Fark NotNewsletter: Thanksgiving Break's over, back to politics

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1701297425-51811-17015 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13070996](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your we= ek's been well. Maybe it's jus= t me but the week following Thanksgiving feels like a mad rush to Get All T= he Things done. The news cycle is no exception - these next three wee= ks before Xmas are a mad rush to get everything and anything into the news = cycle before (in NYC anyhow) a solid week of consecutive night company Xmas= parties ensues. I haven't had to travel hardly at all since covid fo= rced everyone to switch over to zoom meetings but just the thought of not a= ttending causes my liver to breathe a sigh of relief. To tease an upcoming Fark tradition - once December= rolls around it's time for Fark Headline of the Year voting. Please = vote early and vote often. We'll do a livestream of the winning headl= ines, probably on the Dec 21st show but stay tuned for a firm announcement.= This Thursday 4pm eastern the= [Fark News Livestream is back](3D")! It's been = a long hiatus with the holiday and whatnot, but I've been saving material a= nyhow all along and this is probably the most loaded we've ever been. = I'm going to have a hard time cutting material. Also we should have = an evening Christmas movie special coming up perhaps as early as next week,= still nailing down the time for that. Mainly because last time we di= d one I drank so much I lost half the next day. But it was totally wo= rth it. ________________________ End Dre= w transmission ________________________ Top Interactions Some of the best = interactions from the past week. Do note: this takes priority over = being placed in "top comments." - [SpectroBoy](3D" >and [iron de havilland](3D") used images to illustrate how m= uch spittle's supposed to be generated when saying "phthalates." - Sin_City_Superhero[knows they cannot be trusted= with cannons.](3D" Notabunny [suggests using that cannon en= thusiasm to start a public service.](3D" - kindms= and co.[wo= ndered what crime falls under "throwing food at a former President."](3D"=) Top Comments S= ome of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week. = If your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey c= ouldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D" and Funniest for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny: - Angry Drunk Bureaucrat[hopes nobody tak= es him seriously.](3D") - Teddy Brosevelt[discovered an actua= l paper given to TFG's lawyers.](3D") - [Guess the context to "It'= s like a genre of country music that doesn't even exist yet" in this meme Mantour](3D" - foo monkey= ong>[Calm down, Rocket.](3D") Smart: - mof= a[= took several politicians out-of-context.](3D"=) - cherryl ta= ggart[shared a tale illustrating how far kindness and civility get= s you.](3D"=) - Meat's dream[wonders if the George= Floyd policeman's fate will end up being a rallying cry for prison reform.=](3D" - Mock26[reminded us of an ancient navigati= onal tool.](3D" - Mr. Coffee Nerves[gave us a mat= h question about Jolene.](3D") - mofa[cannot belie= ve Elon's interesting dichotomy of wealth and cringe.](3D") [Politics Politics Funny: - OldRod](3D" a truth-te= lling billboard.](3D") - LovesToSpooge[theorized a= bout George Santos's side job.](3D") - SergeantObvious= ong>[discovered an image illustrating why so few want babies anymore.](3D") - strapp3r3D" an alternative hair = dye.](3D" - covfefe[: "Doesn't my bright coloring already warn eve= ryone that I taste terrible?"](3D" Politics Smart: -&n= bsp;sillydragon['s opinion on TFG coverage? "It's going to be like Elv= is."](=3D" - mrshowrules (Paraphrased)[: 'Huh. So that's why y= ou pay your lawyers.'](3D") - NewportBarGuy[dug in= to this 'poor' reporter's backstory.](3D") - damageddude= trong>[has seen peaceful protests, and Jan. 6th wasn't one of 'em.](3D") = - erik-k[wishes people would stop inserting politic= s into everything.](=3D" - cmwignatz[: "derGropenFuhrer"](3D") Monkey's Pick I felt these posts wer= e exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. = Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Funny: -&nbs= p;jimmythrust[developed MAGAman into a real superhero.](=3D" -&n= bsp;fruit flies like a banana[provided a tip on reading TFG's xiats. - dennysgod](3D" maybe, MAYBE, some= m> conditions of the sex offender registry were violated here.](3D" -&n= bsp;Nosferartoo[is right - the footage of the Rainbow Brid= ge crash DOES look like something that'd happen in GTA.](=3D" - mofa[designed a new flavor of god-botherer: God-Zero™](3D"=) = Smart: - TWX[explained why having dinner with a = politician is so expensive nowadays.](3D" - Zombie DJ= ong>[explained why they don't go to the theater anymore.](3D") - stoli n coke[recommended a new way to look at the old Rudolp= h animation.](3D"h=) - Fart_Machine[recognized TFG'= s incompetent spawn being placed outside anywhere important.](3D") -&nb= sp;Nimbull['s post would've had a double meaning if Elon pu= blically supported IRL spawncamping.](3D"h=) [CSB](3D" Morning theme - "= strong>[Homemade and handmade gifts](3D")"= ng> This week, Farkers were challenged to share their experiences with h= omemade & handmade gifts. [Funny](3D"): - Biscuit = Tin['s mother put so much work into the fudge tin, nobody said anyt= hing about the fudge.](3D"=) - id10ts[gives some re= ally uncreative Xmas presents.](3D") - Billy Bathsalt= ng>[made a custom game for their nephew.](3D") - Lsherm= rong>[tried to cook duck like their professional aunt chef, and gave everyo= ne food poisoning.](3D") - knobmaker[keeps their r= elatives supplied with pots.](3D") [Smart](3D"): - catma= ndu[customized their ottoman.](3D"=) - Halfabee64= strong>[lost their pinkie making a woodworked gift.](3D") - Cafe Threads['s older sisters un-lost the Barbie doll's clothes.= a> - The Pope of Manwich Village](3D"https:=)[DJed his friend= s' weddings for free. The only rule? No Jimmy Buffett.](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of = the top-voted [contest](3D"=) ent= ries from last week. As always, everybody gets one. [Photoshops](3D"): - chazpat[can't believe they found an unuse= d litter box.](3D" - RedZoneTuba[took a group ba= th in an unsafe area.](3D") - Terrapin Bound[did s= urgery on a heart.](3D") - Thoaar[wondered if the= re was a back to that mask.](3D") - Yammering_Splat_Vector[haunts your pantry.](3D"=) - I_Am_Weasel['s= dancer didn't realize those "backup dancers" were trying to warn him.](3D") - EvaDewer[visited TFG's customized jail cell.= a> - Driver](3D" sure to create Frankenstein's w= ife with electrifying hair. Just in case.](3D" - Dodo Davi= d[thinks Floridians would be happier if they just drifted off in= to the ocean.](3D"=) - samsquatch[hallucinated a = better castle.](3D") - GoodDoctorB[dropped Toto.= a> - Vortex Dweller](3D")[wrote a movie about a grown-up Fe= rris Bueller.](3D" These Photoshops are still open! Add your own = submissions - or at least vote. - EvaDewer[encou= ntered a real-life Spartoi.](3D") (link) - RedZoneTuba[finally assembled= that puzzle-tractor.](3D") - Thoaar[discovered th= e NBC peacock as a baby.](3D") - RedZoneTuba[gave = us the Internet's version of Brazil's Jesus statue.](3D") - Yammering_Splat_Vector[put the most uncomfortable chairs in their= car.](=3D" - asstamassta[wants out.](3D" -&nb= sp;Stephen_Falkenpostulated (about) a potential propaga= nda poster. - RedZoneTuba[discovered the fa= te of a lesser-known Trump property.](3D") - RedZoneTuba= trong>[beached their boat 5 seconds after the trip started.](3D") - = ;Stephen_Falken[encountered a shard of a certain wreck.](=3D" > - I_Am_Weasel[discovered a kindred spirit in b= oredom.](3D" - RedZoneTuba[ordered this flamingo= to commit crimes, and get stopped by the local Power Ranger team.](3D" = - Thoaar[encountered a "Take on Me" situation.](=3D" - Thoaarlost their other flip-flop. -= Thoaar[will soon be swept under.](3D=) - EvaDewer[isn't reading.](3D"https:=) - samsquatch= trong>[is going to catch that Secretary Bird, if it's the last thing they d= o.](3D") - Thoaar[started their roadkill business = at a very young age.](3D" - RedZoneTuba[immortali= zed the Ministry of Silly Walks.](3D") [Captions](3D" "[Capt= ion this recording session](3D")" - RedZoneTuba [reimagi= ned this old-timey advertisement.](3D") - strangeguitar= [knows where to get the best dog noises.](3D") "[Caption this trave= ler](3D")" - Albert911emt [marveled at the public-access= iPhones.](3D" - puffy999 [wonders who gave "B Gates" h= is own security checkpoint.](3D" [Farktography theme](3D" "[Thankful Thursday 2](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged = to photograph what they're thankful for this year. - kitt= yhas1000legs[is thankful for surprise amenities.](3D"https:/=) - MorningBreath[is thankful for the natural beauty found in t= heir State.](3D=) - kdawg7736[loves their cat.](3D" > - JudgeSmails[loves to share a peaceful local = view](3D". [= Upcoming Fark Parties](3D"=) It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectively saying that "I'm g= oing to be here at this time, come hang out." [Submit one!](3D" [4/8/24: Monday, April 8, 2024, Total e= clipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon. Buffalo Small Boat Harbor](=3D") Fark Headlines of the Week= A selection of some of the top headlines from last week. = [Rosalynn has crossed over before Jimmy](3D") Derek Chauvin celebrates Shanksgi= ving a day late [Bi= frost Bridge closed due to possible explosion, Heimdall unavailable for com= ment. Traffic on the Yellow Brick Road is now backing up. Highway to Hell r= unning smoothly however](3D") [Navy names newest Arleigh Burke-class destroyer and they get it righ= t](3D") [Israel agrees to ceasefire de= al with Hamas in exchange for 50 hostages, a 3rd round pick, and a player t= o be named later](3D") [= Rainbow Bridge explosion blamed on member of a cult army which caused mass = casualties at a theme park in 1978](3D") [Knife smuggling plan goes a rye](3D"=) [The point is that greed is good. Greed is r= ight. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence = of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms, has marked the upwa= rd surge of mankind. Now give me my damn presents](3D"h=) [Now they're trying to take away our Fark he= adlines](3D"h=) [Nature red in flipper and tentac= le](3D") [What do you and George RR Martin = have in common? Neither of you have written any new pages of the Winds of W= inter in the past year](3D") = Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tall= boy) Another fun time on last week's Quiz, where we learned Guc= ci really does have more money than they know what to do with. On the Quiz = itself, HFK is our sole entrant into the 1000 club (where = we're *still* eating turkey sandwiches) with a score of 1027, followed by&n= bsp;Russell_Secord in second with 998 and Den= jiro in third with 980. WoolyManwich made fo= urth with 952, and reachforthetop9 made it into the t= op five with 943. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was= about a brazen theft from a semi truck parked at a Target in Philadelphia.= Only 43% of quiztakers caught the story about the thieves who broke the lo= ck on a trailer and made off with several cases of talcum powder. Which doe= s make one wonder if they had gotten the wrong trailer or if that really wa= sn't talcum powder. Or if they were hired by the Dallas Cowboys to make sur= e the Eagles had a severe case of jock itch for their upcoming game. The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Sam Altman and wh= y he was in the news. 91% of quiztakers knew he was the CEO of OpenAI who w= as fired two weeks ago and then rehired four days later. It seems no one ca= n explain why he was fired, but it appears he was rehired because no one el= se has the foggiest idea of what's going on or presumably wanted to touch t= hat container he left in the breakroom fridge. And that's too bad, too, sin= ce OpenAI had just written him a fabulous résumé. The= hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which country star jus= t cleaned house at the Billboard Magazine Awards, two years after his label= suspended him for using racial slurs. 54% of quiztakes knew that Morgan Wa= llen wasn't going to let a little thing like being openly racist hold him b= ack, and his fans didn't seem to care either. The easiest que= stion on last week's Easy Quiz was about the definition of "boilerplate". 9= 4% of quiztakers knew that it meant "standard or formulaic language", like = an apology for using racial slurs written by an AI whose CEO just got fired= and rehired, or instructions for using talcum powder. If you= missed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that = you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, a= nd we'll be doing it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. 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