Google ushers in a new era of internet hell

At least journalism had a good run? [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, the bleep bloop bleep bloop of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - Google is changing [how we search](. - Billie Eilish sells [eco-friendly merch](. - [CPI data]( helps the Fed’s research. - This [map of Europe]( provides a new perch. Loop Daddy “I don’t know what Google was thinking hiring me to open their keynote,” YouTube musician Marc Rebillet [wrote]( on his Instagram Story yesterday. And quite frankly, neither does anyone else. But I hope he got paid a lot of money for it! After arriving on stage in a human-sized coffee cup, he attempted — key word, attempt — to hype up a rather unenthused crowd of web developers and tech reporters at 9 a.m. “Get me the hell out of this cup,” he said, wearing a [rainbow robe]( that read “LOOP DADDY” on the back. He proceeded to parade around the stage as if he was an extra on the cast of The Wiggles, [yelling](, “YEAHHHHH! GOOGLE! GOOGLE! GOOGLE! GOOGLE! GOOGLE! GOOGLE!” and “BLEEP, BLOOP, BLEEP, BLOOP, TIME TO GET UP YOU SILLY LITTLE NERDS!” After that, he toyed around with Google’s [new MusicFX tool]( and gave away some robes to the audience. The whole thing lasted all of 20 minutes, but I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when they were negotiating his contract. I imagine it went a bit like this: Google Spokesperson: Marc! Big fan. Would you want to be our opening act for Google I/O? We’ll send you a flat fee over Google Pay and throw in a pair of our new [Google Glasses](. Marc Rebillet: Woah. Like, THE Google? I mean, sure. But what kinds of things can I say during the performance? Google Spokesperson: How about, Google? And AI! We LOVE [talking about that](. Marc Rebillet: Anything else? Google Spokesperson: Google.com, for sure. And we have a verb, too: Googling! Marc Rebillet: Go figure! What else can I say??? Google Spokesperson: Uh, let me get back to you on that. As startling as Marc’s show might have been, the substance of Google’s actual developers’ conference was even more of a shock. The tech company announced a major update to its search engine, one that Dave Lee [says]( — [if it works]( properly — “could significantly reduce the amount of traffic that websites receive.” With [AI Overviews](, you won’t need to click on a link to get the information you need. Just type in, “Why is the back of my fridge freezing my food?” and you’ll receive a paragraph explanation and a solution. “Of course, Google didn’t write that information — someone else did. Or, more likely, a number of people did; their expertise has been synthesized into one clear answer. The AI-powered panel does contain links to related content on the web, for sure, but there’s often little reason to click it,” he writes. Now, maybe you’re thinking: Who cares, as long as I get the answers I need? But the wider web economy will suffer as a result. “The big reason much of the web is a mess is because of Google,” Dave explains. “For years, websites have scrambled to please Google’s ranking algorithms, cramming articles with keywords, employing little tricks — some innocent, others not — to give content the best shot of rising to the top, because winning on Google means surviving.” But now that the search engine is cutting out the middleman, sites that rely on traffic — Wikipedia and news organizations, for instance — will buckle under the “zero click” effect. “The outlook is bleak,” Dave writes: “Gartner predicts a 25% drop in search engine traffic by 2026, an estimate that seems conservative. An SEO expert told the Washington Post that publishers are expecting to be ‘bludgeoned.’” Here’s hoping Marc Rebillet will keep me entertained when I’m unemployed! You can read [the whole thing]( here. (It’s no rainbow robe giveaway, but it is free.) An American in Paris Speaking of rainbows: Billie Eilish is selling eight different-colored vinyls of her third studio album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, which comes out on Friday. At first, this sounds excessive. But Lara Williams [says]( “Eilish is one of the few big pop stars who’s spoken out about the climate crisis — and taken action.” All of her records are [eco-friendly](, down to the ink used on the packaging. And it’s not just vinyls: Everything from her cassette shells to her merch is made from recycled materials — unlike the other big pop star we talk about, the one with [the private jet]( and the [polyester cardigans](. Although Taylor Swift isn’t, like, working on an oil rig for ExxonMobil, she has picked up the nasty habit of releasing a gazillion physical iterations of her music. Unlike Eilish’s forthcoming vinyl release (which all have the same track listings and were announced simultaneously), Swift releases many different variations of her albums, all with slightly different “bonus” tracks — something many superfans can’t resist, even if it breaks their bank (and the planet). Eilish has criticized this practice in the past, [telling]( Billboard Magazine, “Some of the biggest artists in the world making f**king 40 different vinyl packages that have a different unique thing just to get you to keep buying more.” Lara agrees: “In terms of making money and moving up the charts, vinyl variants are a stroke of genius. But they’re wasteful and promote overconsumption,” she writes. Tours play a role here, too: On Eilish’s 2022 [Happier Than Ever]( tour, venues reduced waste and single-use plastic. But Lara says “trash is only a tiny fraction of a live event’s carbon footprint. A few limited studies reach the same conclusion: [audience travel]( is one of the biggest single contributor to a concert’s emissions.” You can imagine, then, the carbon footprint left from the gaggles of [American tourists]( who visited Paris last week to see Taylor Swift: According to the AP, Americans [bought one in five]( tickets for her Paris shows. And Stockholm, the next stop on her tour, expects to see around 10,000 concertgoers from the US — a boon for tourism, but bad for the trees. Wanting to prevent such wasteful behavior, Eilish [attempted to cap prices]( to her show by only allowing tickets to be resold on at face value via Ticketmaster. It’s an [imperfect solution](, but hey, at least she’s trying! Bonus Climate Reading: Tree rings revealed that 2023 was officially [the hottest year]( in the last two millennia. — F.D. Flam Telltale Charts What are the odds that Taylor Swift’s release of The Tortured Poets Department put a [damper on inflation]( last month, before her European tour kicked off? I could see it: Instead of partaking in normal activities — going to a restaurant, grabbing a drink, seeing a movie — millions of women chose to stay at home and spend the entire weekend listening to breakup songs about Matty Healy. That level of [female rage]( could, in theory, help douse inflation pressures. Or perhaps it’s just a coincidence that the Bureau of Labor Statistics says its core consumer price index rose 0.3% in April from a month earlier, the slowest pace of the year. “While it’s only one month of data, it came at a loaded time for financial markets and policymakers,” [writes]( Jonathan Levin. Three straight months of higher-than-expected inflation at the start of the year caused some trepidation over at [the Federal Reserve](. But Jonathan says the new data “should put the inflation-doom genie back in the bottle for a while.” When I think of Europe, I picture food. Cheese, butter, pastries, lardo — basically all the foods that will eventually kill me. Which makes sense, since Lionel Laurent [says]( “Europe’s geography has for much of this century highlighted the soft power of an economic union — the cafes, canals and monuments pursued by tourists.” But “today’s de-globalizing world has [turned that]( connectedness into a weakness,” he writes. Now, other cities — places that are known for computer chips, not fish and chips — are able to wield a lot more influence. In an effort to visualize what this evolved landscape looks like, Lionel and Elaine He created a new map of Europe. Say goodbye to Paris, Berlin and Brussels, and hello to Kiruna, Veldhoven and Dresden! Further Reading If the FDIC is rife with [sexism and discrimination](, why didn’t Biden take action sooner? — Bloomberg’s editorial board Gavin Newsom’s [budget crisis]( could easily turn him into a liability for the Democratic Party. — Erika D. Smith Although the meme rally is already fizzling, [AMC took advantage]( of it. — Matt Levine The [dollar’s rampage]( is not a sign that the world is entering a new FX war. — Daniel Moss Singapore has [a kindness problem](. Can its new prime minister change the culture? — Karishma Vaswani Is Modi in trouble? [Traders in India]( are as clueless as everyone else. — Mihir Sharma South Africa’s economy is [deeply troubled](. It could get worse. — John Authers and Richard Abbey ICYMI Slovakia’s prime minister [fights for his life]( after an assassination attempt. [Presidential debates]( are [a go](. As are [debates]( about more debates. New York City Mayor Eric Adams says [immigrants should be lifeguards](. Mad Max: Furiosa got a seven-minute [standing ovation]( at Cannes. Kickers Welch’s [ready-to-drink cocktails](? We’ve peaked. Ultra-Orthodox wives went on [a sex strike](. Antony Blinken is an awful [guitar player](. Chris Pratt [does NOT]( like lasagna. Girls are going [“boy sober”]( this summer. I wonder why: Notes: Please send [lasagna]( and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. Want to sponsor this newsletter? [Get in touch here](. You received this message because you are subscribed to Bloomberg's Opinion Today newsletter. 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