My Uncle, the '70s Porn Star

This nice Jewish boy from Westchester was a legend in the pre-Viagra, Boogie Nights–era porno business. [ view in [browser](. add esquire@newsletter.esquire.com to your address book ] [Esquire]( [Sunday Reads] FOLLOW US [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Pinterest]( [Instagram]( [You Tube]( [Google Plus]( [My Uncle, the '70s Porn Star]( The most important thing you need to know about my uncle, the porn star, is that he's not my actual uncle. He's my mother's cousin, which makes him my first cousin once removed. Johnny is now a seventy-four-year-old man partial to books-on-tape and cantaloupe, but between 1973 and 1987, he starred in 117 adult films. He was Man in Car, Man with Book, Man on Bus, Man in Hot Tub, Orgy Guy in Red Chair, Party Guy, Guy Wearing Glasses, Delivery Boy, and, perplexingly, Guy in Credits. He was the porn equivalent of Barbie, who can count astronaut, zookeeper, and aerobics instructor among her professional accomplishments. Except that Barbie, like Jesus before her and Prince after her, has no last name. Whereas Johnny's last name, his actual last name, is Seeman. This is a fact too absurd to warrant further analysis. I didn't snoop around about Johnny until college, but this was not for lack of interest. My college years happened to coincide with the late nineties, when the Internet was fast becoming a tool for personal research. Suddenly I had a vehicle for my curiosity. So I looked up Johnny to see what I could find. [READ MORE]( [MORE FROM ESQUIRE] [Esquire]( [The Sandlot Is One of the Best Baseball Movies Because It's Not About Winning]( The modern classic celebrates its 25th anniversary this week. [Read On]( [Esquire]( [The Version of Martin Luther King the White House Is Peddling Is a Crime Against History]( Sarah Huckabee Sanders didn't invent White Martin. Perhaps all of us did. [Read On]( [Esquire]( [How a Soggy Pair of Boots Changed My Whole Perspective on Life]( The power of the right pair of shoes. [Read On]( [Esquire]( [Let's Take It Outside—Right Now!]( Dustbin the laptop, 86 the phone, invite friends over. And follow this guide on how to be a master host. [Read On]( [Esquire]( [Here's What to Wear Every Time It Rains This Spring]( These three wet-weather outfits will save you. [Read On]( [Unsubscribe]( • [Privacy Policy]( [esquire.com]( ©2018 Hearst Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. Hearst Email Privacy, 300 W 57th St., Fl. 19 (sta 1-1), New York, NY 10019