Fark NotNewsletter: Guess Who's A Convicted Felon?

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1717627371-23166-11687 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ________________________ Hey everyone hope your week was well.= n> Our May subscription drive wrapped las= t Friday - thanks for everyone who signed up and gifted [TotalFark subscriptions](3D" We didn't qui= te make it to our goal of 1,000 new recurring subs however we got a ton of = non-recurring ones so I'm declaring victory. Thanks everyone who participat= ed - you're helping us keep going for another 25 years. Google rolled out it's AI for search recently, an= d it lasted until just a few days ago when they finally gave up. Part= of the problem is the amount of training data that leads to Reddit discuss= ions like "how many rocks per week should I eat" and "why you should use gl= ue on pizza". Google claimed that the problem was there isn't that mu= ch content out there about how many rocks you should eat or glue on pizza, = which seems like an odd dodge considering it's essentially admitting its AI= doesn't know you shouldn't do either. At any rate, folks have been a= sking me if we're going to build an AI with Fark data? The answer is = absolutely we are - but not as a serious endeavor. I'm curious what i= t will be like but I'm more or less expecting it'll be a hot mess. It= won't be any time soon because currently it's expensive and hard to do, bu= t as soon as it becomes cheap and easy, I'll roll one and we'll see what we= get. I'm a bit jealous of Google because I wish the Fark AI would ma= ke as little sense as Google's actual AI search product. 4pm Thursday it's [the re= turn of the Fark News Livestream](3D") - with me, Dill, and possibly Christin= e at the last minute. And maybe an additional guest! We're lock= ed and loaded with content, so much so that I may try to make at least half= the show into the "Dill Reads Off Color Headlines" segment. Aliens, = Florida, cute bunnies, we're going to have it all. ______________= __________ End Drew transmission ___= _____________________ Top = Interactions Some of the best interactions from the past wee= k. Do note: this takes priority over being placed in "top comments.= " - [I= n](3D"https://w=)This Thread: Jeff Sessions, James Inhoffe, Snow, Holding, Balls. Mix and= match. - [Skim](3D"http=)This Thread[, it's great. We've got Farkers trying to make it into= a pet photo thread, but I'd bet there's more.](3D" - [In](3D" Thread= ng>[: we had an actua= l discussion about why people might buy cybertrucks.](3D") - [Farkers in](3D")Thi= s Thread[di= scussed why you would store so many stolen power tools in the same few plac= es.](3D"=) - [= Farkers in](3D"https://=)This Thread[ended up discussing the weird places they'd had s= ex.](3D" - [Angry Drunk Bureaucrat](3D"=) and [MattytheMouse](3D") found out about the TFG hush money case decisi= on from odd sources. Top C= omments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments = from the past week. If your post isn't here, assume that NotNews= letterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D" and [Funniest](3D" for the past month a= re found elsewhere.) Funny: - pueblonati= ve[proposed that this parent give an inspired explanation of the = birds and the bees.](3D".=) - patrick767[is obsessed= with Stealing His Look.](3D") - qlenfg[encountere= d an impostor cybertruck.](3D") - SNAFUq [finally has th= e correct gnomenclature.](3D") - Parthenogenetic[: = "The cop's only in trouble because the dog's white."](3D") - SumoJeb[: " I thought this might be about Trump until actual cash= was involved."](3D"=) - fragMasterFlash[makes a co= nnection between Jerry Seinfeld and Airplane!.](3D") - yahy= ahyah[referenced Get (Maxwell) Smart.](3D"=) Smart: - kbronsito[wait, what? States give casinos lice= nses to print money?](3D" - Ass_Master_Flash[know= s how hard it is to mess with a slot machine.](3D") - koder= [calls BS on slot machines being worse-designed than pinball machi= nes.](3D"=) - JustinCase[knows what to do when yo= u find mutilated money.](3D" - SpectroBoy[knows w= hy some people would rather smoke than chew.](3D") - levios= aurus[was shown how real performers deal with a disappointing crow= d.](3D"=) - RandomAxe[makes a strong case for: "The= more a school makes a big deal out of the bullshiat, the more you know the= y don't think they gave you the important things."](3D" [Politics = a> Politics Funny: - NeoCortex42](3D" ws the only set-in-stone effect of the TFG hush money case.](3D") - = ;Dimensio[...gdi. DIPLOMAtic immunity.](3D"ht=) - rickythepenguin[looked a bit too far into an offhanded complim= ent.](3D"=) - Ass_Master_Flash[has only one thing t= o say about a silly 6-year-old on the House floor.](3D" Politics= Smart: - Magorn[researched the history o= f felony convictions, and how they stripped away rights.](3D" - FrabjousDay[wonders how a political party can be both incomp= etent and capable of conspiracy theory-level plans.](3D"ht=) - mrshowrules[proposed a honeytrap for juror intimidators.](3D"https:/=) = - Weaver95noticed TFG playing the worst possible mo= ve in response to the trial. - jmr61[explain= ed why people are happy about Joe Manchin leaving the democratic party.](3D")= - RodneyToady[has a theory as to how we got tha= t "5 in 6 voters won't change their vote" statistic.](3D" - andrewagill[hopes that the "he's so powerful he..." crowd will b= e swayed away from voting for TFG.](3D"https:=) - DogParkSniper= trong>[knows a convicted felon can't have their job.](3D") Monkey's Pick I felt these posts were exceptionally = funny or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorte= d, may contain politics. Funny: - markie= _farkie[, but... Doesn't that add a risk of someone needing to be i= n church by then? Why not Saturday?](3D".=) Smart: - = ;th0th[deducted why spicy food is often found in close pro= ximity to deserts.](3D"https=) - MythDragon[shared that = it's possible to get cured of rabies before it takes hold.](3D") - = timswar[has a guess as to why Angel Hernandez was never fi= red from MLB.](3D"http=) - JohnnyApocalypse[got unexpec= tedly deep.](3D") [CSB](3D" Sunday Morning theme - "[That one time on summer vacation](3D")" This week, Farkers = were challenged to share their favorite summer vacation stories. [Funny=](3D"): - Gassy Snake[was hiat in the face = by rjakobi's Ken doll.](3D" (see: rjakobi'= s [post](3D")) - yakmans_dad[carried their unconsi= ous wife almost straight into the Chesapeake Bay.](3D" - V= ansthing[discovered practical gravestones in their grandparents' b= asement.](3D"=) - Exhume me for National Pop Goes the Weasel= Day[performed the lyrics of "Sister Mary Elephant."](3D"=) Smart: - Groupon boob job[loved their = visit to Arizona more than Disneyland.](3D") - [Absolutely nothing= went wrong on](3D")Someone Else's Alt['s camping trip. For = once.](3D" - bacchanalias and consequences[ended = up the center of surfing attention for entirely the wrong reason.](3D") = - neofonz[got to stay at a beachfront summer house e= very year, growing up.](=3D" - [Bonus:](3D" rong>[encountered the Ghost of Splash Mountain.](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of the to= p-voted [contest](3D"=) entries f= rom last week. Go send in your own submissions, they're fun even if you don= 't win! [Photoshops](3D"=): Since there's a lot of these, everyb= ody gets one - and they're sorted by how likely they are to still be open. - RedZoneTuba[the Kool-Aid man hit the wall and = the wall won.](3D" - Driver['s fish was stolen.= a> - bathbone](3D" the greenscreen switch.](3D" - Yammering_Splat_Vector[made a dog very, very= happy.](3D" - Thoaar[reimagined the Star Wars bl= ind-fighting drone.](3D" - EvaDewer['s lego man ju= st fixed that wall.](3D") - SubsequentDamage[reali= zed just how much this looked like the Dude's room, after his carpet got st= olen.](3D") - Octafrye[trolled Trump tower.](3D" - Stephen_Falken[readjusted the stairway to the st= ars.](3D" - SonOfSpam[couldn't resist the graduat= ion bread.](3D" - MyDogGoldi[colorized this cold = crew.](3D" - Mock26[sculpted a sand spreader. Oh = god there's sand everywhere.](3D" - pocketgoose[l= ocated the only dropped banana peel in the world with their feet.](3D") = - p51d007[brought the lightning to the racetrack. We= ll, we're definitely not going to the pool.](=3D" - whatsup= chuck[knows this old house belongs on Zillow.](3D"=) - Bumcheese[didn't have enough room to spell FUC](3D"https:=) - = ;tom baker's scarffound an overly-direct store. = - west.la.lawyer[discovered the Robocop city.](3D" - nitropissering[SMALL.](3D" - Co= rk on Fork[hides in your produce basket.](3D"https://w=) [Captions](3D")= >: "[Caption this sleep deprivation](3D")" ([image](3D" - RedZoneTuba[will give you your own head.](3D"htt=) - M= ojongo [found a quick and easy way to stop someone from snoring.= a> "](3D".=)[Caption this little committee making= a decision](3D"=)" ([image](3D"=)) - Devolving_Spud[: "When = you order your border wall from Temu."](3D") - Petite Mel= g> [knows what 9 inches looks like.](3D") "[Caption t= his baseball conversation](3D")" ([image](=3D" - dionysusaur = ong>[eavesdropped on an adult using the 'your mom' assault.](3D") - johnny_vegas [saw that Y as the start of a greater song.](3D"htt=) = "[Caption this bunny-eared guy](3D")" ([image](3D" - Devolving_Spud [did the Roman equivalent to typing out 80085 on a = calculator.](3D"htt=) - RedZoneTuba [deducted the presence = of a Commandment lost to time.](3D" "[Caption this mob of mee= rkats](3D")" ([image](3D"=)) - RedZoneTuba [gawked at the Fa= rk Squirrel.](3D") - Cache[: "And when the spotlight hit= them, only Ralph remembered his lines."](3D" "[Capt= ion this pleasant stroll on the beach](3D")" ([image](3D" - puffy= 999 [blames Lloyd for getting them lost.](3D"=) - Jesus M= cSordid[: "Ferchrissake Lloyd, you're 32. Enough with the tantrums!= "](3D".=) - RedZoneTuba [stepped on a sea urchin.](3D" = - skybird659 [just wants Opus to come home.](=3D" - LF1 [crowed the classic road-trip line you all know and love.=](3D"https://w=) - fatassbastard: ["...Like you've never made a wr= ong turn."](3D" "[Caption this outreach committee](3D"htt=)" (i= mage) - benelane [was approached by Jehovah's Apes= .](3D" - pgh9fan[: "... Can we talk about you going to = Hell?"](3D" [Farktography theme:](=3D" "[Wiiiiiii= ide Angle](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged to show us wide angle = photos, the wider the better. Stitched panoramas are fair game, too. -= EvaDewer[visited the Horsetooth Reservoir. Sadly ha= s nothing to do with teeth, but probably had horses once.](=3D" - MorningBreath[got to see an early sunset because of a conve= nient cloud.](3D=) - Herb Utsmelz[discovered the = Hoover Dam compound.](3D") - Elsinore[created a lo= ooooooong lake.](3D") Upcoming Fark Parties = It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectively saying that= "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out." [Submit one!](3D" = [Shakespeare in Delaware Park Ope= ning Night Reception. Buffalo, New York. June 20th, 5:30PM](3D") (Abou= t 2 weeks) [NYS Craft Brewer's Festival -= Canalside Buffalo, June 22, 2-6PM](3D") (About 2 weeks) We're still planning the OCT. 12TH, 25th Annive= rsary Fark Party (Lexington KY)! Thread TBA. Fark Headlines of the Week A s= election of some of the top headlines from last week. [Convicte= d Felon Twice-Impeached Former President Donald J. Trump](3D") [T= he jury isn't hung. Neither is Don Snorleone. The verdict is in](3D") [Truck carrying 40K pounds of strawberries overturns, creates jam](3D")= [Landslid= e in PNG compresses more than 2000 people](3D"=) [King Charles III= dissolves parliament, which is a pretty ballsy move since other King Charl= eses that tried this have a 50% beheading rate](3D") [Calling All Orcas](3D") [Rosebud= a>](3D")[Biden adm= inistration announces plan to significantly modernize America's electrical = grid. Step 1 presumably is to get rid of Texas](3D".=) [It is unknown who caught the dog = after she threw it](3D") Fa= rk Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy= ng>) Another fun time on the Quiz this week, where we learned that polit= icians here aren't always as good at cooking as politicians in other countr= ies. Two Farkers made it into the 1000 club, where we'll be serving a = Tomato Lemon Aspic as prepared by the late US Representative from South Car= olina Robert Ashmore. On the Quiz itself, runwiz came out = on top with 1014, followed by scrumpox in second with= 1006 and xrayspx in third with 962, WoolyMan= wich made fourth with 930, and Denjiro made = it into the top five with 908. The hardest question on last week's = Hard Quiz was about the town of Mukilteo, WA, and their elected local gover= nment who thought "Speedway" was not a good name for the main thoroughfare&= nbsp;in town and was encouraging people to drive unsafely. Where most = towns would hire a constable and set up a speed trap, Mukilteo's gover= nment decided changing the name and spending the money on new road signs wa= s the way to go. Only 23% of quiztakers knew the town council seriously und= erestimated the coolness factor of having "Speedway" on your address, not t= o mention business names like for the Mukilteo Speedway Cafe. The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Angel Hernandez, t= he guy that got more offers for free eye exams from optometrists who were s= ports fans than anyone else in the past four decades. 89% of quiztakers kne= w that he was hanging up his face mask after 31 years of blowing calls in M= ajor League Baseball. I believe much champagne was popped at this news, but= not anywhere he was invited. The hardest question on last we= ek's Easy Quiz was about which automaker thought the thing that EVs needed = to really appeal to Gen Z was a clutch. Only 43% of quiztakers recognized t= hat the Rapid Motor Vehicle Company (who probably encouraged towns to name = their streets "Speedway") eventually became General Motors (when stodgy cit= y council people decided on "boulevard" and "parkway" instead and wouldn't = allow any "rapid motor vehicles" in their town.) Chrysler was oddly enough = started by a guy named William Chrysler in 1925. The easiest = question on last week's Easy Quiz was about musician Doug Ingle, who passed= away the week before last. 94% of quiztakers knew that he was the singer a= nd songwriter of songs like "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" and, um... other songs per= formed by Iron Butterfly, like that... um... other song, and then that song= that went, ummmm...yeah. It was Iron Butterfly. If you missed out = last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a fe= w of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do i= t all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1717627371-23166-11687--