Fark NotNewsletter: Making Stuff Up

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1725543464-41923-8867 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ________________________ Hey everyone hope your week's been well.= span> Getting final details worked ou= t but - next week we'll start selling tickets for the [(October 12th) Fark 25th anni= versary event](3D"). We should also have a hotel room block nailed down= for those interested. Hotel prices in Lexington have been artificial= ly high because local hotels are under the mistaken impression that people = are going to come into town to watch the Vandy football game. They're= starting to realize this isn't happening and prices are going lower finall= y. I'll also have a list of th= ings to do in the area - it's a great time of year to visit. The loca= l race track will be running, bourbon distillery tours, live music venues o= n Friday night, fall festivals everywhere. Thursday 4pm it's the Fark News Livest= ream with me, Dill, Lucky, and possibly Christine who has RL job stuff = going on. Normally short work weeks are tough on the news cycle but t= his week managed to over-provide. Mostly Florida picked up the slack,= I guess they're gearing up for November early. Since Santos has calm= ed down as of late, we're switching to the JDVance Gaffe of the Week and we= 've got a great one for you. Also we have some strong entries for the= AI Is Going Great feature, as well as another update on the Boeing Starlin= er debacle - Enter Space Force (echo) (echo). ___________________= _____ End Drew transmission ________= ________________ Top Comments= u> Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the = past week. If your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMon= key couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D" and [Funniest](3D" for the past month are found el= sewhere.) Funny: - Stud Gerbil[we= nt to tons of places... but ended up back in Ohio.](3D") - Sq= uid_for_Brains[sees an odd choice in decoration.](3D"https=) - Mr. Coffee Nerves[MadLibs gone wild](=3D" Smart: - mofa[reminds us how our news diet shapes us= .](3D" - bannerrefugee[shared a tale of the days wh= en social interaction was limited to either church or bomb factories.](3D" Ask Me If I Have A God Complex[PRAISE BE.](3D") - winedrinkingman[predicts these disillusioned faith= ful will reconsider their values.](3D" - ConcentricCircleJer= k[relates a historical similarity.](3D"=). - Harlee= [Even then it won't be omniscient.](3D"=) [Politics](3D" Poli= tics Funny: - Rage Against the Thorazine[foun= d a meme about the Cybertruck being Elmo's personal time machine.](3D") -&= nbsp;Znuh[summarized RFK Jr.'s Fark-worthy history.](3D"ht=) - Outshined_One[imagines the announcers' recovery in= a horrifying campaign scenario](3D". - Nick el Ass [is t= his Funniest Home Videos?](3D") Politics Smart: - Trainspotr[follows the quotes that reflect the gears in TFG'= s head turning.](3D"htt=) - gochuck[knows where you can = shove the three-legged stool metaphor.](3D" - clkeagle= ng>[considered taking advantage of TFG supporters' cognitive dissonance.](3D")= > - Private_Citizen[has an iteration of the Thoraz= ine image I somehow hadn't seen yet.](3D" -NotNewsletterMonkey -= OptionC[Wait, we've done this before?](=3D" -&nbs= p;Mentat[reflects on data points in these dueling narrativ= es](3D"htt=). Monkey's Pick I felt these= posts were exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't get many = votes. Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Funny:- Alphaxrepeated a sad observation about the phra= se "Avoid it like the plague." - macadamnut[se= es similarities in the "don't take one [X] fishing"](3D") - I= gG4[ha! Near-undetectible filterpown.](3D"=) Smart:- Bazzlex001[wonders if bribery charges should ext= end to universities.](3D" - ekdikeo4[researched pos= sible causes of Brazil banning X.](3D") [CSB](3D" Sunday Morning theme - "= ong>[Labor Day](3D")"This week, Farkers were challenged to share their Labor Day tales of "tri= als and tribulations." [Funny](3D"ht=): - Highlan= derRPI[: "It was a very weird day."](3D"=) - SloppyFre= nchKisser[regularly goes to a Hellmouth. Apparently.](3D"=) - = ;The Pope of Manwich Village[struggled against life.](3D" Lytbeirowes their soul to the company store.= [Smart](3D"=): - dbirchall[follo= ws the vaguest theme](3D"). - think_balance[quit the= ir PD job for their cousin's sake.](3D") - thealgorerhythm= trong>[can never remember when Labor Day is.](3D") - gentlema= nfarmer[survived replacing the floor.](3D".=) - Conman= [discovered just how much their job valued showing up to turn on o= ne machine.](3D"=) Top Contes= t Entries Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last week, sorted by how likely = they are to still be open. Go send in your own submissions, they're fun eve= n if you don't get the most votes! [Photoshops](3D" Since th= ere's a lot of these, everybody (and every thread) gets one and only one.- Surly U. Jest[failed to assassinate the Killer Ra= bbit of Caerbannog.](3D" - Yammering_Splat_Vector[e= ncountered rising sea levels.](3D") - samsquatch[wat= ched Amelia Earhart commit 9/11.](3D") - Nick Nostril= >[discovered an ancient wizard's home.](3D") - rnatalie= ong>[turned this shelf into a captcha.](3D") - Thoaar= >[encountered the site of a modern Batman adventure.](3D") - whither_apophis[drafted the Blackcurrant Guards.](3D"htt=) - TxRabbit[snuck knives into a baseball game.](3D"https=) - Bumcheese[encountered a polar bear, far from home.](3D"http=) -&= nbsp;whatupchuckfled from the alligator. - Terrapin Bound[started an Electric Company Fark intro.](3D=)- RedZoneTuba[was taken on an underwater adventure - TrollingForColumbine](3D" never surrender.=](3D" - Charlie Chingas[was hiat by the food ray.= a> - GaijinH](3D" Vice: After Dark.](3D" - = ;GoodDoctorB[Rocksons.](3D=) - RasIanI= ng>[did more than roll coal.](3D") - Mojongo[It was = inevitable: Pumpkin Spice](3D"). - Sensei Can You See= >[opened the squirrel's nuts. Ow.](3D") [Captions](3D" "[Caption this theatrical performance](3D")" ([image](3D")) - = RedZoneTuba[: "She walks around barefoot and then screams w= hen she steps on a Lego."](3D"=) - armycot [wishes they'd= play a different song.](3D") "[Caption t= his taste test](3D")" ([image](3D"https:/=)) - west.la.lawyer[was se= rved a mysterious white liquid.](3D") - dionysusaur[knows= , if you're drinking vodak, you're not getting another shot.](3D") "Caption these x= -ray technicians" ([image](3D"https=)) - Creoena[remembers a= certain song](3D"). - baronbloodbath[And now for somet= hing completely different.](3D") [Farktography theme:](3D" = "[Grouped Up](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged to bring us pictu= res of groups of things. - Elsinore[visited the ar= tichoke farm.](3D") - common sense is an oxymoron[ch= allenged the rare and powerful Triple Goose.](3D") - Lovesand= wich[waded through oceans and oceans of ducks.](3D"=) - spontn80[inspected these carved staves.](3D"https://=) - b= ikkurikun[bleached those skulls.](3D"=) [Upcoming= Fark Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you'= re effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang ou= t." [Submit one!](3D") [OCT. 12TH 7pm, 25th A= nniversary Fark Party @ The Lyric Theatre in Lexington KY - but wait there'= s more (TBA)](3D") Fa= rk Headlines of the Week A selection of some of the top head= lines from last week. [Try not to suck any more indictments on your way through the parking= lot!](=3D") [Telegra= m CEO Pavel Durov arrested in France STOP Authorities say service lets crim= inals operate openly STOP Please for the love of god stop using Telegram ST= OP Strongly worded letter to follow STOP](3D"=) [Hunted to extinctio= n in Northern Europe, Northern Bald Ibises have been reintroduced but do no= t know where to migrate. A teacher appears. This has to be the coolest job = ever](3D") [University of Virginia tours that mentioned founder T= homas Jefferson was a slave owner suspended because some UVA alumni had a p= roblem with that. Should they have mentioned Jefferson the slavef*cker inst= ead?](3D"=) [Brazil X's X](3D"=) [Some people claim the Telegram app isn= 't controlled by Russia, but it turns out that arresting the CEO completely= disrupts Russian military communications](=3D") [You red that right](3D") [Rupees? At least the museum has a heart. Click the Link](3D") [Vermillion shot by homeowner, and is his face red](3D") [Swedish chef in critical condition after being borked in head n= ear London carnival. Police are asking for information, no strings attached=](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun= time on the Quiz this week, where I learned buying "open box" from a major= retailer is likely to subject you to judgement calls from people who = don't get paid a lot of money to make these judgement calls. On the Qu= iz itself, Hooferatheart came out on top with 981, followe= d by LizardOnAStick in second with 945 and runwiz in third with 917. HFK made fourth= with 913, and DemonicGerbil was right behind in fift= h with 912. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about= which company had a great last quarter due to their acquisition of Hostess= last year. Only 32% of quiztakers knew that the J.M. Smucker Company = is now making their Twinkies. I personally think they need to work the vert= ical integration angle and get more of their jelly and peanut butter into t= heir spongecake. You know you'd try a peanut butter Zebra Cake or an o= range marmalade Ding Dong. I mean, watermelon Pop-Tarts are a thing, w= hy can't we also have grape jelly Snoballs? The easiest question on= last week's Hard Quiz was about the loudest known sound in human history. = 89% of quiztakers knew that 144 years ago people on the island of Rodrigues= heard the eruption of Krakatoa some 3.000 miles away. With sound having a = speed at sea level of 767 miles per hour, that means Rodriques residents he= ard it almost four hours after it happened, with the tsunami hitting their = island 32 hours after that. The hardest question on last week's Eas= y Quiz was about what Windows applet Microsoft was trying to get rid of in = their continuing quest to make the UI unrecognizable every few years so whe= n your Mom asks you to fix something simple on her 15-year-old laptop you l= ook like an idiot when you can't remember where to set the default printer = in Windows XP. Only 55% of quiztakers caught the article and knew Microsoft= wants to end Control Panel and have everyone use the Settings applet inste= ad. Why, I don't know, but I think all Microsoft engineers should also be r= equired to perform tech support at retirement homes where little old ladies= are still using a pristine Sony Vaio from 2004 and don't see any need to b= uy a new one when that one performs just as good as it did when they bought= it. The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what i= t means to "lollygag", the crime Skyrim players are continually warned agai= nst by former adventurers-turned city guards with old knee injuries. 90% of= quiztakers knew that it meant to loiter, or to waste time doing nothing. I= t feels odd for in-game guards to warn video game players against this, as = it seems antithetical to one's motivation in purchasing the game to begin w= ith, If you missed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News = Quiz](3D" now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again= to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 ------------=_1725543464-41923-8867--