Fark NotNewsletter: Drew's peddling his sparkly hooves across New York

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1549390640-20842-59642 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 0949](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Happy championship parade day, Boston. You'd think = they'd be all paraded out given the past few years of their sports team suc= cesses. However, they also like skipping work and day drinking, so I = doubt they'll find their enthusiasm waning anytime soon. As f= or other news-related stuff, the State of the Union drinking game is tonigh= t. Choose your terms carefully or at least notify your local hospital= to fire up the stomach pump in anticipation of your arrival. I shoul= d be in rare form - they scheduled a KY basketball game right before i= t. In other news, its my birthday this week! My friend Buck Wo= lf from the Huffington Post recently talked me into cycling 500 miles from = Manhattan to Buffalo in late July. [I'm raising $3,500 for the Roswell Park Alliance Foundation](3D"), whi= ch claims to spend all their donations on fighting cancer as opposed to hid= ing crashed alien spaceships and tricking Jonathan Frakes into doing voice = overs for questionable Fox documentaries. Either way, I figure it's a= worthy cause. To sweeten the deal, if I hit my fundraising goal on or befo= re my birthday, Thursday February 7th, I promise not only to buy and wear t= he "F*ck Cancer" socks pictured in the stock photo I randomly chose for the= fundraiser, but I'll have my daughter Sierra, age 9, paint my toenails all= kinds of glittery fancy colors for the ride. All the bronies will be= super jealous. So if you're a fan of fighting cancer, hiding evidence of a= liens, and making me dress funny, this is your golden opportunity to [donate now](3D"). Also, that's a weird fet= ish to have. Speaking of which, the ride takes a full week and stops= in all the major New York cities. So you know what that means - Fark= parties! I'm pretty sure we're stopping in or near Albany, Syracuse, Roche= ster, and Buffalo on the ride. And as an added bonus, Fark turns 20 y= ears old next week! So we've got something to celebrate! More on Fark20 in = the next Fark NotNewsletter! ________________________ We = now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter. __________________= ______ Comment Votes= u> Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from = the past week Funny: Feral Cat With Scissors = trong>was [adamantly opposed to having = a dress code for parents visiting schools](3D"=) naughtyrev = g>realized [just how poorly men treat a= certain woman who can't climax](3D".=) Naido had [a good question about a Boy Scout who had a gun= pulled on him for putting a flyer on a door](3D") I Have A Bo Bur= nham GIF For That had [a bette= r place to put a Pop Tart instead of sticking it in your fanny](3D" MrBallou summed up [a very = Canadian problem](3D" revrendjim found a [problem with David Dunning's advice on avoiding the D= unning-Kruger effect](3D") the_innkeeper agreed that anot= her Farker's [sister was responsible fo= r the Space Shuttle Challenger explosion](3D"=) Slypork re= ferenced [a 1972 film](3D"=) ho= bnail responded to the assertion that [a man is gay if he admires a woman's derriere](3D" mark= ie_farkie figured out [what wa= s happening in someone's selfie](3D" Bonus FarkStaff Pick:giantmeteor had [som= e strong words for the planet Neptune](3D" Smart: NotARocketScientist explained [why some doctors won't accept the children of anti-vaxxers as patients](3D" > Ambivalence presented [evidence that windchill is not meaningless](3D" MattytheMo= use shared a personal story about [the implication that anti-vaxxers would rather their children die th= an have autism](3D" Xanlexian showed [the good that can be caused by anti-vaxxers](3D") hobnail responded to the assertion that [a man is gay if he admires a woman's derriere](3D") = winedrinkingman discussed [how= 50 guns might have gone missing from the Maricopa County Sheriff's office = when Joe Arpaio was in charge](3D" vudukungfu wondered i= f [a newly-discovered problem means we = can talk about gun control now](3D") sigdiamond2000 thoug= ht that [being a "men's rights activist= " sounds like a real treat](3D"=) eurotrader had advice fo= r [a woman who can't get joy](3D") wejash [predicted what a cop w= ill do in the future](3D"https:/=) TotalFark Discussion: Note: Thi= s section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers F= unny: Badafuco learned that [young people aren't going to understand all the old references Funny: merrillvillain helped a Farker who&= nbsp;](3D")[couldn't get the house heated above 67= °](3D") Smart: MIAppologia's solution sounde= d like [a lot more work](3D"=) Funn= y: Barry McCockner taught some students [to be excited about listing their sources](3D") Funny: EatHam really [worked hard at messing with a Canadian coworker](3D" Polit= ics Funny: scottydoesntknow figured that [Robert Mueller will do what it takes to get Rog= er Stone to cooperate](3D") naughtyrev [explained the cold weather to Donald Trump](3D") g= rokca pointed out that [Trump = shouldn't worry about his doctor revealing how much Trump weighs now](3D" Farking Clown Shoes [alter= ed the White House Press Secretary's appearance](3D" cameroncrazy= 1984 explained [why there won'= t be another government shutdown over the border wall](3D=) Politi= cs Smart: Snapper Carr commented on the idea that&= nbsp;[Trump is destroying Ronald Reagan's le= gacy](3D") mrshowrules had tips for [determining if Trump is lying or telling the truth](3D") weddingsinger thought that [comparing Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to Trump overlooks the essence of= Trump's personality](3D" NewportBarGuy considered = [how the U.S. intelligence community probabl= y feels right now](3D") BizarreMan responded to [Trump's angry tweet about a new book by Cliff S= ims](3D") Contest Votes= pan> Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed fr= om highest number of votes down Photoshops: Herb= Utsmelz showed someone [scrat= ching an itchy leg](3D" RedZoneTuba [misplaced something very important while on vacation](3D") RedZoneTuba found [a very= lonely candidate](3D" cowgirl toffee [helped Drew get a side job](3D") = Snubnose [sensed a presence](3D"=) = RedZoneTuba gave us [a moody twosome](3D" RedZoneTuba found [a photo of the first telephone operator](3D") Yammering_Splat_Vector brought ou= t the big lizard RedZoneTuba [flew a Zeppelin too low](3D" Snubnose [needs to get Drew a tutor](3D") Farktography: Farktography Contest No. 717: "[Reflections 4](3D")" ended in a tie between BecauseISaidSo's [shiny C= hicago bean](3D" and beerrun's [cloudy-eyed baseball player](3D") Farktography is Fark= 's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography = theme, you can contact [Elsinore](=3D" or stop by th= e [Farktography Forum](3D"). Upcoming Fark Parties See Farkers up close in their unna= tural habitats Friday, February 8: [Eugene, OR Far= k Party](3D") Wednesday, February 27: [Las Vegas Fark and 50th Birthday Party](3D") Friday, March 15: [Fort Collins, CO Fark Party](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz Results= u> (brought to you by ox45tallboy) = We had another great time on the quiz while= frozen in last week. Unfortunately, no one made it into the 1000 club, whi= ch is a shame because the slumber party on Sunday evening was a rousing suc= cess, especially DisseminationMonkey's 18-layer-dip. = Well, it was supposedly 18 layers, but no one made it past layer 11 because= the chips were too short. Anyway, Denjiro came out on top= with 952, followed by FrancoFile in second with= 949 and jaksmata in third with 926. FormerJanitor took fourth with 906, and the number five slo= t goes to LizardOnAStick with 854. I'm guessing = scores will be better this week since half the country was too frozen to le= ave the house, and subsisted on milk and bread sandwiches and threw things = at anyone who suggested "Netflix and Chill". The hardest question on= the Hard Quiz was over which country was the first to sink their claws int= o Google for violations of the E.U.'s General Data Protection Regulati= on, which provides consumer privacy protections. Only 30% of quiztakers kne= w that it was France who wouldn't surrender against the 800 lb. gorilla Goo= gle has become. I mean, you only have to go to any beach in the south of Fr= ance to see just how much they all value their privacy over there. The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over which one of those wack= y British royals made tabloid headlines for the week. 82% of quiztakers kne= w that although Prince Philip has retired from public life, he apparently s= till likes to go for a drive every now and again in a 6+-year-old low-end R= ange Rover. The oddest part of the story was that reporters witnessed anoth= er of the same model SUV being dropped off at his residence later in the we= ek. Not even an upgrade? I'm thinking maybe his wife was not amused and was= making him drive that as punishment for something. The hardest ques= tion on the Easy Quiz was over the name Nabisco has settled on for their ne= w bag of creme with a few chocolate wafers inside, swimming around like the= prize in your Froot Loops in 1983. Surprisingly, only 34% of quiztakers kn= ew that they had settled on "Most Stuf" as the name, although I think they = could add an "-ly" to the end for accuracy. Which means that 64% of quiztak= ers thought "Over Stuf" was a good name. Perhaps I should trademark that fo= r when they decide to start leaving out the chocolate wafers. The ea= siest question on the Easy Quiz was over the Grand Basset Griffon Vend&eacu= te;en and the Nederlandse Kooikerhondjes. 85% of quiztakers knew that these= were new dog breeds introduced as categories in the upcoming Westminster K= ennel Club Dog Show. The few times I've watched it, I've found that the fan= cier the name of the breed, the more likely it is to do its business on the= carpet, so I'm expecting to see some leg humping of the judges out of at l= east one of these. If you missed last week's quiz, you can [catch up on it here](3D"). Congratulations to the winners, and later t= his week we'll be testing the knowledge you gained from sitting around in y= our jammies last week when it was too cold to venture outwards. = Fark Headlines of the Week (= brought to you by blythe) Welcome back to Head= line of the Week! We had a great time with Headline of the Year = 2018 and we're just starting to work through December and January Head= lines of the Week to get caught up with this new year! Thanks as alw= ays to our amazing submitters and to our TotalFark voters. These are = the headlines we love to share and say "*this* is Fark." Here are a = few of our favorites this week, [check out all the Fark Headlines of the Week here=](=3D"). Main ["Inside the mind of a plagiarist" (easi= est headline I ever submitted)](3D"htt=) Sports [Man name= d Zebulon attacks firefighter after Browns game. May his punishment be watc= hing all future Browns games with Hue Jackson](3D" Geek [Time travel is possible, but only if you have infinite mass. Well, I'v= e been off my diet for a while now](3D") Entertainment [No, James Bond has a drinking solution](3D") Politics = [He did not slap them in the mouth. He did not slap them north, = nor south. He did not kick them in the balls. He did not throw them from hi= s Halls. He rejected all their pleas, and slammed those whose job's to "spe= ak for the trees"](3D") Business [His name was Ghosn,= he headed Nissan. With a Brazil apartment as his lair, and misconduct down= to there. He did a tap dance, he saw his big chance. But Nissan thought it= odd, since he's indicted for tax fraud. At the Copa, Copacabana](3D" Discussion [As Infrastructure Week comes to a close= , join us for the MSNBC FRESH HELL FRIDAY thread. Fun starts at 8pm EST, BY= OB, IYKWISAITYDNTTAWWT](3D"htt=) Yawl shud be asahmed four sha= mming that farker hoo mispeled himp erliar D'awww [Needles to say, spotting a rare albino porcupine waddling through a sno= wy forest is an une-quilled delight](3D") Food [A hot= dog is a taco, a steak is a salad and a Pop-Tart is a calzone. Let the Cub= e Rule explain](3D" ________________________ Voting for headli= nes is one of the perks of being a TotalFarker. You can [join = TotalFark here](3D". --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). 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