The Phrases Parents Should Tell Their Kids More Often

Plus, 5 Tips to Stop You From Taking Things So Personally [Fatherly_Seahorse]( Vulnerability is an unavoidable part of parenthood. When you become a parent, like it or not you come face to face with your flaws and weaknesses on a regular basis. As important as vulnerability is, though, many dads struggle to intentionally express it with their kids — largely for reasons that trace back to old notions of masculinity. Whether you don’t want to let your kids down or you simply feel awkward sharing your emotions, it can be tough to display sensitivity in your relationships. But it’s a vital skill for both you and your family. PARENTING [vulnerable-with-kids]( [How to Be Vulnerable with Your Kids]( It’s normal to feel a little weird when you break social norms and stereotypes about your own vulnerability. [But this shouldn't stop you.]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS Two Phrases Parents Should Say to Their Kids More Often - “I Don’t Know” The power of “I don’t know” is that it is a launch pad for showing kids the power of research, learning, and curiosity. It’s a gateway to developing a shared understanding of the world, one Google search or library trip at a time. - ​​​​​​“Is That True?” This isn’t necessarily common for parents, but it should be as it’s the one phrase that can help a kid get past their [constant negative thoughts.]( It’s incredibly easy for children to build a narrative where they are the victim. That narrative results in a downward spiral of “nobody likes me, everybody hates me, might as well go eat worms.” But kids are also smart enough that if you challenge their perceptions, they will take a moment to think critically about what they’re saying. Asking a kid who says something like, “I never get what I want,” if what they’ve said is true is a great way to disrupt a negative thought process. It opens the door for a little bit of nuance and makes problems that seem huge and intractable a bit easier to tackle and conquer. [Here are a few more phrases to consider saying more often to your kids.]( FURTHER READING - [12 Phrases That Can Help Resolve Conflict in Nearly Any Environment]( - ​​​​​[Praise, Done Right: 8 Affirmations For Kids Parents Should Say More Often]( - [9 Things Boys Need to Hear Their Father Say at Home]( WELL MADE [fatherhood-what-to-buy]( [Exclusive: Get $5 Off Fatherhood]( Just in time for holiday shopping, newsletter subscribers (that’s you!) can get Fatherhood, the only complete expert-lead guide for dads, at a discount. Get one for your friends, family, and yourself now! Promo code is 5FATHERHOOD. [BUY NOW]( SELF [donttakepersonally-final-1]( [How to Not Take Things Personally: 5 Steps to Gain Perspective]( The stress of parenting can make even the most emotionally healthy person turn molehills into mountains. [Here's how to keep things in perspective.]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS 3 Things to Do When You’re Feeling Frustrated with Your Partner - Put Yourself in Their Shoes Try to look at the situation from your partner’s side. Ask yourself how you might feel, or how you might react. Chances are you’ll be in a better place. “Think of how this situation is related to other situations for your partner,” says relationship coach Cheri Timko. “This is not your interpretation, but what you know they would say if they explained it to you.” If you’re stuck, Timko suggests writing a letter from them to you explaining their experience in the situation. - Ask For Their Input Why? Because how else are you going to get to the root of your frustration? The key is calm. Talk to your partner and ask them to explain the reasoning behind their actions and emotions. Listen and ask questions to try and gain some understanding. “It is important that you choose a good time to ask so you both stay calm,” Timko says. “You may not get the opportunity to describe your part. But knowing what is happening for your partner will help you deal with it better.” - Have a Plan If you’ve been with someone long enough, you usually can start to tell when things are going badly. When you sense a tense situation beginning to brew, it might be wiser to try and nip the argument in the bud before it gets worse. “Know ahead of time what are the signs and symptoms that your frustration and irritation are growing and what you need to do to manage them,” says Timko. Calling a timeout and returning to a conversation when you’ve cooled down (and re-engaging with it) is always an excellent strategy. [Here are a few more strategies to keep in mind when you’re feeling frustrated.]( FIRESIDE SPIRITS [portheader]( [5 Great Bottles of Port to Enjoy This Holiday Season]( It’s the perfect time to get on board with this British and Portuguese fortified wine, [which also happens to make a great gift.]( [READ THE STORY]( TALK TO US Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter). Send your thoughts to [hello@fatherly.com](mailto:hello@fatherly.com?subject=Fatherly%20Newsletter%20Feedback). [FATHERLY_LOGO]( [FB]( [IG]( [Twitter]( [View this email in your browser]( 315 Park Ave. South New York, NY 10010 You can [manage your preferences or unsubscribe]( here. Copyright © 2021 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. [Link](