Fark NotNewsletter: You Better Not Miss

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1719436378-13686-10982 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ________________________ Hey everyone hope your week's been well.= span> Summary of the news cycle: It's= Hot! There will be traffic next week. Plan accordingly. = Also for some reason killer asteroids are making their way back into the ne= ws cycle this week. And there's a presidential debate on Thursday. Co= incidence? I think not. = Next week I should have some additional news about the Fark25 event in Lexi= ngton on Oct 12th that we've been teasing in the NotNewsletter. I thi= nk we have a venue now, within walking distance of downtown Lexington. = ; And it serves alcohol. Thurs= day 4pm Eastern it's the [Fark News Livestream](3D"htt=) w= ith definitely me and Dill, maybe some extra folks, and I think Champ's gon= na sit again in and read your streaming comments live (the funny ones anyho= w) until he has to go to his job at 5pm. Its a total madlibs week for= the news cycle. None of the words I'm seeing in headlines are making= any sense. Robots with human skin, science discovers a new human org= an, asteroids the size of sheep, murders over who summoned bigfoot, it's li= ke everything's gone completely random. Also boobs. ______= __________________ End Drew transmission = > ________________________ T= op Interactions Some of the best interactions from the past = week. Do note: this takes priority over being placed in "top commen= ts." - [Lady J](3D"=) began a short discussion ab= out Penny Arcade (the comic.) - [In](3D" Thread[: A discussion about where souls come fr= om. Yes, really. It's a little buried, but it's there.](3D" - [In](3D")This Thread= [: "Louisi= ana becomes the first state to require that the Ten Commandments be display= ed in public school classrooms." (Louisiana becomes the first state to requ= ire that the Ten Commandments be displayed in public school classrooms.) Louisiana becomes the first state to requir= e that the Ten Commandments be displayed in public school classrooms.](3D"=)= > Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week.= If your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey = ng>couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D" and [Funniest](3D" for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny: - Madman drummers bummers[wo= nders how a dead story could still 'be developing.'](3D") - h= ubiestubert[: "What could they do? She had taken a white woman host= age."](3D"https://=) - Teddy Brosevelt[uncovered a motivatio= nal poster titled "Drive your cybertruck to the titanic."](3D" - Demetrius[: "And this is where we process the children..."](3D"https=)= - BeesNuts[shared just how inconvenienced they we= re by the lack of editing on this interview.](3D" Smart: - no1curr[thought 'rawdogging' and/or 'barebacking' = on a flight meant something completely different (and wants a refund).](=3D" Three Crooked Squirrels[: "Beware of anyone or an= y organization that hires a lawyer or law firm to internally investigate an= ything other than legal liability."](3D" - blasterz= [thinks this soon-to-be prisoner should've cut their losses a long time a= go.](3D") - Squik2[saw this tierlist as a normal tee= nager thing.](3D" Gubbo [actually read the article and share= d why the police were so worried.](3D" [Politics](3D" Politic= s Funny: - Unobtanium[was surprised by an a= ccidental euphemism.](3D" - hardinparamedic[has an = illustration of the instant karma people experience when attacking Dolly Pa= rton.](3D") - DrD'isInfotainment[: "must be appeali= ng the the Whitest Supremacist Demo[graphic]."](3D") Politics Sma= rt: - hubiestubert[: "Did these folks learn = nothing in attacking Taylor Swift?"](3D" - Tell Me = How My Blog Takes[has a The Tick-grade superhero monologue.](3D"ht=) - Benevolent Misanthrope["is you taking notes on a c= riminal f*ing conspiracy"](3D" - odinsposse[reminde= d us of the political leanings of the Heritage Foundation](3D") - ElPrimitivo[knows the submitter had a hard time improving on = this headline.](3D"htt=) Monkey's Pick I= felt these posts were exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn'= t get many votes. Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. F= unny: - Gubbo[wonders why anyone would try to= store rust-prone cars close to the sea.](3D" - splorp!= ong>[shared their favorite political sign.](3D") Smart: -= taliesinwihas a suggestion on how to avoid medical = nonsense: "It basically comes down to farkery with the medical coding."= - Mundenwonders if they could apply to Boeing = with their safety experience. - SpectroBoy[: "T= hat excuse stopped working in 1940."](3D") - Jim_Callahan= rong>[remembers just how low political ads can go.](3D") - in= dy_kid[is great with kids, apparently.](3D"=) [CSB](3D") Sunday Morning them= e - "[I= t's too hot... Tell us about the hottest day of your life, please.](3D"=)" This week, Farkers were challenged to tell us about the ho= ttest days of their lives so far. [Funny=](3D"): - HeathenHealer[remembers the best onion rin= gs they'd ever had.](3D" - wegro[thought they'd = lose their sight due to their fever.](3D") - bucket_pup= ng>[has a reminder for us, for the rest of the year.](3D") - = kdawg7736[: "It's so hot, ---."](3D"=) - Tarl3k= g>[wishes they could have that day over and over again. Like Groundhog Day.=](3D") [Smart](3D"=): - S= napper Carr[recounted the last time they ever walked.](3D"https://=) -&nbs= p;vudukungfu[had a double shift in a steel mill, on that v= ery very hot day.](3D=) - heywood-jablome[knew how t= o get out of having to stay in the sun, stuck in uniform.](3D") - slackadocious['s misery got their dad to help him repair the A= /C.](3D"h=) Top Contest Entrie= s Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last week, sorted by how likely they a= re to still be open. Go send in your own submissions, they're fun even if y= ou don't get the most votes! [Photoshops](3D" Since there's= a lot of these, everybody (and every thread) gets one and only one. -&n= bsp;flamark[noticed someone not paying attention to the po= ker dogs.](3D"=) - Driver[designed a Tron-themed exte= nsion to Disneyland.](3D" - Yammering_Splat_Vector = turned the Capitol Records building into capital-sized records. -&nb= sp;RedZoneTuba[caught a sociopath named Speed on his lunc= h break.](=3D" - Somaticasual[photographed the Thre= e Wolf Moon.](3D" - Stephen_Falken[turned this fas= hion into a coronavirus.](3D") - Octafrye[knows what= to do in order to stop a big balloon baby.](3D") - Subsequen= tDamage[remembers the days of giant beavers.](3D".=) - whatsupchuck[judged this amateur diver.](3D"https:=) - poc= ketgoose[used this old olympic venue as a Kool-Aid man training gr= ound.](3D"=) - LesserEvil[brought this bonanza of fam= ous actors to a relevant steakhouse.](3D" - Thoaar = enforced a discussion of extended warranty at bearpoint. - bathbone[found the perfect art gallery to sneak the Frasier lo= go into.](3D"https:/=) - Mock26[added just another brick in = the wall (of a Pink Floyd album.)](3D" - samsquatch= [had to get creative with the Star Trek sets.](3D") - Large= Marge sent me[knows how these giant Jets dominated the NFL draft.=](3D"https=) - Resident Muslim[misheard the rule of safety= on a jobsite as "Safety Last!" - will they end up hanging from a clock nex= t?](3D" - p51d007[really should look behind him.](3D" > - kevinatilusa[found the perfect image for "The = Adventures of Huckleberry Finn."](3D" - slimebarfer= [collapsed the roof a little more.](3D") [Captions](3D" "[Caption this relaxing afternoon at the park](3D")" ([image](3D"))= - Petey4335 knows the typical reaction to a beautiful = day, nowadays. - RedZoneTuba [really wishes this dud= e would stop trying to brag about his stocks.](3D" "[Caption t= his open mic magic](3D")" ([image](3D"htt=)) - RedZoneTuba [remem= bered the Animal House response to unsolicited guitar playing.](3D") - Toxophil [crafted their song for the audience.](3D"https=) "[Caption this railroad inspection](3D")" ([image](3D" - EdgeRunner [doesn't know what left those tracks.](3D"https:=) - bearded clamorer [is jonesing for a rail.](3D"h=) - markie_= farkie [ponders the third rail.](3D".=) "[Caption t= hese mimicking monkeys](3D")" ([image](3D=)) - fatassbastard= [is a primate identifier.](3D") - dionysusaur[: "I will c= all him... MINI ME!"](3D") - Clockwork Kumquat [refuses to= give us a tagline, for understandable reasons.](3D") - RedZoneTub= a[: "Look at how miserable they all are, Tim-tim..."](3D"=) = "[Caption this visit to the zoo](3D")" ([image](3D" - RedZoneTu= ba [has a song for you, about California goats. Not girls, goats.= a> - Albert911emt](3D"=)[knows they're not the band The Monkee= s.](3D" - The Third Man [has a message from the Beatles' = old manager.](3D" Farktography theme: "[People 2](3D")" = This week, Farkers were challenged to show us photos of people - be they in= dividuals or groups, portraits or candids. - skybird659= rong>[: "A smash on the Big Screen!"](3D") - gorrck[g= ot a photo of their photographer.](3D") - Pope Larry II= ng>[captured a baseball warmup.](3D") - Herb Utsmelz= [took a selfie with a friend.](3D") - Ldrtchbrd[di= scovered an open-air market.](3D") [Upcoming Fark Parties=](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectivel= y saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out." [Submit= one!](3D" We're still planning the= OCT. 12TH, 25th Anniversary Fark Party (Lexington KY)! Thread TB= A. Fark Headlines of the W= eek A selection of some of the top headlines from last week.= [Hawkeye beats Alan Alda to death](3D"=) [A year after the Titan subm= ersible implosion, investigators don't have any answers. But the memes are = still crushing it](3D") [Rockford gas station collapses. It's unclear if anyone was h= urt, but at the tone leave your name and message and they'll get back to yo= u](=3D") [Georgetown NIMBYs running a schmear campaign to kick out a= Jewish deli from their neighborhood](3D"=) [Pretty sure that's not what metr= osexual means](3D") [DeCapotated](3D"ht=) [He was heard sc= reaming, "MIAMI"](3D") Fark = Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy= ) Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learned our ancient a= ncestors knew what the solstice was and were smart enough to not spend = ;a quarter of a million bucks on a belt. On the Quiz itself, kevina= tilusa came out on top with 961, followed by edmo= rong> and WoolyManwich who tied for second with 936 and dochaha and Denjiro who tied for third with= 934. runwiz made fourth with 931, and Oliver Twisted made it into the top five with 915. Th= e hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the Italian brand Gol= den Goose, who has decided to put off their IPO due to "political instabili= ty in Europe." Only 26% of quiztakers knew they were a maker of luxury spor= tswear, which is just regular sportswear but costs ten times as much and ha= s a big designer label on it so everyone at the gym can see you're rich eno= ugh to buy expensive crap but not rich enough to own a home gym, Th= e easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the first named storm= of the hurricane season, which doesn't officially begin until July 1. 79% = of quiztakers knew that tropical storm Alberto made landfall in south Texas= and northeast Mexico last week, and headlines are actually complaining tha= t it didn't bring enough rain to refill the reservoirs along the border whi= ch are at record lows. Yes, that's where we are with climate change - an un= usually early tropical storm wasn't strong enough. The hardest ques= tion on last week's Easy Quiz was about the first ever rainbow Pride flag. = Only 41% of quiztakers knew that the organizers of the Gay Freedom Day para= de in 1979, which was held to memorialize the Stonewall Uprising of 1969, h= appened to know someone with keys to the flagpoles at United Nations Plaza = in downtown San Francisco at the end of the parade route, and replaced the = American flag with a multicolored one and the UN flag with what we now know= as the rainbow Pride flag. Some enterprising capitalists began selling min= iature ones, and the flag was cemented as a symbol of queer pride and LGBT+= rights. The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was ab= out where the last Confederate slaves were told of their freedom on June 19= , 1865. 92% of quiztakers knew that on that date Major General Gordon Grang= er caused his General Order No 3 to be posted and read aloud around Galvest= on Island, the final Confederate holdout not yet under the full control of = the Union Army. Which leads me to ask what could have possibly been more im= portant in the first two general orders? "Soldiers are reminded to replenis= h the Sears catalog in the latrine when only ten pages are remaining... Our= own Captain Doorsworth has been named Union Army Mustache of the Year Winn= er for the third year in a row... And slaves are now free." If you = missed out last week, it's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that you= know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and = we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1719436378-13686-10982--