What’s Next for the Children of Afghanistan?

Plus, The Art of Picking Your Battles in Marriage [Fatherly_Seahorse]( Over the past few days, Afghanistan has fallen to the Taliban. How quickly that fall has happened has been described by some as “stunning.” But the stories of women, girls, and children worried about their futures and looking for ways out of the country are, for long-time child advocates and educators within Afghanistan, sadly, predictable. As pundits and prognosticators talk of national security and regional instability, it would do us all some good to turn our thoughts to Afghani kids, whose futures have changed virtually overnight. Whether or not the United States did enough is one question, and a good one. But the most important question is what will happen next to these children? Now is not the time to turn away from it. NEWS [16children-afghanistan]( [Kids Are, and Always Were, the Collateral Damage in Afghanistan]( The children in Afghanistan were promised education, economic support, and a democratic way of life that has all but evaporated. [READ THE STORY]( [bottomquote-psd] As a mother sitting in my home feeling the unease, it struck me to think and look at them and say, 'God forbid, but something can happen any minute.' - Education Minister Rangina Hamidi [to NPR]( [bottomquote-psd] MORE MOVES - [Ghost Students, Ghost Teachers, Ghost Schools]( from Buzzfeed News - ​​​​​[Afghan Girls Fear For Their Future As Taliban Gain Foothold]( from NPR - [The Situation for Children and Women in Afghanistan]( from UNICEF WELL MADE [16buck-mason-henley]( [Buck Mason Pima Curved Hem Henley]( Everyone looks good in a henley. Seriously. The shirt — specifically the long sleeve version — is a flattering as hell fall and winter staple. This pima cotton is lightweight and soft to the touch, but durable and tightly woven. And the curved hem makes your torso look longer and thinner. [BUY NOW]( PARENTING [16sleep-when-baby-wont-sleep-2]( [How to Get Sleep When the Baby Won’t Sleep]( It's possible to get longer stretches of better rest, [even when your baby isn't sleeping through the night.]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS The Sleep Training Method We Stand Behind Choosing a sleep training method is a deeply personal decision. The right method is the one that parents feel is right for their family. We recommend the Fading sleep training method because, in addition to being effective, it’s a balanced approach that many parents find to be a happy medium between more austere Cry It Out (CIO) methods and the Gentle Sleep Training or No Tears methods, and therefore a good place to start. The American Academy of Pediatricians (AAP) has researched Cry It Out methods (which include fading) and found that they work and are not particularly stressful to the child. We recommend fading over classical CIO or the Ferber Method because it gives parents a certain peace of mind: Unlike the Ferber and extinction methods, Fading allows parents to feel as if they are still nurturing and connected to their child during the sleep training process How does Fading work? Parents who use the Fading sleep training method very gradually distance themselves from their baby over time. Unlike other methods, parents offer very little verbal and physical comfort as they increase their physical distance from their kid night by night. Some crying is expected. What’s the difference between Fading and Ferberization? The main difference between Fading and Ferberization is that parents start out in their child’s room, putting their baby down after a bedtime routine, while their child is drowsy but not yet fully asleep. Parents then stay by their child’s side as the baby falls asleep. As nights progress, parents begin increasing their physical distance to their child. So, if they started out by their crib, they will move a few feet away. On subsequent nights they will move still further away while remaining in sight of their child. What happens if the baby is fussy? When the baby fusses, parents using the Fading method are encouraged to offer verbal cues like a hushing sound or soft reassurances that they are present, while maintaining minimal physical contact so that the baby can learn to soothe themselves to sleep. While Fading is considered “gentler” than the Ferber Method or CIO by its proponents, the baby will likely cry as a parent’s distance increases. What are the downsides of Fading? Fading does come with some downsides. It will take longer to complete than other CIO sleep training methods. And because parents are encouraged to interact with their child, they may lose more sleep during the night, making them more tired over the course of the training. However, many parents find that feeling tired but also connected and responsive to a child is better in the long run than feeling as if they’ve left their child to suffer — a feeling commonly reported by parents who engage in more extreme versions of CIO. For more information, check out [the Fatherly Guide to Sleep Training.]( INTERVIEW [16tony-hale]( [Tony Hale Won’t Let His Kid Watch ‘Arrested Development’ — Yet]( We spoke to the actor about parenting, acting in YA projects, and why "the incredibly codependent" Buster Bluth [is too much for him to handle.]( [READ THE STORY]( TALK TO US Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter). Send your thoughts to [hello@fatherly.com](mailto:hello@fatherly.com?subject=Fatherly%20Newsletter%20Feedback). [FATHERLY_LOGO]( [FB]( [IG]( [Twitter]( [View this email in your browser]( Some Spider Studios 20 W 22nd St Floor 3 New York, NY 10010-5858 You can [manage your preferences or unsubscribe]( here. Copyright © 2021 Some Spider, All rights reserved. [Link](