Fark NotNewsletter: The Theme is Candy Corn

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1698945462-40716-158 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13042486](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your we= ek's been well. Some people th= ink I'm very wrong about what I'm going to tell you but if I'm wrong so is = the UK. And probably Europe for all I know. I lived in Nottingham UK for a year when I was in colle= ge. It's one thing to know that other countries don't celebrate Thank= sgiving, it's another thing to realize it the day after Halloween when all = the Christmas decorations go up. In the US some folks complain about = any Christmas decorations going up before Thanksgiving, but outside of the = US there are no other competing holidays so they just roll right into Chris= tmas. Prior to living in Engla= nd I would have counted myself in the No-XMas before Thanksgiving contingen= t. But after living through two months of Christmas ramp in England, = I gotta admit I kind of liked it. So yeah I'm fine with over-celebrating holidays. Also it's cold a= s balls here in Kentucky right now, might as well move into the winter holi= days. I could do with less Mar= iah Carey though. Speaking of which, can anyone think of any other mo= dern Christmas songs that have taken off in the past 30 years? Seems = like there are very few if any. My dark horse candidate is "I Don't K= now What Christmas Is, But Christmastime is Here" from the Guardians Xmas s= pecial. I base this guess on the fact that my kids made me play it fo= r them on the way to school this morning and they already know all the word= s somehow. Also it's a fun song. Thursday 4pm EST it's the Fark News Livest= ream! No Lucky this week but the rest of us will be there. = We've got a post-Halloween wrap of all of the yard displays that resulted i= n someone calling the cops, as well as a round up of things that shouldn't = have ended up in candy buckets yet somehow did. Also, the surprisingl= y long multi-state saga of Booty Patrol. ________________________= End Drew transmission _________= _______________ Farking T= ips Farketplace! Christmas is just a= round the corner (at least according to most major US retailers) and while = we're fine with waiting until at least after Thanksgiving to start listenin= g to Mariah Carey, we agree with the fantastic [Farketplace folks who wanted to give you ample time to share your wares and shop for= gifts. Never heard of the](3D")[Farketplace](3D")= ? Each year, just after Halloween, we put up a thread where Farkers are inv= ited to promote their online shops & small businesses, or just sell the= ir arts and crafts. --- Spooky story threads! We = had our annual [Fark spooky Halloween story thread= on Monday](3D"=). If you dig scary stories, check out any and all of the Fark= spooky Halloween story threads from the last 20 years: [2004](3D") = [2005](3D") &nbs= p; [2006](3D"=) [2007](3D") [2008](3D") &= nbsp;[2009](3D") 2010= > [2011](3D"=) [2012](=3D") [2013](3D") [2014](3D") 2015 [2016](3D") [2017](3D"http=) [2018](3D") [2019](3D"=) [2020](3D") [2021](3D")[2022](3D".=) [2023](3D") Huge THANK YOU to Turing_Machine for originatin= g and sponsoring this thread every year! Winners for the top voted [Funniest](3D") and [Smartest](3D"),= we'll be sending your FUs by the weekend! Congratulations to the top voted Winners!!! [relaxitsjustme](3D=) Funniest [emiliogtz](3D"htt=) Smartest Top Interactions Some of the best= interactions from the past week. Do note: this takes priority over= being placed in "top comments." - TWX and Carter Pewterschmidt [discussed sitcom dwelling design.](=3D" - = Farkers in [T= his Thread](3D".=) discussed how churches can be repurposed. - [Captain Scratch](3D"), Louisiana_Sitar_Club= a>, and[Aquapope](3D"=)built on each other's jokes to create= Beta Ray Bill and X-Ray Ted's Excellent Adventure. (Bonus: [Ne= arCanuck](3D"), late to the party.) - educated m= et a sentient piece of candy corn. BlakCat [gave us an = artist's rendition.](3D") - FarkOf40000Years [has a candy = corn recipe for homemade Payday bars](3D"). genner [explains = why it doesn't taste horrible.](3D") - Trainspotr, darinwil, and Dudley_Nightsoil [discussed grandm= a candy. You know the kind.](3D") - The Minstrel Boy [cher= ry-picked the most important part of this article about Satanism.](3D") johnryan51 [realized how similar that post was to another screen= cap.](3D"https=) - seether00: ["She can't be that dumb. She's a = lawyer."](3D" In reply, jst3p [reminded us that there are so= me really stupid lawyers.](3D" T= op Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comme= nts from the past week. If your post isn't here, assume that Not= NewsletterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D") and [Funniest](3D") for the past mon= th are found elsewhere.) The politics tab breached into Main, s= o uh. Hope you like candy corn! - NotNewsletterMonkey= Funny: - CarnySaur[remembers whe= n Maine was ranked the "safest state."](3D") - jars.traptone[wishes it were Easter instead.](3D"=) - Psychopusher[wrote a rhyme about a dead parrot. Er, world leader.](3D"=) - = ;Speef[found the one thing worse than candy corn.](3D"https=) -= khitsicker: "I SEEK GLORY!" Smart:= em> - LaViergeNoire[discovered a sad truth of grow= ing up - actors will be your age or younger when they die.](3D" - NeoCortex42[hopes Maine beefs up their preventative measures= for mass shootings.](3D"ht=) - Martian_Astronomer[brou= ght us the 3 stages of candy corn.](3D") - SpectroBoy= >[wonders why this crasher thinks they're qualified to drive a motorcycle.=](3D") [Politics](3D"=) Politics Funny: - O= dradekRex[understands which bottom TFG knows - and it's not the on= e he's supposed to.](3D"=) - GoldSpider[THE CHILDREN = YEARN FOR THE MINES](3D") - Tanqueray[has the excuse= this election denier will tell himself.](3D") - nmrsnr= ng>[discovered many other facts on the tier of "the Webb Telescope exists."=](3D") Politics Smart: - Albert911emt= g>[sees a pattern in TFG's interactions.](3D") - Meatsim1= rong>[... goat rope?](3D") - erik-k[explained the d= epths of Fox's ignorance.](3D") - TorpedoOrca[gave u= s two options for use of a "Get out of Jail Free" card. Guess which one was= used.](3D") - wearsmanyhats[created another way t= o read GOP.](3D" Monkey's Pick I fel= t these posts were exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't ge= t many votes. Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Funny= : - Lsherm[realized The_EliteOne jinxed us.= a> - LineNoise](3D" "Honestly came in expecting this t= o be one of the yearly articles about my family dentist." (???)](3D" -&nb= sp;[Someone get a cursebreaker to](3D")xcheopis[- their dent= ist's promised to remove all their teeth.](3D") - educated= trong>[met a sentient piece of candy corn.](3D") - Salmonberr= yPie[discovered a photoshop of a horrible limited-edition ranch.= a> - enry](3D"=): "Box wine should start including rand= om facts on them." Smart: - Nana's Vib= rator[: "The re-marketing of Friends to the streaming generation ha= s been crazy."](3D"=) - SpectroBoy[knows how to hide= knowledge from your kids.](3D") - eurotrader[knows = all candy corn is made with a secret ingredient: BUG... secretions. Still g= ross.](3D") - thealgorerhythm[realized the only bar= rier to Satanic-enabled abortions is the lack of a clinic.](3D" - Bluemoons['s friend was attacked by tarantulas.](3D"http=) = [CSB](3D"=)Sunda= y Morning theme - "[Just in time for Halloween, let's hear your best holiday prank= story.](3D"https=)" This week, Farkers were asked to share their best = holiday prank stories. [Funny=](=3D"): - Vansthing[dressed as a human scarecro= w.](3D" - Jesus McSordid[has yet to meet a pranks= ter they like.](3D" - Adolf Oliver Nipples['s local = teens enraged a vengeful spirit.](3D") - skiinstructor= g>[made the most of the only time they've ever been grounded.](3D") [Smart](3D"): - spiffy= canuck[saw someone get scared out of a haunted house by a parrot. - Foolkiller](3D"=)[ran Orson Welles' radio show.](3D" - Johnsonwas stoned to death. They got better. - wildcardjack[showed up to the metal concert = with an arrow in their head.](3D" Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last week. As al= ways, everybody gets one. [Photoshops](3D" Our annual [Fark Photoshop Jack-O-Lantern Carving Contest](3D") is live! Come muti= late an internet pumpkin! - opalakea[watched = the live-action "Rock-em, Sock-em Robots" movie](3D") - assta= massta[beat Mike Tyson.](3D"=) - Thoaar[brou= ght a sword to a Star War.](3D") - [Popeye's fallen on rough times, ac= cording to](3D" - Yammering= _Splat_Vector[transformed a truck into a bike.](3D"https:=) - EvaDewer[gave Groot a job.](3D"https://=) - RedZoneTuba= trong>[learned their silly walk from the best.](3D") - i-dig[knows what low tide means.](3D"=) - Terrapin Bound= trong>[depicted what might occur when Tatooine freezes over.](3D") - = jaylight2003[took a ride on a children's toy.](3D=) -&nbs= p;proton[made an excellent ice bath.](3D"htt=) - FotoshopFiend[menaces Peter Pan with a... What is that, = anyways?](3D"https=) - west.la.lawyer[found a partner for = this playground sculpture.](3D" - Petite Mel[offers= us a chocolate Sun Tzu in this trying time.](3D") - Parallax= [met a gruesome end.](3D"=) - markie_farkie = found a use for that second dish they always put hot stuff in. -&nbs= p;I_Am_Weasel[gave Gloria a hole.](=3D" - = Thrakkorzog[implemented Internet revenue-raising practices in a re= al-life business.](3D"https://=) [Captions](3D" "[Caption this conce= rned canine](3D")" - puffy999 [wants a treat.](3D" - Wessoman [is glad they get to ride inside the car this time.=](3D"htt=) "[Caption this inspection](3D"=)" - RedZoneTuba= > [thinks the child is a young Keith Richards](3D"). - Jojo_TheDogF= acedBoy[, on the other hand, thinks the kid's a young Charles Goody= ear.](3D".=) "[Caption la pequeña La Llorona](3D"=)" - Re= dZoneTuba[thinks threats will get the outfit off.](3D"=) - Driver [is a dry place.](3D"=) ([link=](3D")) "[Caption this fetching pupper](3D"=)" - RedZoneTuba= strong> [wishes this dog wasn't flashed.](3D"=) - Rattrap007= > [will give paper for $2.](3D") [Farktography theme](3D" "= [Analog as Art](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged to show us pre= -digital gadgets and/or their media. - markie_farkie= strong>[has a typewriter from a flea market.](3D") - Engimamf= [remembers the slide rule.](3D"=) - Lovesandwich= ong>[knows how we used to lock stuff.](3D") - Elsinore= g>[passed down this pocketwatch through generations.](3D") [= Upcoming Fark Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Par= ty - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, com= e hang out." [Submit one!](3D"=) [Monday, Apri= l 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon. Buffalo Small Boat = Harbor](3D") Fark Hea= dlines of the Week A selection of some of the top headlines f= rom last week. [So no one told you death was= going to be this way\](3D") = [Sout= hwest passenger kicked off flight for rubbing another passenger's pu**y](3D")= [751,000 Highlanders = recalled because There Can Only Be One bumper that stays attached](3D")= > (Check this one out - it's the first time I've seen a thread in here = that didn't get enough comment votes to have any post make it to Top Commen= ts. - NotNewsletterMonkey) [Li= ttle bastard shot me in the ass](3D"=) [Woman sues hotel in Iran after they make her cover up because= she dared to show her shoulders. Wait, scratch that, it was Texas. Same th= ing](3D"=) [Book containin= g violence, genocide, incest, sexually explicit content, and murder allowed= to remain on school shelves in Florida](3D") [On this day in history, in= 1825, the Erie Canal opened, finally allowing shipments of Creepy and Spoo= ky to flow west](3D"=) [Pl= anes collide at Hobby Airport, which is clearly for hobbyists and not real = pilots](3D") Fark Wei= rd News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy= >) Another fun time on the Fark Weird News Quiz, where we learned we'll = all soon be livestreaming so much from our glasses that no one will ha= ve any time to watch anyone else's livestreams from their glasses. On the Q= uiz itself, we have five slots in the 1000 club, which means I'll get to ma= ke my tuna and chorizo dip that everyone says is "unique" and "not easy to = forget". DemonicGerbil takes the top spot with 1029, follo= wed by HighwayBill in second with 1016 and Pure Weapons-Grade Bolonium in third with 1014. Ve= rt Mon made fourth with 1012, and edmo made = it into the top five with 1010. The hardest question on last week's= Hard Quiz was about the new Fontainebleau Las Vegas hotel, the newest ridi= culously overpriced joint to lay your head at 10 AM after a hard night's de= bauchery. Only 39% of quiztakers knew the original Fontainebleau can be fou= nd in Miami, FL, where Jersey Shore filmed its second season. Season 1, 3, = 5, and 6 filmed in Seaside Heights, NJ, and season 4 filmed in Florence, It= aly - even though there was a ton of support for sending them to Detroit.&n= bsp; The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the de= finition of "beholden". 98% of quiztakers knew the word refers to having an= obligation to someone or something to return a favor or match a gift. Whic= h makes that Spacehog song really confusing. The hardest question o= n last week's Easy Quiz was about what you could hear on "Rain" by The= Beatles, "665" and "667" by Soundgarden, and "I Remember Larry" by Weird A= l Yankovic. Only 54% of quiztakers knew that all contained backmasked lyric= s, or vocal tracks played backwards over the song. Weird Al's is espec= ially tongue in cheek, stating "Wow, [you] must have an awful lot of f= ree time on your hands", The easiest question on last week's Easy Q= uiz was about the definition of "regale". 97% of quiztakers knew that= it meant "to entertain or amuse by telling a story or recounting an experi= ence", as opposed to a second hurricane coming by after the first. If you missed out last week, it's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the = winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1698945462-40716-158--