Fark NotNewsletter: Taking Nominations for Great Moments In Fark History for the October 12th Fark Party

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1723669921-29306-9581 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ________________________ The Fark 25th Anniversary Party is on Oct 12th= at the Lyric Theater in Lexington. Part of the event will be me and = special guests doing a version of the Fark News Livestream, but instead of = current events we'll be riffing on Great Moments in Fark History. Great Moments in Fark History break dow= n into two categories: Memorab= le news stories: for example, one in particular I can't forget is people co= mmitting crimes while having explosives strapped to their heads. Link: [ f_Brian_Wells](3D") Great moment= s in the comments section: balls in the slatted chair, UFO streetlight, Kat= rina evacuation volunteers, The Fark.com Duke Sucks Arena naming rights pur= chase that inspired TD Banknorth to rename it The Garden again. We've= got a comprehensive list of these but I'd love to hear which ones you thin= k are must-haves. Thursday 4pm= Eastern it's [the Fark News Livestream](3D"=) with me, Dill, and= Christine. We're back after a week off and we are stacked with mater= ial. For some reason meth has been showing up in places it shouldn't = be. We'll do a Fark Olympics recap, check out the latest in hurricane= news, and if I can find a funny article on it we may even have a new Santo= s of the Week. ________________________ End D= rew transmission ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-vo= ted smartest and funniest comments from the past week. If your post isn'= t here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't think of = a tagline. (The [= Smartest](3D"https://w=) and [Fu= nniest](3D"=) for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny:= - koderwrote out a tale of why these Secret S= ervice agents would break into a salon. - Squid_for_B= rains[: "Bob the antelope had several hobbies..."](3D"=) - aerojockey[joked about the shifting meaning of "raw-dog."= a> - khitsicker](3D"ht=)[knows what a 'Metallica' attack = means.](3D" - phimuskapsi[spotted an interestin= g anagram.](3D" - Squid_for_Brains[listened to a = babbling German creek.](3D") Smart: - Fred= erick[wonders why the person holding all the power thought they we= re in danger.](3D"=) - kbronsito[knows why someone= would be scared of prayer.](3D") - HugeMistake[th= inks they know what the British can do against American social media agitat= ors.](3D") - propasaurus[can't help but see just = how screwed the condo situation in Florida is.](3D" - Wart= hog[did a cost-benefit analysis on Disney World vs. Hawaii.](3D"=) - sno mannotes the not-so-great history of hist= orical philanthropists [Politics](3D" Politics Funny:= > - Znuh[: "Stolen velour!!"](3D" - WickerNipple[knows the TRUE cause of the lisp. Totally.](3D"ht=) - null[: "...they cannot abort him now, they have = to carry him to term."](=3D" Politics Smart: - markie_farkie[knows the way to create a political landslide. - Bootleg](3D"h=)[wonders who thinks the President d= oesn't sleep.](3D" - hubiestubert[recognizes the = target-searching behavior of this arsehole.](3D") - koder= strong>[thinks the GOP could be panicking more about Obama being behind eve= rything.](3D") - no1curr[realized that Joe Rogan'= s endorsement choice was his only winning move.](3D" - Sho= stie[can't believe TFG was being given good advice.](3D"=) -&nbs= p;spongeboob[can't recall the last time a veterans group c= hose to support a Democrat.](3D=) Monkey's Pick= ng> I felt these posts were exceptionally funny or smart, even thou= gh they didn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Smart: - VictoryCabal[might rem= ember the inspiration for this thread's tagline.](3D") [CSB](3D") Sunday Morning the= me - "[How you got your name, and what it means](3D"https://w=)" This week, Farkers were challenged to explain their (ni= ck-)names. [Funny](3D"https://w=): - HeathenHealer= strong>[: "Why do you ask Two Dogs farking?"](3D") ([Two Dogs Farking](3D" you shouldn't need a reason.) - neofonz= [wanted to be known as the Fonz for a reason.](3D"=) - Spectrum[was not, in fact, named after the cable company.](3D"https:/=) - Mr. Murder[knows why they don't want to give o= ut their real name.](3D" [Smart](=3D"): - To= p Geezer[was called funny words by a coworker.](3D"=) - Willie_One_Eye[was named after their father's most interestin= g uncle. Their Fark username is from something else.](3D"=) - ZephyrHawk[still uses their first screen name.](3D"https:/=) - The Devil's Bartender[really hopes you never end up in Hell= .](3D" Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last week, sorted by how likely they are t= o still be open. Go send in your own submissions, they're fun even if you d= on't get the most votes! [Photoshops](3D" Since there's a = lot of these, everybody (and every thread) gets one and only one. -&nb= sp;Surly U. Jest, does a scotsman piss in the mountains?= a> - Yammering_Splat_Vector[spotted Superman, hu= nted down by a bird of prey.](3D" - Thoaar[knows = about Pokemon, they totally know what a "Pika" looks like.](3D") - = Large Marge sent me[gave the Beverly Hillbillies the most = hillbilly of vehicles.](3D" - EvaDewer[turned thi= s headless athlete into a diving dude from another Photoshop contest.](3D") - Driversent in a fleet of Mercury-s. = - X-Geek[lives in a world of cruets.](=3D" -&nbs= p;mononymous[created a political cartoon about the (percei= ved) current state of the GOP.](3D=) - TxRabbit[do= nated a walrus moustache.](3D") - RedZoneTuba[thou= ght the river was still flowing.](3D") - Clockwork Kumquat[couldn't afford real T-Rex DNA.](3D"=) - Stephen_Fa= lken[committed the most dangerous of all skiing maneuvers.](3D"=) = - samsquatch[couldn't help but appreciate the produ= ce.](3D" - GoodDoctorB[touched the chemical tub= es.](3D" - west.la.lawyer[dug up Weekend at Ber= nie.](3D" - FirstDennis[couldn't pay for a crema= tion.](3D" - GaijinH[perfected the tired sit.](3D" - asstamassta[doesn't know what to do after all= the shrimp dried up.](3D" [Captions](3D" "[Caption these si= deline posers](3D")" ([link](3D"https://=)) - felching pen [thinks t= his bull and bear got lost on the way to market.](3D") - IgG4= trong> [shared their room number.](3D") "[Caption this call of the wild](3D")" ([link](3D" - Walker= strong> [knows even the wildlife have learned the couch meme.](3D"=) - radarman [heard Stanley Kowalski call out.](3D"https=) - = Floki [performed a stunning rendition of "Help!" by The Beatles.](3D"=)= > "[Caption these train passenge= rs](3D".=)" ([link](3D"=)) - Devolving_Spud[: "Daddy, what d= oes "peaked in high school" mean?"](3D") - Nogrhi [brou= ght the kids to a Limp Biscuit concert.](3D") [Farktography theme:](3D") "[Vertical Orientation 2](3D"=)" This week, Fark= ers were challenged to send in photos taken in such a way that they're tall= er than their width. No limitations otherwise. Shame we didn't get = any of the meteor shower. - EvaDewer[saw the Arc= h reflected in the water.](3D") - All Latest[visit= ed a real-life demonstration of erosion.](3D") - beerrun= trong>[encountered a bloom spike.](3D") - Lovesandwich= ong>[discovered a colorful workplace.](3D") - bikkurikun= trong>[visited the once-largest organ in the world.](3D") - common sense is an oxymoron[spotted a wet bird.](3D" = [Upcoming Fark Parties](3D") It's easy to plan for a F= ark Party - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this ti= me, come hang out." [Submit one!](3D"https://=) [OCT= . 12TH 7pm, 25th Anniversary Fark Party @ The Lyric Theatre in Lexington KY= - but wait there's more (TBA)](3D") Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of s= ome of the top headlines from last week. [Deputy who shot Sonya Massey clai= ms he thought her saying "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus" indicated inte= nt to kill him. Oh for Christ's sa*BANG, BANG, BANG*](3D") [Scientist has a plan to put the p= lot of a Highlander film that never existed into reality](3D") [= USPS to release First Continental Congress stamps honoring the 12 Colonies.= So say we all](3D") [That's not a condom. This is a condom](3D"h=) [Iranian= woman sings an Amy Winehouse song on the streets of Tehran without wearing= a hijab, gets thrown in jail. Probably for both](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you= by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz this week= , where we learned dogs probably don't want to smell like tea trees because= even they know tea comes from a shrub, not a tree. On the Quiz itself, Uranus Megahertz came out on top with 1019, followed by = RaceDTruck in second with 1010 and hopkin_gre= en_frog in third with 993. Blackstone and&nb= sp;VooDoo_Blonde tied for fourth with 933, and edmo made it into the top five with 908. The hardest que= stion on last week's Hard Quiz was about the latest unstoppable corporate f= orce coming to assimilate us through clean bathrooms and addictive sna= ck foods. Only 39% of quiztakers knew that by this time next year, they'll = be munching on puffed corn covered in a caramel sauce once Buc-ee's assimil= ates their city with a gas station that has its own zip code. Yes, Beaver N= uggets are basically jumbo-sized Kix cereal with donut glaze, If you'd like= to try them but fear gas stations with more than 120 pumps, they are avail= able through Amazon and Walmart.com and some really sketchy ebay sellers. D= o not buy the Beaver Nuggets listed as "For Parts or Not Working." = The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was surprisingly a question a= bout Asian geography. 90% of quiztakers knew that the only country through = which the Ganges River flows that is not named "India" is Bangladesh, where= student protests have resulted in the resignation of the Prime Minister an= d dissolution of Parliament. This is what happens when you bust up their be= er pong tournaments and ban fraternity drag queen revues. The harde= st question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Colorado style pizza. Only 4= 6% of quiztakers knew that a "mountain pie" was made with an extremely larg= e outside crust and served with honey. It's made as a built-in dessert - yo= u eat the pizza on the inside of the slice, then drizzle honey over the cru= st and eat it instead of tossing it back in the box like people do everywhe= re else they get a pizza with an oversized crust. The other choice, the cra= cker-like crust, is a trademark of St. Louis-style pizza. The easie= st question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what French dude Philippe Pe= tit was up to 50 years ago last week. 92% of quiztakers recognized him as t= he "Man on Wire" who walked eight times between the twin towers of the Worl= d Trade Center in a stunt that wasn't to protest anything or bring attentio= n to a particular cause, it was just because he thought it would be a fun t= hing to do. Interestingly, following his arrest, the trespassing charges we= re dropped under the condition that he perform another high-wire walk in Ce= ntral Park, which he did, and has lived in New York City since. Last week, = to celebrate the anniversary he performed another walk across the nave of N= YC's Cathedral of St. John the Divine, the world's largest cathedral. If you missed out last week, it's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" no= w that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the win= ners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 ------------=_1723669921-29306-9581--