Fark NotNewsletter: Post-Christmas Blues

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1703718758-59213-68 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13100500](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your ye= ar's been well. It's the last = NNL of 2023! That sure snuck up on me. I think I've been in a t= ime bubble ever since the pandemic - you lose three years and suddenly ever= ything seems like it just blew by. 2024 should be a pretty interestin= g year. Why is that? Those of you who can do math might be able= to figure it out. More in a week or two. I hope everyone's Xmas went well. Mine was great -= I got some new books and a new Lego roller coaster set which is now occupy= ing half of the dining room table until we all get tired of playing with it= . We also got a new kitten recently - dogs you gotta apply and interv= iew for but cats you find in garbage cans and by the side of the road. = ; We're currently training her to hang out in bars, ride in the car, and wa= lk on a leash. Surprisingly we've had more luck with the bars, it pro= bably has to do with the fact that she gets chicken when she's out with us.= Cats are mercenaries. N= o [livestream](3D")this week but well be back next we= ek with a ton of material! Hap= py new year everyone! ________________________ End&nb= sp;Drew transmission ________________________&nbs= p; Top InteractionsSome of the best interactions from the past week. Do note: this takes= priority over being placed in "top comments." - Farkers in [This Thread= ng>](3D") discussed ridiculous baby names. - We had our yearly [Christmas Thread= ong>](3D") this week. - [Turns out, threads about pay/work ethic are even worse than tipping = threads!](3D"h=) - Badmoodman['s post began a discussion a= bout deadnaming Twitter.](3D" = Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest c= omments from the past week. If your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D") and [Funniest](3D") for the past mon= th are found elsewhere.) Funny: - blackn= ite[knows how Epstein got himself into this mess.](3D"=) - = Dahnkster[is one of the heroes that removes rectally-inser= ted items when they won't come out.](3D"ht=) - SpectroBoy= ong>[illustrated the Muskrat's mask falling off.](3D") - Bu= mpInTheNight[unknowingly recreated the Festivus Pole.](3D"https:/=) -&n= bsp;Rage Against the Thorazine[suggested recreating The Sl= ap.](3D" - OtherLittleGuy[Yep, natural causes. Smart: - cretinbob](3D" this hospital for knowing when complying would cause more trouble than it'= s worth.](3D") - Megathuma[: "it's freaking weird= to lecture to an audience of terrifying eye-bug people."](3D" - Jojo_TheDogFacedBoyknows it can always be worse. From exp= erience. - Cafe Threads[: "there's nothing, N= OTHING scarier than teenage girls on a hunt"](3D" - Chemli= ght Battery[wonders why a judge would reveal the names of the vict= ims of a case.](3D"https://=) - Man On A Mission[hopes a de= creased arrest rate is a result of better cops, not worse ones.](3D") -&= nbsp;snowjack[created a lifehack that relies on the succ= ess of another lifehack. The meta-lifehack.](=3D" - Marcus = Aurelius[knows the old way we used to give away our location.](3D"=) - Pocket Ninja[knows there's no saving this shac= k.](3D" [Politics](3D"http=) Politics Funny: - null[illustrated our proprietary "HAPPENING-CON" scale.](3D"=) - toddalmighty[named this woman a modern-day Mata= Hari.](3D" - sno man[: "This dumbass maga redneck= might well be right."](3D" - SpectroBoy[commends= the article author's photo choice.](3D") - Badmoodman= ong>[introduced the "Grievance Party."](3D") Politics Smart:= - BizarreMan[: "The only thing I know is that by= the end of 2024, the SCOTUS is going to be sick and tired of seeing his na= me on their docket."](3D" - aaronx[wonders why st= ates are allowed to not remove known insurrectionists from the bal= lot.](3D") - JohnnyApocalypse[was amused by this "= instantaneous about face."](3D" - make me some tea= >[spotted a BlueSky post that illustrates the modern honeytrap.](3D") -= Badmoodmansuggests Texas pay attention in (modern) = history class. - Noticeably F.A.T.[realized = that a non-US Texas would end up the perfect target.](3D") Monkey's Pick I felt these posts were exceptionally funny = or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorted, may= contain politics. Funny: - Incident on = 57th Street[had the perfect song for this thread about Tesla repai= rs.](3D"https://=) - 151[: "I'm physically incapable of leav= ing the bathroom without fear of my life in making sure the seat is down"= a> - ChimpMitten](3D" the stage TFG needs to ha= ve a chance in the presidential debates](3D". - Mr. Shaboo= boo[summarized the St. Louis police situation.](3D"=) - [Res= ponsible gun owner](3D")GopherGuts[gave us advice on how to= respond to trouble.](3D" - freakdiablo[knows wha= t a good mass arrest looks like, and this ain't it chief.](3D") S= mart: - Naido[wonders if this bill is a pol= itical stunt.](3D" - TheOmni[explained some of th= e situation behind the above bill.](3D" - Nullav:= "I don't feel like I really lost anything by getting disillusioned a bit e= arly." CSB Sunday Morning theme - "= >[That one family holiday tradition that you carry on](3D")= " This week, Farkers were encouraged to share their holiday tra= ditions. [Funny](3D"=): - The Po= pe of Manwich Village[went to the wrong lake.](=3D" - FirstDennis[knows exactly where their fire extinguisher is. - relaxitsjustme](3D"ht=)[... "double bubble?" The gum= ?](3D" - Brawndo[knows how to sleep through Chris= tmas.](3D" [Smart](3D"https:=): - = Chariset[remembered their grandma by making star candles.](3D"=) = - freddyV['s family donates a huge amount of gear to = one of the poorest US areas.](=3D" - kb7rky[misses= their dad's Christmas omelette.](3D") - pissnmoan= [: "There is always some poor college kid in there doing dishes."](3D") = Top Contest Entries= Some of the top-voted [con= test](3D"ht=) entries from last week. As always, everybody gets one - and they'r= e sorted by how likely they are to still be open. [Photoshops](3D"):= m> - RedZoneTuba[politely sipped a Moloko.](3D" - Yammering_Splat_Vector[guessed at Drew's elemen= tary school years.](3D" - Thrakkorzog[alerted the= horde.](3D") - west.la.lawyer[found the library= they shot the James Bond intro in.](3D") - EvaDewer= g>[chose a poor choice of plant as a hood ornament.](3D") - opalakea[was told to not think about pink elephants.](3D"=) -&n= bsp;Thoaar[tripped over Mr. Hankey.](3D"h=) - Octafrye[employed this horse.](3D"https://w=) - Herb Utsme= lz[has the BEST Halloween costume. What do you mean, it's Christm= as?](3D".=) - Surly U. Jest[released the child from = the Silly String can.](3D" - koyote11[melted the = ice.](3D") - rfenster[still can't escape the Skifr= ee Snow Monster.](3D" - (Bonus!) Including the Amazon logo gave = a>Terrapin Bound's post a more menacing aura. -&n= bsp;samsquatch[got to point at letters in Wheel of Fortun= e.](=3D" - Vortex Dweller[let Calvin's imagination= run wild.](3D" - Hassan Ben Sobr[BADGER BADGER B= ADGER BADGER](3D") - Stephen_Falken[gave us a new = logo for Morton salt.](3D") - MULIDO[ran over a rh= ino.](3D") - Captain_Max_Radius[put Santa on life= support.](3D") - nitropissering[wandered into t= he Charlie Brown Christmas Special.](3D") - Dodo David= ong>[proposed a sequel to a classic Gnome movie.](3D") [Captions](3D")= >: No Captions this week, sadly. [Maybe you could submit one](3D" [Farktography theme](3D" strong>: "[Season's Greetings 15](3D"=)" This week, Farkers were challenge= d to take photos that would make great Holiday cards. - L= ovesandwich[found a mountain of a Christmas tree.](3D"https://=) - = Elsinore[fortified their tree.](3D"htt=) - TOY= Moose[discovered giant ornaments.](3D"=) - edmo= trong>[wishes that was their truck.](3D") [Upcoming Fark = Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effec= tively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out." [S= ubmit one!](3D" [Monday, April = 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon. Buffalo Small Boat Ha= rbor](3D") Fark Headl= ines of the Week A selection of some of the top headlines fro= m last week. [Colorado Supreme Court lights a fat one, exhales, and decides = now is a good time to disqualify Trump from the presidential ballot](3D"https:/=) = [Someone sure was in a hurry to get to the gay bar](3D") [= Xitter's Full](3D") [Charles University in Prague experiencing an unexpected America= n Studies program](3D"ht=) [Man arrested for grabbing dong on airplane](=3D") [Bunnie= s are going on rampant crime sprees, obviously inspired by their ancestor s= awing off Florida](3D") [18 pounds of vacuum-sealed marijuana, 3.6= pounds of THC oil, 2 pounds of hash, 1,628 THC vape pens and 1.7 ounces of= mushrooms and THC chocolate bars is no way to go through life young lady. = Well maybe it is](=3D") [Subby has quietly she= lved his fanfic "The Erotic Adventures of Tom Bombadil" until this whole th= ing blows over](3D=) Fark We= ird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy= g>) Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learned why the US = still uses English measurements when even the founding fathers wanted to go= metric before it was cool. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro ca= me out on top with 928, followed by Fara Clark in sec= ond with 873 and HFK in third with 837. = TheMothership made fourth with 834, and OtherLittleGu= y made it into the top five with 833. The hardest question= on last week's Hard Quiz was about which company's Daihatsu unit had been = faking side-impact and other safety testing for years, and has ceased shipm= ents of all new vehicles. Only 23% of quiztakers knew that Daihatsu ha= s been a wholly owned subsidiary of Toyota since 2016, Most of the affected= vehicles were sold as Toyota Yaris, but many were manufactured for Mazda a= nd Subaru along with other Toyota models in Latin America. The easi= est question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the new Miss France and why= many uptight French people are saying the competition has "gone woke". 66%= of quiztakers knew that Ève Gilles was the first Miss France in its= 103-year history to have short hair. This is surprising from the country t= hat brought us Coco Chanel and her swing bob, Édith Piaf and her pix= ie cut, and Audrey Tatou's gamine in "Amélie". On the plus side, the= re's plenty of backlash against the haters, so this bodes well for future f= emale agency in the country that still hasn't apologized for Gérard = Depardieu. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about = which Disney character will join Mickey Mouse in the public domain on Janua= ry 1. Only 18% of quiztakers knew that Mickey's costar in both "Steamboat W= illie" and "Plane Crazy" was none other than Minnie Mouse. The Pluto design= first appeared in 1930's "The Chain Gang" as a bloodhound chasing escaped = prisoner Mickey Mouse, then as Minnie Mouse's dog Rover in "The Picnic", an= d finally came into his own as a Mickie's dog named Pluto in 1931's "The Mo= ose Hunt", The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about= Billy Crystal doing an interview in Katz's Deli in lower east side Manhatt= an, NYC. 96% of quiztakers knew that he said he hadn't been there since fil= ming "When Harry Met Sally" back in 1989. Which is understandable as he liv= es in California, but I think it means he never tried their corned beef dur= ing filming or he would have raised his kids in New York City to be around = it more. If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark W= eird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations = once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1703718758-59213-68--