Fark NotNewsletter: That Time There Was A Failed Political Assassination

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1721257967-24178-10355 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ________________________ Hey everyone hope your week has been well.= News cycle was pretty rough t= his week due to stuff. Politics sucked all the fun out of the news cy= cle - yes I could have stopped after the first two words. Whenever bi= g news events hiat, all the fun stuff that Fark likes to cover disappears.&= nbsp; Monday morning when I started my weekly shift there was almost nothin= g fun in the news cycle. Stuff started appearing Monday afternoon but what = a slow start it was. This week= it's [the Fark News Livestream](3D") with me, Dill, a= nd possibly Christine, who has temporarily escaped the Greater Houston Hell= scape however will be a last minute decision due to related complications.&= nbsp; Last week the peanut gallery had the great suggestion of adding a seg= ment: Good News Everyone. Yes there is actually Good= News out there, including a potentially huge Alzheimer's breakthrough, the= re's a break coming in the heatwave for the eastern US at least, and appare= ntly there's too much cocaine. I'll find more than that by tomorrow but tha= t's what we're starting with. Oh and we'll have to talk about politics, but= it'll be weird - specifically the conversations I've been overhearing at m= y local bar while working in the evenings. Surprisingly civil but con= fused conversations. ________________________ End Drew transmission ________________________ = Top Interactions Some of= the best interactions from the past week. Do note: this takes prio= rity over being placed in "top comments." - Farkers in [This Thread](3D") discussed Texan regulations and zoning laws, or= the lack thereof. (It doesn't end at [Gubbo](3D" post, it= goes through the entire thread.) Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funni= est comments from the past week. If your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D") and [Funniest](3D") for the pas= t month are found elsewhere.) Funny: - P= etite Mel[: "BREAKING: GUNMAN ONCE SHOPPED AT LOCAL ALDIS."](3D"=) = - kkinnisondoesn't know what the three seashells = are used for (in home defense). - MythDragon= ['s cat has something in common with TFG now.](3D") - brap= [knows what do avoid when buttchugging a margarita. Why? I dunno. - Devolving_Spud](3D"=)[knows what happens when a c= lown is arrested](3D" (Don't miss their [second post.](3D" - grokca[: "If I upgrade you and not your wife then you will probab= ly be coming home in a body bag."](3D"=) - Trik[mad= e fun of the conspiracy theories about the TFG shooting.](3D") - mugbahamrika[THE ARISTOCRATS!](3D"h=) Smart: - markie_farkie[knows both why we're doing away wi= th hotel shampoo, and what some hotels are already giving as a replacement.=](3D" - MrBallou[grew up with a very different gu= n culture from the one popularized today.](3D" (So did [dhcmrlchtdj= strong>](3D" - Decorus[reminds us how Brandon L= ee got shot.](3D" - El_Swino[: "I think we're seei= ng the birth of yet another stupid size comparison given in place of actual= measurement."](3D" - JustinCase[knows the real = best breed of protection dog.](3D") [Politics](3D" Politics Funn= y: - Cormee[had a new name to call TFG.](3D" - bearded clamorer[knows the indignity of Spong= eBob clothing.](3D" - OldRod[knows there is prece= dent for vomiting being an official act of a president.](3D" ([Redh8t=](3D") knows where it came from.) Politics Smart: - Elliot8654[spotted an amusing political u-turn.=](3D" - Unobtanium[reminded us of the Breaking Ne= ws Consumer's Handbook.](3D" - make me some tea[f= inds a level of empathy with the TFG shooter that's uncomfortable to them. =](3D") - inglixthemad[thought up a political ad ag= ainst what Project 2025 stands for.](3D" - Chariset= g>[: "There's a reason icons and other religious statues don't move."](3D") Monkey's Pick I felt these posts wer= e exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. = Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Smart: -&nbs= p;Pliny the Elderremembers the website called PINAC, as= in, "Photography Is Not A Crime." - RobSquash= g>[knows how hard it is to get evidence back from the court.](3D") -&nbs= p;likefunbutnot[finds the weird political split in the adu= lt entertainment industry interesting.](=3D" [CSB](3D" Sunday Morning theme - "= [The best lesson you ever learned](3D")"= g> This week, Farkers were challenged to tell us the best lessons they e= ver learned. [Funny](3D"htt=): There was an oddity in this CSB= thread: 4 people collaborated on the same joke. See: ([Highlander= RPI](3D"), [Lee451](3D"=), [Snarcoleptic_Hoosier=](3D" and, technically, NearCanuck.) = - pissnmoanlearned something new because of how t= hey read into another user's post. - saywhat= [shot an AR-15 on the day TFG got shot at with one.](3D") - Fear the Clam[realized they don't actually need to pay the fee = to wear Members Only.](3D"htt=) - Mr. Fuzzypaws[mixed = up their sharpies with the counterfeit bill pens.](3D") [Smart: - KingKauff](3D")[has experienced the agony of la= cking a plunger.](3D" - Glockenspiel Hero[was tau= ght why some people turn down promotions.](3D") - think_bal= ance[rethought their entire stance on belief systems due to a yout= h pastor.](3D"=) - JZDave[knows to never stick it = in crazy. Somehow, people don't know this yet.](3D" Top Contest Entries Some of the top= -voted [contest](3D") entries fr= om last week, sorted by how likely they are to still be open. Go send in yo= ur own submissions, they're fun even if you don't get the most votes! [Photosh= ops](3D"=): Since there's a lot of these, everybody (and eve= ry thread) gets one and only one. We had a [Photoshop Tennis th= read](3D") this week! (As in, posters are encouraged to add stuff to other Fa= rkers' edits.) This week, it was themed after the Moon Landing. -= Stephen_Falken[knows this skyline is anything but mo= nochromatic.](3D" - Large Marge sent me[is stuck = in the port-a-potty line.](3D") - RedZoneTuba[had = to replace the lighthouse's lightbulb.](3D") - EvaDewer= rong>[Long Live the King.](3D") - Wrongo[theorized= what'd happen if the plot of an Indiana Jones movie occurred on the site o= f an active tourist destination.](3D") - Yammering_Splat_Ve= ctor[put Pee-Wee Herman in the race.](3D"=) - Adama= ta[panhandled for food for Oscar the Grouch.](3D".=) - Mock26[encounted the aftermath of a Real Seals team 6 operatio= n.](3D"https://w=) - samsquatch[wonders why the port-a-potty= 's so heavy. And moves a bunch.](3D" - p51d007[im= agined what this German tourism hotspot might've looked like during WW2.](3D")= > - mononymous[put a stork on Björk.](3D" - asstamassta[discovered that pangolins are chestb= ursters.](3D" - bathbone[watched Mary Katherine G= allagher compare the stink of that cheese to the smell under her armpits.= a> - Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel](3D" where a= n emerald house is likely to be.](3D") - Surly U. Jest= ong>[answered one of the weird craigslist ads.](3D") - Thoa= ar[caught the crew of the Enterprise watching something they were= n't supposed to.](3D".=) - whatsupchuck[is king of t= he pond.](3D") - [Bonus!](3D"htt=)Petite Mel[saw what ha= ppened after Spaceman Spiff crashed his ship](3D") - west.l= a.lawyer[knows the typical reaction to a wildfire.](3D"=) - = ;nitropissering[had to trust Bugs Bunny to save everyone= a>. [Captions](3D"htt=): "](=3D" this early bird family](3D")= >" ([image](3D")) - Floki [insists on a night assault.](3D" > - Driver loves to sing-a. "[Caption = this celebrity conspiracy](3D")" ([image](=3D" - RedZoneTuba= ng> [remains convinced of their invincibility.](3D") - Devolving_= Spud [wonders if this dude would like some candy.](3D"=) "[Caption these livestock wranglers](3D")" ([image](3D")) - LeroyB [is trying to sell extended warranty for cows. - Devolving_Spud](3D=)[tried to give financial advice t= o a kid.](3D" "[Caption this polite conversation on the lawn](3D"https:=)" ([imag= e](3D")) - grokca [does not want sharp knees.](3D" -= RiverRat[: "If you [read it in a southern accent], you kno= w."](3D"ht=) [Farktography theme:](3D=) "[There = Can Be Only One.](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged to send photos = with only one subject. - EvaDewer[encounter= ed a lone fishing boat.](3D") - All Latest[discove= red a house in the woods.](3D") - Lovesandwich[DOG=](3D") - Elsinore[got a close-up of a dandelion.= a> - DorisLessingCat](3D" WITH HAT](3D" -&nbs= p;gorrck[found an odd flower.](3D"htt=) [Upc= oming Fark Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party -= you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come ha= ng out." [Submit one!](3D"=) [C= ommemorating a Low in the Mile High City: A Most Feasy Fark Party Weekend, = Aug 2-4](3D") [OCT. 12TH 7pm, 25th Anniv= ersary Fark Party @ The Lyric Theatre in Lexington KY - but wait there's mo= re (TBA)](3D") Fark H= eadlines of the Week A selection of some of the top headlin= es from last week. [I am the very model of a mod= ern Major General, I'm faced with several charges of assaults which are all= sexual, I may seem so respectable but my behaviour's detestable, Because w= hen I meet other folk I really must molest a few](3D"h=) [Elaine Foo sues cosmetic surgeon for turning her into Eileen Foo](3D") ["Heat adv= isories for approximately 144 million people" - 144 Million smelly sweaty A= mericans? That's megagross](3D"=) [Finally at peace and won't have to see Pauly Shore sc= rew up his legacy, Richard Simmons dead at 76](3D") [Four year-old abducted from Panda Expre= ss found, expected to be back at work tomorrow](3D") [Time and tide wait for = no van](3D") [No, not that much adventure](3D"https://=) [San D= iego has more fleas than any other city, also leads country in sales of tin= y tube socks](3D") [White Castle doctrine](3D"ht=) [Quick, send Happy168th Birthday wishes to Nikola Tesla before Edison st= eals them too](3D") Fark We= ird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learned that the stuff = they make grits out of is pretty good as it is, even if you can't get homin= y outside the South. On the Quiz itself, MinorThreat1 came= out on top with a score of 1031, followed by Captain Orr= ong> in second with 1030 and dbeshear in third with 1= 027. Oliver Twisted made fourth with 1015, and Demetrius rounds out the top five with 993. The har= dest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the hydrogen fuel-cel= l Murai sedan and how it wasn't going over well in the US, with a whopping = 245 units sold since its introduction. Only 41% of quiztakers knew the seda= n was a Toyota product, which is understandable as most Americans aren't ev= en aware fuel cell technology is actually here. Unfortunately, the car unde= rperforms electric cars at the same price point and there are some safety c= oncerns regarding toting around the approximate equivalent of 300 lbs. of T= NT, so most of the target demographic are saying "might as well buy a = Tesla". The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about whi= ch tax services company just announced they're laying off 1800+ employees a= nd moving to an AI business model. 85% of quiztakers knew that soon Intuit'= s Quickbooks would be the go-to source for discovering what type of glue yo= u should use to keep your cheese on your pizza and whether or not all your = extra fingers are tax deductible. The hardest question on last week= 's Easy Quiz was about which artist held the number one spot on both the Bi= llboard hot 100 and the Hot Country charts last week. Only 52% of quiztaker= s knew that Shaboozey's "A Bar Song (Tipsy)" was the first to do = so since Beyoncé's "Texas Hold 'Em". Now we know what our parents fe= lt like when we tried telling them about Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Green Day.= The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which sing= er/songwriter was the latest to receive her own limited edition Barbie. 90%= of quiztakers recognized Stevie Nicks as the recipient of this very well-d= eserved honor. Fun fact - she's the only woman to be inducted in the Rock &= amp; Roll Hall of Fame twice - with Fleetwood Mac and as a solo artist. = If you missed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winner= s, and we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1721257967-24178-10355--