Fark NotNewsletter: Drew's running out of serial, but we have a new anthology

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1608140332-43903-55799 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 3428](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone, hope your week is going well. We're = currently going through Headline of the Year votes to see who won. We= 'll be announcing the winners next Wednesday on the [Fark News Livestream](3D"), so tune in then to see who won. Speaking= of the Fark News Livestream, no stream today, however we'll return on Thur= sday at 5 p.m. Things have been getting weirder the farther away we g= et from the presidential election, in fact we've almost been able to do an = entire livestream without mentioning Covid or politics. Crazy times w= e live in. Friday we'll be wrapping up our Fark Movie Night(s) of Fl= ash Gordon 1936 serials, which have been surprisingly enjoyable to watch.&n= bsp; Sadly the honey badger from episode 5 has not made a return appearance= , however we did get to see Prince Vultan try to hit on Dale via shadow pup= pets (spoiler - it did not work). Don't worry if you missed the earli= er episodes, none of it makes much sense and you won't have any trouble jum= ping right in. ________________________ A special message fro= m toraque: ________________________&nb= sp; The fifth annual Fark Fiction Anthology is here! From acr= oss the far reaches of the internet, the community at Fark.com presents... = "[Fark in the Time of COVID: The 2020 Fark Ficti= on Anthology](3D")." Our editors have worked feverishly to bring you t= he best short fiction of 2020 from the minds and imaginations at Fark, the = online community where snark is king and wit reigns supreme. Time travel. M= urder. Vampires. A basement apartment for rent. More vampires. Zombies. Ali= ens. Even more vampires! Whatever that thing was. And last but not least, F= lorida. And even better, for the fifth year in a row, all proceeds f= rom the sale of this anthology will benefit an excellent children's charity= [chosen by the posters at Fark.com](3D"). So mask up you= r squirrel and sanitize the slatted chair of woe, because this is Fark, In = the Time of COVID. ________________________ We now return you= to your usual Fark NotNewsletter. ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny: NewportBarGuy felt [extremely comfortable with the idea of passing a co= p car in traffic](3D") jst3p [had some work to do](3D" gilgigamesh reveal= ed [a flamboyant restauranteur and TV s= how host's nickname](3D"=) Marcus Aurelius figured out&nb= sp;[what aliens from the Galactic Federatio= n have for us](3D") MBooda knew something about [a sheriff's office that's investigating a scho= ol officer who's accused of inappropriately texting a14-year-old](3D") brap took up the [legal = fight for a male high school student who was suspended for wearing nail pol= ish](3D" TheAlgebraist had more information about = [a father who's being told by the city to ta= ke down a tent that's used to shield his disabled daughter in the driveway Pocket Ninja shared](3D")[helpful advice for when you're passing police cars in traffic](3D" Meat's dream commented on [the production values of SpaceX's Starship test flight](3D" hobnail [didn't wait for a pande= mic](3D"https://=) Smart: Glockenspiel Hero gave = an example of [how it's not a big deal = for a guy to wear nail polish](3D"https://w=) BigNumber12 dis= cussed [enjoying that someone accused o= f a heinous crime is having a hard time in prison](3D"=) dsmith42 talked about [why Patty Jenkin= s and Gal Gadot each received $10 million to praise the streaming deal with= HBO Max](3D"h=) Great_Milenko gave an argument for [disliking Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the = Fire"](3D") Jack Sabbath shared [a fun fact about Guy Fieri](3D") edmo disag= reed with [an earlier interpretation of= "We Didn't Start the Fire"](3D"=) The Ice Queen has = ;[a relative who doesn't understand cause an= d effect](3D") blastoh had [a different take beyond uncomfortable desires for why gender roles = are sometimes strictly enforced](3D" Myrdinn considered= [the evilest creatures from Star Trek jayhawk88 compared](3D")[what it would be like if various Star Trek aliens came to Earth](3D" CSB Sunday Morning: [Chr= istmas party stories](3D") Smart: Someone Else's Alt = rong> learned that [sometimes the best= parties aren't planned](3D"http=) Funny (tie): W_Scarlet = rong> [didn't get invited to many Christmas = parties as a youngster for a reason, apparently](3D") Funny (tie):= > The5thElement witnessed [what happens if you drunkenly try to fight the commanding officer](3D" > CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to sh= are true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have = a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please [contact Farkba= ck](3D" ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/even= ing. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high li= kelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be. TotalFark Discussion: Note: This section can only be accessed = by [TotalFarkers](3D") Smart: Driedsponge = pointed out that [a lot of au= thors are jerks](=3D" Funny: CommieTaoist [explained the meaning of a cord attached to a ho= ok](3D") and looping [over the top of a door= a> Smart: whatshisname replied to a Farker wh= o claimed to have](3D"https://w=)["won the war" afte= r their wife had "won the first battle"](3D"https=) Smart: Unik= itty explained [why it used= to be that fathers were not allowed in the room while their partners gave = birth](=3D" Smart: ytterbium's kid [apparently gaslit a tree](3D") Funny: croesius let us know [wh= at libranoelrose's cat was thinking](3D" Politic= s Funny: Sam Malone pointed out that [Rudy Giuliani is in a really hairy situation](3D")mrshowrules reminded us that [the Trump team still had more voting issues to challenge in cou= rt](3D" Biscuit Tin tried to [look on the bright side when it comes to the angry people on Pa= rler](3D" andrewagill had [a job in mind for Dianne Feinstein](3D" Weatherkiss = ong> knew [how Donald Trump will still = win even though the U.S. Supreme Court rejected Texas' case](3D"=) = Politics Smart: Devolving_Spud had a message for&= nbsp;[people the Arizona GOP asked if they w= ere "willing to give [their lives] for this fight"](3D") Magorn = strong> summarized [the reasons the fi= nancial situation with Jared Kushner's 666 Fifth Avenue property looks susp= icious](3D"http=) TWX looked at [what would happen if election results in some states were thrown ou= t altogether](3D" Biscuit Tin had a theory on [why Joe Biden won in Georgia](3D") dv-= ous [crunched the a-hole numbers t= o figure out the greater a-hole](3D"=) Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest= entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down Photoshops: USAF Retired's [Photoshop is great at first, but quickly loses its flavor= a> opalakea made](3D")[the worst Chia Pet ever](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector br= ought [an old friend to the party](3D".=)retrophil found someone else for [the lead role in "Basic Instinct"](3D") Wrongo = trong> had [a very strict English teach= er](3D".=) Yammering_Splat_Vector [got this spider ready to light up the town](3D" Yammering= _Splat_Vector gave us [a meme= nto of this contest](3D" hail2daking designed [a 2020 Chia Pet that also serves as a review of= this year](3D") Wrongo put [Steve Buscemi in yet another iconic role](3D" Yammering_= Splat_Vector added a couple = of helpful tools to this early all-terrain vehicle Fartist F= riday: [Create a 2020 holiday card using MS = Paint](3D"=) Petite Mel's card featured [a muffled holiday greeting](3D") This = ;week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake= g>: Haiku odes to wintertime Farktography: [Back alley](3D") bobug took&n= bsp;[a shot between the cannon bays](3D") Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to = suggest a Farktography theme, please contact [Elsinore=](3D". Fark Weird Ne= ws Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although I'm still not sure wh= at this year's "hottest gift from that aunt who you see once a year" will b= e. On the Quiz itself, HighZoolander is the only one in th= e end (in first place) with a score of 971, followed by Yamane= ko2 in second with 933 and Denjiro in third = with 917. Panic Near Detroit makes fourth with 915, a= nd tin_man rounds out the top five with 897. T= he hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over the words "Spicy", "K= OC", and "GAB*TCH" and why they were in the news. Only 18% knew that they w= ere spray-painted on a church in downtown Charleston, SC by three miscreant= s who were promptly caught with the spray-paint still on their hands. Still= no word as to what they meant by these things, although chicken franchises= are checking the security around their secret recipes. The easiest = question on the Hard Quiz was over ambergris and how it turned a 60-year-ol= d fisherman into a multimillionaire overnight. 95% of quiztakers knews that= ambergris is the vomit of sperm whales, and is highly valued in the perfum= e industry because of its ability to hold scents and make them last for a w= hile. So yeah, those folks walking around in $200/bottle scents are really = wearing whale bile. The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about = which character said "There are three things in life that people like = to stare at: a flowing stream, a crackling fire, and a Zamboni clearing the= ice". 45% of quiztakers knew that it was said by Charlie Brown in the 1980= episode "She's a Good Skate, Charlie Brown". My research was unable to com= e up with any Mork and Mindy episodes relating to ice skating or hockey, al= though that was probably due to budget constraints - Robin Williams on ice = would have been great. The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was abo= ut which famous Dwayne had released a "Dwanta Claus" ice cream promotion th= at included a "Spiked Eggnog" flavor made with his own tequila. 85% of quiz= takers knew that it was Dwayne Johnson rather than Dog the Bounty Hunter. I= mean, I could see a tequila endorsement from Dog, but ice cream? His would= probably taste like leather and taser darts. If you missed out on t= he Quiz last week, you can [catch up on the Fark Weird News = Quiz here](=3D". Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be= doing it all again this week. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1713, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1608140332-43903-55799--