Midweek pick-me-up: The Truelove — poet and philosopher David Whyte on reaching beyond our limiting beliefs about what we deserve

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If you already donate: I appreciate you more than you know. [FROM THE ARCHIVE | The Truelove: Poet and Philosopher David Whyte on Reaching Beyond Our Limiting Beliefs About the Love We Deserve]( Few things limit us more profoundly than our own beliefs about what we deserve, and few things liberate us more powerfully than daring to broaden our locus of possibility and self-permission for happiness. The stories we tell ourselves about what we are worthy or unworthy of — from the small luxuries of naps and watermelon to the grandest luxury of a passionate creative calling or a large and possible love — are the stories that shape our lives. Bruce Lee knew this when he admonished that [“you will never get any more out of life than you expect,”]( James {NAME} knew it when he admonished that [“you’ve got to tell the world how to treat you [because] if the world tells you how you are going to be treated, you are in trouble,”]( and Viktor Frankl embodied this in his impassioned insistence on [saying “yes” to life](. The more vulnerable-making the endeavor, the more reflexive the limitation and the more redemptive the liberation. That difficult, delicate, triumphal pivot from self-limitation to self-liberation in the most vulnerable-making of human undertakings — love — is what poet and philosopher [David Whyte]( who [thinks deeply about these questions of courage and love]( maps out in his stunning poem “The Truelove,” found in his book [The Sea in You: Twenty Poems of Requited and Unrequited Love]( ([public library]( and read here by David himself in his sonorous Irish-tinted English voice, in his singular style of echoing lines to let them reverberate more richly: THE TRUELOVE by David Whyte There is a faith in loving fiercely the one who is rightfully yours, especially if you have waited years and especially if part of you never believed you could deserve this loved and beckoning hand held out to you this way. I am thinking of faith now and the testaments of loneliness and what we feel we are worthy of in this world. Years ago in the Hebrides, I remember an old man who walked every morning on the grey stones to the shore of baying seals, who would press his hat to his chest in the blustering salt wind and say his prayer to the turbulent Jesus hidden in the water, and I think of the story of the storm and everyone waking and seeing the distant yet familiar figure far across the water calling to them and how we are all preparing for that abrupt waking, and that calling, and that moment we have to say yes, except it will not come so grandly so Biblically but more subtly and intimately in the face of the one you know you have to love so that when we finally step out of the boat toward them, we find everything holds us, and everything confirms our courage, and if you wanted to drown you could, but you don’t because finally after all this struggle and all these years you simply don’t want to any more you’ve simply had enough of drowning and you want to live and you want to love and you will walk across any territory and any darkness however fluid and however dangerous to take the one hand you know belongs in yours. “The Truelove” appears in the short, splendid course of poem-anchored contemplative practices David guides for neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris’s [Waking Up]( meditation toolkit, in which he reads each poem, offers an intimate tour of the landscape of experience from which it arose, and reflects on the broader existential quickenings it invites. Couple this generous gift of a poem with [“Sometimes”]( — David’s perspectival poem about living into the questions of our becoming, also part of Waking Up — then revisit the Nobel-winning Polish poet Wisława Szymborska on [great love]( and James {NAME} (who believed that poets are [“the only people who know the truth about us”]( on [love and the illusion of choice](. [Forward to a friend]( Online]( on Facebook]( donating=loving Every month, I spend hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars keeping The Marginalian going. For seventeen years, it has remained free and ad-free and alive thanks to patronage from readers. I have no staff, no interns, not even an assistant — a thoroughly one-woman labor of love that is also my life and my livelihood. If this labor makes your own life more livable in any way, please consider aiding its sustenance with a one-time or loyal donation. 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KINDRED READINGS: [Thich Nhat Hanh on True Love and the Five Rivers of Self-Knowledge]( * * * [The Osbick Bird: Edward Gorey’s Tender and Surprising Vintage Illustrated Allegory About the Meaning of True Love]( * * * [The Third Thing: Poet Donald Hall on the Secret to Lasting Love]( * * * [Hannah Arendt on Love and How to Live with the Fundamental Fear of Loss]( * * * THE UNIVERSE IN VERSE 2024: TOTALITY A charitable celebration of the wonder of reality through stories of science winged with poetry. [DETAILS + TICKETS]( [---]( You're receiving this email because you subscribed on TheMarginalian.org (formerly BrainPickings.org). This weekly newsletter comes out each Wednesday and offers a hand-picked piece worth revisiting from my 15-year archive. The Marginalian MAIL NOT DELIVERED 47 Bergen Street, 3rd FloorBrooklyn, NY 11201 [Add us to your address book]( [unsubscribe from this list](   [update subscription preferences](