Want better copy? Stop writing like you speak

+ real-life before/after copy example [View in browser](=.oWAo4xeKZ2sFW-5Jp_2wrpb6I2eW4nDQ1KmqaKCiFAE) Actually, this could be the shortest email you'd have ever gotten from me. Because if "write like you speak" was good copywriting advice, this would mean that everyone who can speak can write good copy. K, bye, see you next week. But joking aside, it's obvious that "write like you speak" works ONLY IF you speak WELL. At least theoretically. Practically though, even if you attended a speaker training, were a school debate team captain, and won a public speaking contest, it still doesn't mean that you can write good copy. ❌ Exhibit A: Don't-do-it-like-this "write like you speak example" 👇 You Have a Money-Back Guarantee for One Full Year That’s correct. You risk nothing. I guarantee my program will get you the results you seek, or it will cost you nothing. If you are not satisfied for whatever reason, you get all your money back within 365 days of purchase. I can totally imagine the program creator saying this to a prospect in person. With passion in his voice, maintaining eye content, and vividly gesturing. "Shut up and take money!", the prospect replies. And they both live happily every after. BUT! That's not what would happen if the same prospect read the same words on your website. Then, the prospect would ask themselves: - Who's this "I"? - Do I trust their expertise enough to buy "their" program? - Why are there so many words for something that simple as money-back guarantee for a year? Is there a catch? If the rest of the page is to-the-point and does your offer justice, they still might give you their money. But if you wrote it all like you speak...😱🤦😭 #noMoneyForThisBunny #noSaleForThisSnail [Writing like you speak example.] So what to do instead? Write like you speak... - if you had a day to prepare - and your prospects would slap in the face you the second they get bored Or just take your first "write like you speak" draft and: - Remove every word and phrase that doesn't add value (you know it when you remove it but the meaning of the sentence doesn't change) - Remove anything that repeats a point you've already made in this section - See if you can rephrase parts of the sentences to shorten them. The usual suspects: adjectives, adverbs, and phrases with prepositions (ex.: "homepage of your website" -> "your website homepage") Let's look at our improved example. ✔️ Improved example 👇 One-Year Money-Back Guarantee That’s correct. You risk nothing. If you aren’t satisfied with the results of this program, you’ll get your money back within 365 days of purchase. The program creator in question is a client I'm reviewing the copy for this week. I know how he talks, and the improved version still sounds like something he'd say in an in-person conversation. With passion in his voice, maintaining eye content, and vividly gesturing. But now, every word has a purpose. Even "That's correct", which doesn't have to be there for the facts. But it's there for the tone of voice. Even "365 days", which sounds more impressive than a simple "year" and helps us avoid saying "year" again. Final words of wisdom Although slightly wordy copy here and there is usually not a big deal, this "write like you speak" obsession where you: - use 5 examples where 3 would suffice - use 4 adjectives where one would do - repeat the same point over and over again (even if you use different words), and what not ...will undermine your sales. It bloats your pages => buries your message => wastes the time of your prospects. Don't write like you speak. Write like you speak if you had a day to prepare and if your prospects would slap you the second they get bored This would be all from me for the week. Autunnly greetings from Germany🍁🍂🌧️ Gill 🌐 [Get feedback on your website](=.6uGfFHE7YxED9h9VMh-YYbS_ogMCyVs2ZeweBhhuvso) | ✍️ [Get new copy](=.A3msveqQmg1yxwie4c4BoEPGkG-jUvYTEsAoQGlooM8) | 🖥️ [Find your value proposition](=.PiuDi4Ya-Tya6EEd82wGWI79qf_6p85KPyhxggyuku8) P.S. This email may contain typos, and I'm fine with them because cloning humans is, unfortunately, still impossible. Spending more time proofreading my emails would mean I'll have to share fewer tips with you. And sharing more and better tips is more important to me than sharing tips that are grammatically perfect. I hope that's fine with you, too. 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