Fark NotNewsletter: Smarch!

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1677694679-20695-28367 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 71686](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. I rea= lize weather's been weird for pretty much everyone lately, but here in cent= ral Kentucky it's unusually warm. If we can pair this with an unusual= ly cool summer I'm all for it, but I don't think that's how it works. = I read yesterday that our spring is currently three weeks ahead of schedul= e, which is problematic because March snowstorms are pretty common. W= e've got flowers and buds already, we don't usually see those until mid Apr= il. Anyhow, the weather's great, so I've moved the Fark Home Office t= o my front porch in the meantime. At 4 p.m. Thursday, i= t's the [Fark News Livestream](3D") with whoever shows up= ! We should have the usual crew, but folks have weird things schedule= d, including Christine who has a doctor appointment for what she swears is = not removing another nail from her lungs. Anyhow, it doesn't happen = often but today, I saw an article that is truly a disaster on wheels - suga= ry cereal makers are lobbying the FDA to allow them to label their cereals = as "healthy." Currently they are not allowed to do this. They c= laim this violates their corporate free speech. Facepalm goes here.&n= bsp; Anyhow, we'll have much more to talk about, although fewer shark stori= es this week. ________________________ End&= nbsp;Drew transmission ________________________&n= bsp; Top Comments= n> Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the pa= st week Funny: Subtonic let us know&n= bsp;[all the reasons today's teens don't ca= re about driving](3D") Pocket Ninja [figured out time travel](3D") Wine Sipping Elitist = strong> expressed having [impossibly= high standards](=3D" Pocket Ninja described [what HBO's "The Last Of Us" is about](3D") beezeltown considered [w= hy a certain question would be on an electrical engineering exam](3D" farkitallletitend figured out [why nobody wants to drive anymore](3D" NeoCortex42 = ng> shared [a bit of trivia about the = origins of Wikipedia](3D".=) sxacho had a theory on why drivers were ignoring chevrons indicati= ng an upcoming change in a tunnel beezeltown share= d [a helpful cleaning supplies hack](3D")= > (don't do this) The Dog Ate My Homework told us = ;[how to make sure your edibles aren't ta= inted with fentanyl](3D") Smart: Noah_Tall = ng> showed us [the warnings people get= before crashing their cars coming out of a Seattle tunnel](3D"https://w=) P= ocket Ninja discovered [the = secret to getting a school club shut down](3D" rnatalie = thought about [which company could've= been the big online retailer of today](3D"https://=) NewportBarGuy = g> had [praise for Ernie Hudson](3D"=) HugeMistake looked at [some of the problems Marvel movies are facing](3D" Crazy Talk= Al had [advice for those w= ho question some of the science in "The Last Of Us"](3D"https=) Wadded B= eef had a theory on why Ama= zon is suddenly requiring employees to be back in the office at least three= days a week Benevolent Misanthrope shared [this one weird trick for having a perfectly-= shoveled path](3D") CSB Sunday Morning theme: [Hand-me-downs](3D") Smart: Skerry_Monkey = strong> [got a hand-me-down car from an unl= ikely source](3D"=) Smart Honorable Mention (since many Farkers did the= opposite of the headline instructions): catmandu = g> [recreated a sweet memory](3D") Fun= ny: AgentKGB's [mom had an ulterior motive](3D" Funny Honorable Mention (since m= any Farkers did the opposite of the headline instructions): hubiestubert [beat everyone to= the altar and Grandma's recipes](3D"ht=) Politics Funny: scottydoesntknow cited [more of Scott Adams' findings on how mean Black people are to white peopl= e](3D" RedPhoenix122 [w= anted to see Adams take over for another cartoonist](3D" nicholas= m schumacher [posted improved Di= lbert comic strips](3D"http=) Notabunny [added to complaints on Fox News about stars such as Julia = Roberts not being at the scene of the Ohio train derailment](3D" = WordsnCollision commented on [Vladimir Putin crossing "the START line" (suspending the New START nucle= ar arms reduction treaty)](3D" Politics Smart: s= pongeboob had [a theory abou= t Marjorie Taylor Greene](3D=) Private_Citizen looked at= [the reasons behind President Joe Bid= en's visit to Ukraine](3D") Lsherm analyzed [what went wrong with Dilbert](3D") Benev= olent Misanthrope had an idea after [an Alaskan lawmaker said something confusing about kids dying of a= buse being a benefit to society](3D" because at least they don't cost any mo= re money. [At = least they listened to the letters](3D"=) refudiate [refuted a name Joe Biden's critics call him](3D")= Top Contest Entries= span> Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week = Photoshops: verchad [mocked us and insulted our parents](3D" RedZoneTuba = ong> showed us [a shark relationship p= roblem](3D"https://=) verchad [ma= de a bug into a feature in a program](3D" samsquatch [stopped to pick up Clarabelle](3D") whatsupchuck discovered [Be= aker blowing his stack](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector made= [a fairy armadiillillillo](3D") RedZoneTuba got a netwo= rk to sponsor this amusement park Yammering_Splat_Vector = trong> hinted that [these girls were t= hieves](3D"http=) hammettman [made a streetlight into streetlights](3D" samsquatch's= [tower was subtly happy to see us](3D")= Farktography theme: [Get to the Point](3D") common sense is an oxymoron w= on with a photo of [a halfling hawk's = hazardous hook](3D"http=) Fark He= adlines of the Week A selection of some of the top headl= ines from last week [The pain in Spain is caused mainly by girthy trains](3D"=) [Should have buried h= im a foot deeper](3D") [In the wake of President Jimmy Carter being admitted to = hospice care, Americans have questions. Such as, what is hospice care? Is t= here pizza there? Can I bring my guns? Do they have parking big enough for = my SUV?](3D=) [Russia sets sights on Baltics, Mediterrane= an. No word on Boardwalk, Park Place](3D"https://=) [U-2 takes great Pride in taking a Bad ass picture = from an Elevation above the Chinese spy balloon. Hopefully it doesn't induc= e Vertigo, because this picture is being released With Or Without You](3D") [Jar Jar is d= oing wonderful things in the Senate](3D") [This just in from the Beating-a-Dead-Horse Dept: High doses of ivermectin= don't help with COVID](3D") Titanic loses out to Way of Water. Thi= s is not a repeat from 1912 [Worl= d's oldest Hebrew Bible could sell at auction for $50 million, become most = expensive historical document ever sold. I've heard of propheteering but th= is is ridiculous](3D") [NYC Mayor: You = can't stay home in your pajamas all day. Employees: Pajamas? This isn't dre= ss up day](3D=) Fark Weird N= ews Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we concluded that whil= e there is still a market for Googie architecture, there simply aren't= any architects willing to build it. On the Quiz itself, no less than five = quiztakers made it into the 1000 club with perfect 11 out of 11s. Joelogon came out on top with 1036, followed by D= ata in second with 1022 and Denjiro in third= with 1006, Theaetetus made fourth with 1003, and spudbeach squeezes it into the 1000 club with an even 10= 00. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about t= he new "Oasis" restaurant locations popping up around the US. Only 23% of q= uiztakers knew that this was a concept store from Subway where you could ch= arge your EV while enjoying your sandwich outdoors at a picnic table while = your kids play in the grass. Taco Bell is adding charging stations to at le= ast 100 California stores this year but isn't adding outdoor spaces, while = a McDonald's franchisee actually opened a store in North Carolina back in 2= 009 with a charging station, but the company hasn't done a lot since then h= ere in the US. The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz = was about a newly discovered unpublished photo from 1963 found in a Bachman= n Turner Overdrive CD purchased from a thrift store. 87% of quiztakers were= able to put "November 22" and "Texas" together and come up with John F. Ke= nnedy. The photo is of the President and First Lady in their motorcade in D= allas sometime between 11:55 AM and 12:30 PM on November 22. [reminder to s= elf: do not make pun about "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet"", "Roll On Down the= Highway", or especially "Shotgun Rider"] The hardest question on l= ast week's Easy Quiz was about where to pick up Shrimp Nibblers, specifical= ly the new limited-time-only Sriracha Shrimp Nibblers. Only 32% of quiztake= rs knew that this was a menu item at the nation's oldest fast food chain, W= hite Castle. Jack in the Box did once serve "Crispy Golden Shrimp" as= a meat option in their 80s-era "Dinner in the Box" or on a salad, but that= 's pretty much it. Bubba Blue would not be impressed. And apparently no one= else was either, as it was quietly discontinued when Dinner in the Box wen= t away. The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about whi= ch former president once saved Canada from a major nuclear disaster. 95% of= quiztakers knew that Jimmy Carter led a team to save the Chalk River Nucle= ar Research Facility after a series of human errors led to a meltdown. Hey,= we can't all be badass fighter pilots like George H W Bush, who received t= hree Air Medals, a Presidential Unit Citation, and the Distinguished Flying= Cross in a career that involved 58 combat missions. If you m= issed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on t= he Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that you know a few of the answers. Congrat= ulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1677694679-20695-28367--