So, You Never Feel Accepted by Your In-Laws

Plus, Why Teaching Kids Gratitude and Thankfulness Is Hard as Hell [Fatherly_Seahorse]( When you marry someone, you marry their family too: In-laws are an obligation that comes with marriage. But if you’re lucky enough to still have a living mother-in-law and/or father-in-law, it’s important to make the most of those relationships. After all, in an ideal world, in-laws are keepers of family lore and providers of advice and support. They’re readers of bedtime stories and recipe-savers, playmates and teachers. They’re an invaluable asset for families. But, yeah, sometimes the relationship can be strained. When you’re dealing with difficulties, it’s important to keep some perspective — and maybe think about triangles. RELATIONSHIPS [21Article1]( [What to Do When You Never Feel Accepted by Your In-Laws]( Always feel like you're on the outs with your in-laws? [Time to change your thinking — and imagine some triangles.]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS About to Lose it With Your In-Laws? Consider The Intent When a parent or in-law that frustrates us, it can be very easy to assume that any request is coming from an emotionally manipulative place. And that might be, but it’s important to exercise empathy, step back, and evaluate the situation. Is your mother-in-law asking something of you because she wants her way or because she wants to spend time with you? Is your dad trying to bend you to his will or is he just lonely? “Determine this by looking at the whole picture, not just the words being spoken or the immediate interaction,” says Dr. Toni Falcone, a licensed psychologist in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. “What is the backstory of the relationship? Are boundaries commonly respected or disrespected? Does she show concern for what is going on in your life, or is she completely self-focused? Answering these questions can help build empathy for our parents and in-laws and reduce mislabeling or overuse of the term manipulation.” [Here’s some more advice for dealing with in-laws who might be emotionally manipulative.]( FURTHER READING - [How to Be the Best Son-in-Law You Can Be]( - ​​​​​[6 Tips for Setting Boundaries with Your In-Laws]( - [How to Confront Your In-Laws (Without Pissing Off Your Spouse)]( OUT NOW! [fatherhood-what-to-buy]( [Order Your Copy of Fatherhood!]( The most important and most fun parenting book you’ll ever read is OUT NOW. In 17 joyous, expert-lead chapters, Fatherly rough-houses with a UFC fighter’s kids, unearths cultural practices where men feign pregnancy, and breaks down the nine essential conversations all parents should have (and have and have again). In between, you’ll find 20+ experts, illustrated guides, and loads of damn good advice. [BUY NOW]( PARENTING [18Article2]( [Why Teaching Kids Gratitude and Thankfulness Is Hard as Hell]( Gratitude is a powerful tool for kids and families looking to build bonds. [But it’s hard to teach unless it’s a value deeply ingrained into the everyday life of parents.]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS How to Teach a Child the Value of “Thank You” “Please” is ingrained as a magic word. The importance of saying “thank you” is less discussed. One of the reasons? “Thank you” is frankly harder to teach. After all, by the time it’s appropriate, the kid already has the thing the kid wanted. Still, kids can be taught to say the magic words by hounding them (not recommended) or teaching them to want to say it (recommended) The trick, according to Dr. Mayra Mendez, program coordinator for intellectual and developmental disabilities and mental health services at Providence Saint John’s Child and Family Development Center, is in teaching a child that there’s value in gratitude — that it has an ethical and empathetic weight that means just as much as please. “Sometimes parents think it might be demoralizing or that kids don’t need to be saying ‘thank you’ all the time,” she says. “But even the simplest things merit a simple ‘thank you.’ Saying it doesn’t make you subservient.” [Here’s a bit more insight into teaching a child to say thanks]( HE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOSTS [21Article3]( [How Jason Reitman Brought His Dad’s ‘Ghostbusters’ Franchise Back to Life]( ["I was not going to make the movie unless the original actors came back."]( [READ THE STORY]( TALK TO US Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter). Send your thoughts to [hello@fatherly.com](mailto:hello@fatherly.com?subject=Fatherly%20Newsletter%20Feedback). [FATHERLY_LOGO]( [FB]( [IG]( [Twitter]( [View this email in your browser]( Some Spider Studios 20 W 22nd St Floor 3 New York, NY 10010-5858 You can [manage your preferences or unsubscribe]( here. Copyright © 2021 Some Spider, All rights reserved. [Link](