Fark NotNewsletter: Politics Continues

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1724267496-21213-9398 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ________________________ Hey everyone hope your week's been well.= span> Just a short note this week: ti= ckets for [= the Oct 12th Fark25 event at the Lyric Theater in Lexington KY](3D"=) should g= o on sale next week assuming I can navigate the ticketing system. Thursday 4pm it's the [Fark News Livestream](3D") with me, Dill and Christine. Surpris= ingly, there has been some rather funny non-political news this week. = Among other things, not one but -two- Florida stories of a variety I have = never seen before. Just describing one of them would be enough to get= this newsletter caught in content filters at workplaces so you'll have to = tune in to hear it. ________________________ End Drew transmission ________________________ Top Interactions Some of = the best interactions from the past week. Do note: this takes prior= ity over being placed in "top comments." - [Three Cro= oked Squirrels](3D") and [abb3w](=3D" related how diff= erent Bible Discussion Study Meeting classes were back in the day. = Top Comments Some of= the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week. If you= r post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn'= t think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](=3D" and [Funniest](=3D" for the past month are found elsewhere.) = Funny: - Megathuma[theorized what a "Li= fe of Brian"-based education would look like.](3D" - Unobt= anium[had amusing, lyrics-based answers for this high-school assig= nment.](3D"=) - beezeltown[needs to call the Ghostb= usters ASAP.](3D" - aremmes[: "Unfortunately, not = all of us can afford the luxury of owning a Paul."](3D" Smart:= em> - Ker_Thwap[knows how they'd teach respect. - New Rising Sun](3D" probably right about the= source of this smoke ring.](3D" - SurfaceTension= [sees one small issue with civil asset forfeiture.](3D") - winedrinkingman[noticed how the prosecution tailored their argum= ent to the local common clay.](3D"ht=) - Private_Citizen= ng>[spotted a post on Xitter about gender-affirming care.](3D") = [Politics= ng>](3D") Politics Funny: A weird thing happened this week. Al= l the funny posts had more Smart votes than Funny. - Demetrius[shared a comic about the story behind this TFG phot= o.](3D"https=) (Bonus: [North_Central Positronics](3D"https=).) Politics Smart: - NateAsbestos[sees nothin= g wrong with farking.](3D") - Znuh[knows exactly h= ow unhealthy it is to actively seek out your trauma.](3D") - Badmoodman[spotted someone get contradicted by the news header. Monkey's Pick I felt these pos= ts were exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't get many vote= s. Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Funny: = - mrparks](3D"https:/=)[takes a guess, and shows how badly you can= guess the article based on photos.](=3D" Smart: - neongoats[dislikes the website "The Art of Manliness" (for com= pletely valid reasons)](3D"https:=) - but... it has [a really good paper airpla= ne tutorial!](3D") - Petey4335[recommends you do= n't put your plastic dishes next to the dishwasher's heating element.](3D") - Lish[has a useful tip for moving to another cou= ntry.](=3D" CSB Sunday Morning theme - "[First date jit= ters and disasters](3D")" This week, Farkers were challen= ged to swap stories about their first dates. [Funny](3D"): -&nb= sp;TexasPeace[locked their keys in the car, with the eng= ine running.](=3D" - uberalice[went out with a s= erial die-er.](3D") - Ambitwistor[got way too bea= t up on a first date.](3D") - Murflette['s date par= tner accidentally put every possible obstacle in front of them getting in t= he car.](3D") [Smart](3D"https://=): - Surly U. Jest= >[was menaced by their date's dad.](3D") - educated= g>['s date felt like it was fated. (I really hope someone could find the pos= t they mentioned!)](3D") - One thingSomeone Else's Al= t[said completely flipped the dad's opinion of them.](3D"=) -&= nbsp;cfreak['s date directed them to their future partner. Top Contest Entries= > Some of the top-voted](3D"=)contest entries from last week, sorted by how likely they are to = still be open. Go send in your own submissions, they're fun even if you don= 't get the most votes! [Photoshops](3D" Since there's a lot = of these, everybody (and every thread) gets one and only one. Excel= lent photoshops this week. - RedZoneTuba[joked a= bout the parents of a zebra.](3D") - Thoaar[- I wo= nder if this is what a drag show looks like.](3D") - Yammer= ing_Splat_Vector[cannot hide from the Pillsbury Doughboy, not even= underwater.](3D"htt=) - Surly U. Jest[encouraged Skat= er Cat's hobby.](3D") - TxRabbit[adapted a class= ic meme to dog-world.](3D") - whatsupchuck[thinks = they know where that lion mane's going to be used.](3D") - = Large Marge sent me[opened the wrong door in the Spaceballs themed= hotel.](3D"=) - Herb Utsmelz[Lake? No, wood.](3D" - Octafrye[lasso'd Shai-Hulud.](3D" - Stephen_Falken[has a giftbasket of eggs for you. No, don't l= ook inside.](3D=) - sl4psh0t[chose the wrong day t= o inspect that bush](3D" - EvaDewer[tried to use = snowball sizes to disprove global warming.](3D") - asstamas= sta[put your favorite toy into the jello mold. Now what?](3D"=) = - GoodDoctorBtaught a lizard to play the cup-shuffl= ing game. - nitropissering[still doesn't k= now what the three seashells are for.](3D") - SkoalReaver= strong>[caught Darth Vader fiddling with his chest switches.](3D") -&nbs= p;pocketgoose[ROW FASTER I HAVE A GUN](=3D" - SubsequentDamage[encountered a wizard on a plane.](=3D" [Capt= ions](3D".=): "[Caption this= moment before disaster](3D"=)" ([image](=3D" - bearded clamorer [went to the ducks.](3D"=) - Mukster [rose an arm= y to fight "Duck Duck Goose."](3D") "[Caption these conversing ca= lves](3D")" ([image](3D".=)) - bughunter [probably shouldn= 't have used that pick-up line.](3D") - Cache [took note= of the horns.](3D") "[Caption this = glaring granny](3D"=)" ([image](3D"https:/=)) - orneryredguy [blew M= itch's cover.](3D") - RedZoneTuba [knows the dangers of = Metamucil.](3D" "[Caption this first day of school](3D"http=)" (= [image](3D")) - Floki [taught a girl the "don't shoot" = pose.](3D" - EBN-OZN [welcomed the students to Uvalde E= lementary School.](3D" "[Caption these playful kittehs](=3D")" ([im= age](3D")) - Mr. Shabooboo [tuna breath.](3D" - kdawg7736 [translated a cat argument.](3D"https=) = [Farktography th= eme:](3D") "[Get Close](3D"htt=)" This week, Farkers were challen= ged to get up close and personal with the subject. We're talking super clos= e here. - turbocucumber[gifted us toe beans.](3D" - common sense is an oxymoron [should be a lot= more worried about that wasp.](3D") - MorningBreath= g>[found a frog on their plant.](3D") - Lovesandwich= g>[created a miniature garage, with miniature parts.](3D") [= Upcoming Fark Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark P= arty - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, c= ome hang out." [Submit one!](3D"=) = [OCT. 12TH= 7pm, 25th Anniversary Fark Party @ The Lyric Theatre in Lexington KY - but= wait there's more (TBA)](3D") Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of some of= the top headlines from last week. [Man Arrested For Masturbati= ng At Target; no word on whether he hit it](3D") [NY comPost accu= ses Harris campaign of making up new, more favorable headlines in links to = media articles. Can you imagine that? People just making up new headlines t= o link to stories? Who would do such a thing? Duke sucks](3D") [Three die in Scapegoa= t Wilderness plane crash. Authorities unsure who to blame at this point](3D")= [Ukraine says yeah we are in Russia all their base belong to us](3D"=) [F*ckedaroundo F= indoutus](3D") [Nicolle Wallace steps up and does what everyone s= hould have done back in 2015...or 1985. Take your pick](3D"https:/=) [Thi= s is probably the closest to a 3rd Amendment violation we'll ever see. USSS= breaks into beauty salon to pee, tapes over security camera, eats mints, a= nd leaves](3D") [⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/⭐= ;⭐⭐⭐⭐](3D"https:=) [Stomp Stomp CLAP, Stomp Stomp CLAP](3D") [Car= stuck on Oregon beach. Four rescued before the dynamite brigade arrived](3D")= > [There was a traffic accident last week, and the traffic move= d slowly for a time](3D"=) Here are Medicare's negotiated prices= for the first 10 medications, which is good except for Jardiance because I= HATE THAT STUPID SONG Fired British nuclear sub captain was long, hard, and full of s= emen [You forgot it's Nati= onal Middle Child Day again. It's OK, we're used to it](3D"=) [Bad news if you wanted c= icadas with your Malort](3D") ["Who's there?" "Pizza Delivery"= a>](3D")[Prohibited from directly harming humans, robot cars decide = to annoy people to death by honking at each other all night](3D".=) [Don't worry = sir, "Acid Canyon" is just a name, there is no acid there. It's actually fi= lled with plutonium](3D") [Abergavenny Man encounters the Men in Bei= ge, who are like the Men in Black except trying to steal Excalibur to conta= ct the Fairy Realm. Bonus Watership Down reference](=3D") [Google is down. EVERYBODY= PANIC AND ASK JEEVES](3D") Your guess is as good as mine. Proba= bly the same guess [Kyrgizstan is nearly out of vowels to export, so instead, they ship = heroin](=3D") [Haute couture world realizes that Fark was fashion fo= rward all this time, after all](3D"https://w=) [Please be aware that Ford c= ars and trucks built between 2004 and 2014 come with the exploding airbag f= eature](3D") [Social media photos prove that yoga is correlated to nuclear= disarmament](3D"https://w=) Fark Weir= d News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time last week on the Fark Weird News Quiz, where we learned t= hat your doggie's affection for you is directly related to the amount you s= pend on his doggie bed. On the Quiz itself, RaceDTruck cam= e out on top and is our sole entry to the 1000 club this week with a score = of 1004, followed by kevinatilusa in second with 968 = and WoolyManwich in third with 941. Mino= rThreat1 made fourth with 935, and Oliver Twisted= rong> made it into the top five with 923, The hardest question on l= ast week's Hard Quiz was about the latest celebrity-endorsed perfume, Will = Levis No, 8 from the Tennessee Titans quarterback. Only 36% of quiztakers k= new this was a partnership with Hellman's Mayonnaise and that the scent wou= ld be based on their product. This is going to make scrums on the field rea= lly weird, as I can only imagine the defensive linemen attempting to block = a short-yardage QB sneak: "I think your cleats are leaking" "Are you s= erving coleslaw?" "Is that a sandwich in your pocket or are you just happy = to see me?" The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about= which activity was an Olympic sport from 1900-1920. 86% of quiztakers knew= that you could make it all the way to a gold medal on the podium by follow= ing the advice of the old guy in "Squid Game" when you competed in tug-of-w= ar. I'm going to come right out and say it's still more of a sport than bre= akdancing. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about = McDonald's France and their reaction to the loss of Team France in the Olym= pic Basketball finals to Team USA. Only 38% of quiztakers knew they had thr= eatened to remove Curry sauce from the menu after USA point guard Steph Cur= ry went 8 for 8 from outside the three point line to seal the victory. I co= nsider it a huge miss for McDonald's USA if they don't add it to the menu, = at least temporarily. International franchise feuds within the same corpora= tion are always entertaining. The easiest question on last week's E= asy Quiz was about the meaning of the word "iota". 89% of quiztakers knew t= hat the word came from the Greek letter iota, the smallest of Cyrillic char= acters in size, and meant a minuscule amount of something. I'm guessing thi= s is why you don't see that letter in many fraternities. If you mis= sed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that you k= now a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we= 'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 ------------=_1724267496-21213-9398--