin Timberlake that many of us will #NeverForget. You know who celebrated #JanetJacksonAppreciationDay? Janelle Monae. My screensaver for the last 4 years to remind me of her GREATNESS daily . I am because of the doors she opened and the risks she takes ! [#JanetJacksonAppreciationDay]( [pic.twitter.com/zvXc9HaaHu]( — Janelle Monáe, Cindi (@JanelleMonae) [February 4, 2018]( And it’s not like Janelle Monae wouldn’t know exactly why #JanetJacksonAppreciation Day was started in the first place. So, maybe, not everyone in the industry is up [Justin Timberlake](’s average ass. But before we get there, let’s stay with Janet for a minute, and go back to how JT said that they supposedly made peace. Here’s what Janet posted on Saturday, the night before the Super Bowl, to address all the rumours that she would join JT on stage during halftime. “I will not.” Sure, you can’t read tone in text but…the punctuation that precedes those three words is tone. I will NOT. And then she thanks people for their support. And signs off. If things were chill between Janet and Justin, and if Janet wanted us to stop demanding #JusticeForJanet and if she was interested in absolving him, she could have offered a few words to wish Justin good luck, something to back up what he claims happened – that peace was made between them. Janet did no such thing. And the fact he tried to convince us of it is another example of how JT has continually, and egregiously, over the course of his career, misrepresented artists, and black artists in particular, for his own personal gain. Which brings us to last night and [Prince](. (Which came after he had the f-cking nerve to sing the song that he sang when he was on stage with Janet as her guest, the song that they were singing during the “wardrobe malfunction”. The wardrobe malfunction that resulted in her career getting torpedoed and his ascending to the point it is now. #NeverForget) When Justin Timberlake released SexyBack, Prince asked the crowd, cheekily, during a performance: “For whoever is claiming they are bringing sexy back, sexy never left!” A few months later, at the Golden Globes, Justin presented the award for Best Original Song. Prince won but he didn’t bother showing up, possibly because he knew who would be presenting. This is how Justin decided to honour Prince… …by MOCKING HIS HEIGHT. Later that year, on Timbaland’s song Give It To Me, Justin sang these lyrics: We missed you on the charts last week Damn, that’s right you wasn’t there Now if se-sexy never left… Then why is everybody on my sh-t? Don’t hate on me just because you didn’t come up with it. And now he’s declaring himself to be Prince’s biggest admirer? F-ck you. By now I’m sure you’ve read Prince’s interview with [Guitar World]( when he said he thought virtual performances were “demonic”. Over the weekend there was a lot of talk back and forth about a Prince “hologram” and now there’s even more talk about how what we saw last night wasn’t actually a “hologram” but a projection, which is how they’re rationalising what happened. On a f-cking technicality of vocabulary. So we’re lawyering this sh-t now? Any time you have to argue anything on a technicality, you know you’re in trouble. Any time you have to justify an artistic decision on a technicality, it compromises the very spirit of the art. But we don’t even have to go there, on technicalities, to know that Prince would have never approved of this sh-t. You know why? Prince wouldn’t even allow his footage [to be shown on YouTube](. He went to great efforts to have his performances scrubbed from YouTube – and it was annoying for a lot of people, even his fans! – so WHYYYYYY would an artist like Prince ever be OK with seeing video of himself blowing in the wind on a goddamn sheet…at the request of another much lesser artist who has repeatedly disrespected him in the past!? Beyond that, you don’t have to have encyclopedic knowledge of Prince and his career to understand how Prince would have felt about last night. Prince had an ego. It was enormous. Prince thought of himself, quite rightly, as a legend. Would Prince, a legend in his mind and of our time, agree to be a “guest” on the stage of someone whose accomplishments come nowhere near to his own?!? Would Prince agree to appearing for 30 seconds to jerk off Justin Timberlake’s reputation? Would Prince agree to show up in the middle and disappear so that someone else can take the glory? PRINCE?!? REALLY!? There is no way that would have happened if Prince were alive. Which is why Justin Timberlake was able to make that happen. Because he’s dead. And he can’t do anything about it… or so we think. If anyone can come back as a ghost and take a purple sh-t on someone, it would be Prince. Justin was interviewed by Jimmy Fallon following the game. Per [THR](: Justin Timberlake explained why he wanted to pay tribute to Prince during his Super Bowl halftime performance later Sunday night. Appearing on NBC's The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon, Timberlake didn't directly address the criticism surrounding the tribute, but did explain why he wanted to incorporate it into his performance. "It's a moment for me, and if I'm being quite honest, it's because he's always been the pinnacle of musicianship," Timberlake said. "And when we decided that the serendipity and synergy [of being] in Minnesota — he's such a special thing here aside from what he is all over the world. I just felt like I wanted to do something for this city and something for him that would just be the ultimate homage to what I consider the GOAT [Greatest of All Time] of musicians." He also noted that Questlove, who is Fallon's bandleader, approved of the performance. "Questlove is the encyclopedia on music, but I also feel like a gatekeeper on Prince, so if I got the thumbs-up from Questlove, I'm good," he said, to which Questlove responded: "Yeah, it was good." Questlove, Pharrell, Timbaland, Janet Jackson – this is how Justin Timberlake has always operated: he uses – exploits – the achievements and the reputations of black artists to legitimise his entry. He pulls that card at the door, they invite him in, and he proceeds to piss all over the party. This is what he’s done here to Questlove. Who works for NBC. On NBC. So don’t be mad at Questlove, be mad, again and always, at Justin Timberlake. Who will skulk into the room behind people who’ve worked harder and worked braver than he ever has – and then proceed to rise higher than they ever have by simply being mediocre. Isn’t that what his Super Bowl performance was? Average? It started out average, in a shitty room below the stadium as he sang his new average-at-best song Filthy. His dancing was average and we now need to stop pretending that his moves were ever that fresh. His vocals were average, when he was actually singing. To be fair though, the audio at a Super Bowl is never great. The Verge did [a great interview]( with Patrick Baltzell who’s designed the audio for the last 19 Super Bowls and other major shows and it’s a fascinating read about the sound work that goes into a show. As Patrick explains, the venue for the Super Bowl is set up for a football game, first and foremost. So the audio will never be up to the standards of a proper concert. The best you can hope for is 80%. Some lipsynching will happen. That said, women get trashed allllll the time for lipsynching. Justin Timberlake was barely singing through much of the performance. At times, he didn’t even bother properly mouthing the words. Does he get a pass on that? Does he get pass for singing to 60%, at best, and very, very average? Sure, why not. Isn’t this what we’ve been doing for the last 10 years? Rewarding Justin Timberlake for average? Even if you’re not a JT hater, you can’t deny that what he gave you last night wasn’t memorable. The staging wasn’t memorable. Having people holding up mirrors during Mirrors (genius!) wasn’t memorable. The energy wasn’t memorable. And, frankly, the most memorable moment came at the very end, during his “Super Bowl selfies”, with the boy who became the meme. HE was memorable. The actual star of the f-cking show? Not all that memorable. Except for the outfit, maybe? A camo suit with a wilderness shirt and a bandana tied around his neck, as if you could forget that he’s a Man Of The Woods now. Exactly the kind of man who would buy a Ram truck because he watched a commercial with MLK’s voice telling him how he could make America Great Again. How? By celebrating the average while repeatedly ignoring the exceptional. But maybe that’s changing. Justin Timberlake released a new album on Friday. The album is receiving the worst reviews of his career. Nobody’s giving it 0 stars but the consensus from some of the most high profile critics who’ve been complimentary of him in the past seems to be that what used to work for Justin Timberlake isn’t working anymore. This is a guy who’s used to having his dick sucked by everyone. And suddenly, in 2018, some people are starting to refuse to play that game. Does that mean Justin Timberlake will finally change HIS game? Or will he keep coasting… the way he always has? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 4:21 PM [Pink’s Flu Game]( [Pink performs the national anthem prior to kickoff of Super Bowl LII between the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles at U.S. Bank Stadium on February 4, 2018 in Minneapolis, Minnesota](In 1997, Michael Jordan (the OG one, not Bae) played in Game 5 of the NBA finals [with the flu](. It’s one of the most iconic games in NBA history. Jordan was so sick and physically drained, Scottie Pippen literally had to hold him up. The moment has become so legendary that in every NBA finals, highlights from Jordan’s flu game are replayed on loop, with announcers using words like “clutch,” “relentless” and “heroic” to describe his performance. Super Bowl Sunday was Pink’s Flu Game. Before you @ me, let’s make it clear that I’m not calling Pink the Michael Jordan of pop music but you could argue that one of the biggest honours in American music is being asked to sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl. So, this is her equivalent of the NBA finals. If she sounded like sh-t, she would’ve been maligned like Christina Aguilera. If she nailed it, she would have been immortalized as one of the great anthem singers like THE GREATEST, Whitney Houston. Pink knew what was at stake and so she made sure to let us all know she had the flu. On Saturday, she posted on Instagram that she was “trying to practice the flu away.” [A post shared by P!NK (@pink)]( on Feb 3, 2018 at 12:37am PST She automatically gets points for paying respect to Whitney. She also kind of gets a pass no matter what, right? I have no doubt that [Pink]( absolutely had the flu. Being sick is the f-cking worst. When you actually have to get up and do things, it’s horrendous. When you have to get up and sing on national television? That sounds like a god-awful nightmare. I did feel really bad for Pink and I’m not trying to downplay her illness but making it known before the performance that she was sick was strategic. It was really f-cking smart and I’m not mad at it. The dramatic way Pink spat out her throat lozenge right before she started singing really drove home the theatrics of Pink’s Flu Game. The lozenge spit was like when MJ was bowled over with his hands on his knees right before he went on to score 38 points. Am I taking this comparison too far? Probably. If anyone at your Super Bowl party was arguing that it was gum Pink spat out, she clarified that she was, in fact, spitting out a throat lozenge. It was a throat lozenge — P!nk (@Pink) [February 5, 2018]( Of course she was. See above narrative. Again, I’m not mad at it. Today, all of the commentary surrounding Pink’s performance is about how incredible she sounded even though she had the flu. And she did sound really good for someone battling being sick. Pink is a great singer. We know this. The Star-Spangled Banner is a hard song. Add the flu into that mix and you got Pink’s solid but shaky performance. One thing Pink usually brings to her performances is unwavering confidence. Last night, she seemed a bit rattled – understandably. And still, she sang her ass off, even though she didn’t quite hit that high note at the end. Pink came through in the clutch. In 20 years, we’ll just blame that missed note on the flu. INCREDIBLE.[@Pink]( sings the National Anthem at [@SuperBowl]( LII! [#SBLII]( [pic.twitter.com/xWgACgwNib]( — NFL (@NFL) [February 4, 2018]( [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:23 PM [Uma Thurman’s Story]( [Quentin Tarantino, Uma Thurman and Harvey Weinstein at the after-party for Miramaxs' 'Kill Bill Vol. 2' at The Ivar on April 8, 2004 in Los Angeles, California](We knew she had one. Since the red carpet interview where [she said]( “I’ve been waiting to feel less angry. And when I’m ready, I’ll say what I have to say.” Then came her [Thanksgiving Instagram]( promising, “Stay tuned.” Well, she’s ready, because Uma Thurman has given an interview to Maureen Dowd of the New York Times about her experiences with Harvey Weinstein, and also [Quentin Tarantino](. The story has all the now-familiar hallmarks of Harvey Weinstein—the bathrobe, the hotel room, the conveniently disappearing assistants. (He’s [threatening to sue her]( over the allegation but you know he f*cking won’t.) It’s the horror we’ve come to know over the last few months which has been Uma Thurman’s reality for years (has been so many women’s reality for years). Uma Thurman, an indie darling propelled to stardom by Weinstein’s all-powerful hand, was also one of his victims. At this point, it’s not surprising. It’s no less shocking. But with Tarantino it’s a different kind of hallmark—the hallmark of the tyrannical director. The story Thurman tells of Tarantino is not one of sexual assault, but of emotional betrayal and physical endangerment. Back when the Weinstein story was first breaking, Tarantino [apologized]( for his complicity in the silence that protected Weinstein, and there was mention of an unnamed actress whose story Tarantino knew, but hadn’t gone public yet. [Uma Thurman](? Probably. Because according to her, he knew Weinstein assaulted her and yet still expected her to work with Weinstein on Kill Bill. For that betrayal, Tarantino has apologized (though he still has not indicated what he, personally, intends to do about making the industry more hospitable to the women with whom he collaborates). He has not, however, apologized for endangering Thurman’s life on the set of Kill Bill. This is a typical tyrannical director story—seeking the Perfect Shot, a director forces an actor into a dangerous situation. In this case, Tarantino made Thurman drive the convertible in Kill Bill despite being warned the car wasn’t safe enough. She had to go 40 MPH so her hair would blow just so, in a car with an unsecured seat on an unpaved road. The stunt guys weren’t confident in the conditions. A teamster warned her it wasn’t safe. Tarantino demanded it anyway. You can watch Thurman terrifying ride [here]( (video half way down). After, Tarantino seems concerned. There’s no sound, so we don’t know what is being said, but he seems solicitous, as someone holds her head steady and someone else fetches water. And when she gets out of the car, Thurman is smiling. She must be fine! Everything is okay! Well of course she’s smiling, she can stand up. She refers to her “screwed-up knees” and “damaged neck”, so that crash left her with permanent damage. But hey, Tarantino got his Perfect Shot, with her hair blowing just so. You know what’s a cute obsessive director story? Wes Anderson staying late to paint sets the particular shade of salmon he mixed himself (The Royal Tenenbaums). That’s dedication to craft. You know what isn’t cute? PHYSICAL ENDANGERMENT. That isn’t dedication to craft. That’s irresponsibility. I’ve said it before but I will repeat it: There is NO EXCUSE for endangering a person on set, ever. Of course, accidents will happen. Sometimes, you plan and you practice and you prepare, and still, [Tom Cruise smashes into a building and breaks his ankle](. But a director demanding an actress drive a vehicle deemed unsafe is not an accident. That’s a choice. Tarantino was reckless with Thurman’s safety because his shot was more important, never mind that truly great directors innovate around obstacles. And we’re not even getting into the weird sh*t about Tarantino choking and spitting on Thurman from off camera—that makes two actresses on record, following [Diane Kruger](, about Tarantino choking them for a Perfect Shot—or the weird echo of Thurman’s crash in Deathproof, in which, ironically, Rose McGowan’s character [slams into a windshield](. Basically, if I’m Margot Robbie (scheduled to work with Tarantino on his upcoming 1969 project), I’m going into my next meeting with a LOT of questions about what will be done regarding my personal safety on set. We need to address the sexual harassment/ assault problem in the film industry, yes, of course. But we also need to address the more common, widely tolerated forms of abuse that happen on set and throughout the industry. Tyrannical directors endangering people for the Perfect Shot should be interrogated, so should executives chucking staplers at assistants’ heads (it happens). No movie is so important it’s worth anyone’s safety. Tarantino has apparently apologized to Thurman—he gave her the crash footage after she lobbied to see it for fifteen years—but it would be nice to hear from him how he intends to change his process to account for the safety his talent, particularly his actresses, for whom he has demonstrated such little regard. [Source]( [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:21 PM [Privacy Policy]( - [Unsubscribe](