Fark NotNewsletter: It's farking June already

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1654113956-41522-48848 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 82682](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. I pretty= much took the rest of the week off last week. Got see Storm graduate= from high school, hung out with family for a bit, got some long bike rides= in. I jumped back into the news cycle maelstrom yesterday and we're = in a weird cycle right now: All the air in the room is being sucked up by T= exas and the Depp trial, but meanwhile super interesting stuff is floating = around out there. Wired.com figured out who owns 4chan, James Webb pi= cs are coming July 12th, GM's kicking off an EV price war. Super inte= resting stuff today. The [Fark News Livestrea= m](=3D") is back Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern with me, Dill, Lucky Yates, and ma= ybe Rebecca Watson - Christine is currently in international travel hell; c= an't wait to hear what debacles she runs into when she's back. I have= a huge pull list of articles since we didn't stream last week, so I can't = promise we'll do all these. But so far the article about a survey of = online Chicago gamblers has possibly the densest number of buried ledes I'v= e ever seen. Somehow dogs in San Diego are testing positive for narco= tics after going out on walks. And a Name and Likeness Troll is going= after Elvis impersonators in Las Vegas. And much more. ________________= ________ End Drew transmission __= ______________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest= comments from the past week Funny: Russ1642 = trong> narrated a video of [a semi-tru= ck losing its back tires](=3D" weddingsinger considered&= nbsp;[what early drafts of Anakin and Padme= were like](3D") ([for context](3D".=)) Raider_dad passed on [a fi= nal message from Ray Liotta](3D" Madison_Smiled explain= ed [why you'd have a hot tub built int= o the living room floor](3D"=) LordOfThePings described a= recent photo of [a smiling Dick Van= Dyke on his way to the gym](3D"https:=) a particular individual = > was [particular about measurements= a> WhiskeySticks thought](3D".=)[a fistfight between an airport employee and a passenger could have= been better](3D" NeoCortex42 helpfully showed us = [what a poorly-phrased sentence in an artic= le was describing](3D") DannyBrandt imagined the scene w= hen [a Hobby Lobby was hit by a tornad= o](3D"=) Prank Call of Cthulhu found [a photo from the Uvalde Police Department](3D") = Smart: Parthenogenetic [hoped Uvalde, Texas police would be appropriately protected](3D" > Clarence Brown discussed [a report on sex abuse coverups in the Southern Baptist Church= a> JessieL pitched](3D" new reality show as an answer to one about young "snowflakes"](3D" bearded clamorer had [advice for the future owner of a converted church with a hot tub on the b= ell tower](3D" Ivo Shandor showed us [why Border Patrol would be in Uvalde](3D") dba= ggins discussed [how prepar= ed police in Uvalde should've been for a school shooting](=3D" daf= fy shared [a first-hand acco= unt of how terribly dogs in puppy mills are treated](3D"htt=) thealgor= erhythm pointed out a frigh= tening thing about mass shooter drills in schools CSB Sunday= Morning theme: [When school let out for summer](3D"ht=) Smart: TwowheelinTim's user na= me checked out Funny: The Pope of Manwich Vill= age [partied on the bus ride home=](3D"=) Politics Funny: Prank Call of Cthulhu = ong> had [a suggestion for future prot= ests against circumcision](3D"=) I just lurk here was&nbs= p;[prepared for problems with the food sup= ply](3D") Sliding Carp told us [how Herschel Walker ended his statement about the potential fo= r new gun laws](3D") kabloink had [words of wisdom for those of us who're surviving on cat fo= od](3D") Mojongo [improv= ed this Trump-lover's shirt](3D" Politics Smart: = Bootleg looked at the Texas= Dept. of Public Safety chief mentioning that a killer was into "cyber gami= ng" and "group gaming" when discussing possible motive Great= _Milenko considered Republi= cans complaining about Democrats being disruptive DoBeDoBeDo= discussed [the purpose of t= he Second Amendment](3D"ht=) theteacher examined [discussion about averting school shootings by "= hardening" schools](3D") grokca [hung a Fark tag on Ted Cruz](3D" Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted co= ntest entries from last week Photoshops: Yammeri= ng_Splat_Vector showed [some= one who wished she'd gotten a dog instead](3D" RedZoneTuba = ng> gave [a very weird kiss](3D"=) tasteme [thanked us for not= icing this rock](3D"https=) Terrapin Bound [restored this old painting](3D") west.la.lawyer = rong> is apparently [into this sort of= thing](3D"htt=) RedZoneTuba found out that [shirtless Putin's been riding various animals for a l= ong time](3D") west.la.lawyer [protected some giants](3D" kabloink [prepared the battlecat](3D") Redwing = g> decided to [make all our dreams com= e true](3D"https://w=) Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us [Darth Vader's formal helmet](3D") Fark= tography theme: [The I's H= ave It](3D"ht=) This one ended in a tie between Morchella= g>'s [glittery grackle](3D"=) and Herb Utsmelz's rising = railway Fark Headlines o= f the Week A selection of some of the top headlines from = last week [Smallpox was wiped off the face of the earth, but= monkeypox appears on the other end](3D"=) [Thieves = take $23,000 in merchandise from Normal Walmart. Bizarro Walmart unscathed](3D"242=)[Ancient Neanderthals were tolerant of clim= ate change. Modern Neanderthals are as well](3D".=) [Open "mass shootin= g_article form.docx" - populate local fields and names](3D") [Fark dot com: American Folklife and Mythology, Drew Curtis: Phi= lanthropist Playboy Author](3D") [Manitoba cheese truck catches fire. Where was th= e cheese from? Well, we know it wasn't from Wisconsin because there was no = fondue lack](3D") [Oil extinguishes= Flames](3D"https=) [Good news, everybody. You have a new way = to spend your day pissing yourself off](3D"https://w=) [The wheels wheels wheels wheels wheels wheels wheels wheels tracks = tracks on the bus go 'round and 'round](3D") [Bright Eyes singer walks off stage after two songs, con= fusing everyone who thought that he would turn around](3D") [Here he comes. Here comes Speed Racer. He= 's a remake on wheels. He's on Apple and he's gonna be chasin' after someon= e](3D") [Pr= otestors were unpaid but gladly accepted tips](3D"=) [Zelenskyy gives his condolences to America as he too unde= rstands what it's like to have your country regularly attacked by an organi= zation strongly supported by Republicans](3D") [Palm oil firms violate legal requirements to pay indigenous tribes $= 90 million worth of plasma per year, promise they'll make it up with energo= n or corbomite next Tuesday](3D") [Head of the European Cent= ral Bank says crypto isn't worth the paper it's printed on](3D") [Starbucks= is leaving Russia, to be replaced with Tsarbucks](3D") [Laser-guided, microscopic robotic crabs. Next up: quantum-pow= ered nanoscopic robotic syphilis](3D") [For the first time in over 20= 0 years, alewives have naturally made their way from the Atlantic Ocean to = Maine's China Lake. Scotchhusbands still MIA](3D") [Aggressi= ve dolphins are a threat to Texans, according to the NOAA, NFL insiders](3D")= Fark Weird News Quiz= pan> (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another f= un time on the Quiz this week, where we learned that carpentry is a skill n= ot easily emulated through YouTube videos. And we have three entries i= nto the 1000 Club, where I was planning on sharing some of my freshly cured= and smoked Canadian bacon but it was just too darn good so there's none le= ft. On the Quiz itself, WoolyManwich came out on top with = a score of 1024, followed by bud jones in second with= 1019 and wearsmanyhats in third with 1010, 1981.911.sc made fourth with 967, and Telephone = Sanitizer Second Class made it into the top five with 940. = The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about why a woman was try= ing to drill through a 30 ft. wall encompassing HMP Belmarsh, one of the mo= re notorious lockups for miscreants in the UK. Only 36% of quiztakers caugh= t the story about her trying to free Julian Assange, apparently believing t= he Australian could shrink himself down enough to pass through the less tha= n 1-inch hole she was attempting to make. The noise and the large "Jailbrea= k in Progress" sign she brought probably didn't help, either. = The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which man-made lake= was nearly 180 ft. off its high water mark and at only 30% of capacity. 95= % of quiztakers recognized Lake Mead as the country's largest freshwater re= servoir. Big Bear Lake and Lake Champlain are both naturally formed. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the only goo= d Pauly Shore film, "Encino Man." Only 51 % of quiztakers knew that Pauly t= eamed up with Samwise Gamgee to find Robot Man. It seems everyone remembers= it as Brendan Fraser's first big film, and of course Pauly Shore, but no o= ne remembers the guy who is arguably a far bigger star right now than = either of them - and had just as many lines. The easiest quest= ion on last week's Easy Quiz was about who's guitar fetched $4.5 million at= a recent auction. 94% of quiztakers recognized Kurt Cobain as the guy who = recorded "Nevermind" and "In Utero". Think about that the next time you hea= r "Unplugged" and Cobain's offhand comment about someone wanting to sell hi= m Lead Belly's guitar for $500,000 and David Geffen refusing to fund it.&nb= sp; If you missed out last week, it's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D") now that you know a few of the = answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on= Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1654113956-41522-48848--