The Right Way to Set Up Family Rules

How to Set Up Family Rules That Actually Stick [Fatherly](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/1Ghqn_Hr-OhBYsySDr4_Ql46VKE=258) From the basic black-and-white groundwork of morals and ethics to more specific family-driven goals, it’s up to us as parents to define the trajectories we want our kids to follow — and just as importantly, to stay the course on an everyday basis. That’s why establishing family rules is so crucial. But if you’re not careful, the guiding principles can easily become ineffective. Here’s what to know about creating good family rules and how to enforce them properly. PARENTING %2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fhow-to-set-up-family-rules%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/kwBZwZGzn8-sC49-N32-pPNgO10=258 [How to Set Up Family Rules That Actually Work](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fhow-to-set-up-family-rules%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/2/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/h1sasXl4hZXsazC1NwtptN4eEJU=258) The right family rules are powerful tools. [But you need to enforce them with consistency and kindness.](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fhow-to-set-up-family-rules%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/3/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/g76c5ojy96JVLmx7W0FRh_1WceQ=258) [READ THE STORY](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fhow-to-set-up-family-rules%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/4/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/WSQ2JN1N-U2gfUbBYnEp9UG3lTU=258) TIPS AND TRICKS A Rule to Consider: Use Fewer Words This isn’t for the kids. You want them to talk. This is for you. Because, per says Dr. Laura Kastner, a family and child psychologist and author of Getting to Calm, the Early Years, adults talk way too much — like 80 percent too much. What happens is that they end up babbling and a 5-year-old says something like, “I hate you,” sidetracking the conversation and getting out of any responsibility. Using fewer words helps that. But the rule also applies to praise. “Good job” means nothing said once. Said constantly, it means even less. The best practice is to save compliments for stuff kids have been struggling with. Has your child gotten better at buckling in? Say: “You really figured out the seat belt. I’m impressed!” This is concrete and specific. It shows your kid that you’ve been noticing their effort. FURTHER READING - [24 Family Mottos That Help Guide Parents and Children](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Ffamily-motto-examples%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/1IbFcPmo1Ostc-8gUlUAudFpbp0=258) - ​​​​​[5 Common Parenting Discipline Results](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fparenting%2Fcommon-parenting-discipline-mistakes%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/ILuB2jQ1AlFQguroDpK01OgzpFk=258) - [What to Do When You’re Too Hard on Yourself](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fself-compassion-exercises%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/GXiGi7483r9jVJIEZnYomxM2GYM=258) HEALTH %2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth-science%2Fbutton-battery-ingestion-danger%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/U1J6WI9mAI29qIrB9ki8luu0Kik=258 [Why Parents Need to Worry About Button Batteries](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth-science%2Fbutton-battery-ingestion-danger%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/2/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/CUGG34__jK4l_CdMM5XFq3l_S-M=258) When ingested, they do way [more harm than a bellyache.](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth-science%2Fbutton-battery-ingestion-danger%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/3/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/TnG5JlglSo0DEOCnXiOnXiy8_jo=258) [READ THE STORY](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth-science%2Fbutton-battery-ingestion-danger%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/4/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/qBTPdQ0i4VSZc8F_G8QR-uMLhFs=258) PLAY %2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fplay%2Fsesame-street-roy-kent-crossover%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/pf6mdiskpV2KqVVdpS43OuTfjqk=258 [Roy Kent Is Crashing 'Sesame Street'](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fplay%2Fsesame-street-roy-kent-crossover%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/2/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/rPz2rnuIwxGzSG1IaIPJCHU3Y5k=258) Ted Lasso's Brett Goldstein is hanging with Elmo and the gang. [Here’s when — and how — to watch.](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fplay%2Fsesame-street-roy-kent-crossover%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/3/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/v3_l4NmjEIwsZy-LvKcThLnOZR8=258) [READ THE STORY](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fplay%2Fsesame-street-roy-kent-crossover%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/4/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/F_A_vOyBFUggyyA_ORjuYYhsMkE=258) INTERVIEW %2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fplay%2Fchris-garcia-comedian-raffi%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/DD_Q5r0EKpBQt3WoSGqnLKLS4XA=258 [A Comedian, A Toddler, and Raffi Walk Into a Bar …](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fplay%2Fchris-garcia-comedian-raffi%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/2/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/PH1m4xAiuoj0FwbqLfG3GtMUs30=258) What happens when a rising star in standup comedy brings an infant into this world? [He goes out in search of Raffi.](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fplay%2Fchris-garcia-comedian-raffi%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/3/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/QXnid_x1oCaeUT--wpQkfFNk4dY=258) [READ THE STORY](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fplay%2Fchris-garcia-comedian-raffi%2F%3Futm_campaign=22234%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/4/0100017f1e03b2b1-17e0f88b-d10d-4569-8e6a-46ad087cf6d8-000000/w0lX7rd8oY81ipzDAGjDeCMtWBU=258) You're receiving this email because you signed up to receive communications from BDG Media. 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