What happens to Intel’s signature sound if Qualcomm takes over?

The company might be a mess — but that’s a clean jingle. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, an iconic anthem of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - Intel’s chips are [going stale](. - You [could buy]( a house [for sale](. - [Cheeseheads]( boost the earnings scale. - Oklahoma’s [Bible fail](. Intel’s Death Spiral There are plenty of questions to ask about Qualcomm’s rumored [takeover bid]( for Intel: Is it viable? Will there be regulatory hurdles? Does Apollo have a more attractive offer? Although those are perfectly reasonable inquiries, my only concern is this: Will they get to keep using the jingle??? If you were born before 2000, you know the one I’m talking about. It goes like this: Duhhh, duh dum duh dum. Intel’s five-note spiral (more commonly known as the “[bong]( is an [inescapable earmark]( of modernity (and a must-teach Marketing 101 lesson). The three-second audio signature was conceived in the garage of Austrian composer [Walter Werzowa]( in the mid 1990s. Legend [has it]( that the tune is played once every five minutes somewhere around the world: It’s times like these I wish newsletters could SING! Intel [wanted a sequence]( of “tones that evoked innovation, trouble-shooting skills and the inside of a computer, while also sounding corporate and inviting.” While the words “corporate” and “inviting” make for rather strange bedfellows, Walter achieved the impossible with his string of D, G and A flat synths.[2](#footnote-2)It’d be a real shame if the iconic anthem went *poof* under new ownership. “Intel is the legacy name in the chip industry. Qualcomm would make history gobbling it up,” Chris Hughes [writes](. Would it also bring back those epic [’90s commercials]( Who knows. And really, that’s the least of Chris’ worries: “Many obstacles remain to a successful transaction,” he notes. Like, say, whether a takeover would actually solve any of Intel’s operational and strategic problems, many of which stem from [the advent]( of artificial intelligence: Ever since large language models and image generators captured the zeitgeist, the godfather of the microprocessor has struggled to stay relevant. Intel’s core business — computer guts — isn’t sexy anymore. Ask any young person today what “PC” means, and there’s a 50-50 chance they’ll tell you “politically correct,” not “personal computer.” Chris says Intel shares are down more than 50% since the beginning of 2024, while Qualcomm’s stock is up nearly 20%. “Only in January, Qualcomm was worth a lot less than its target. Now it can contemplate a deal where it would be in the driver’s seat.” But other sharks — namely, Apollo, which proposed a $5 billion “equity-like” investment yesterday — are circling, too. “Buying Intel should require twin battles to win over the target and regulators, with the end result being a deal that looks risky strategically and financially,” Chris writes. Let’s just hope the jingle stays intact. Bonus Man vs. Machine Reading: Traders, don’t fall in love with your [AI tools](. — Paul J. Davies Friends With Benefits Now that the Fed is officially in its rate cut era, plenty of people are typing this question into Google: Should I buy a house now? While the answer varies depending on your financial and personal situation, the conditions for homebuying still feel suboptimal. During Covid Times, your friends were able to lock in historically low mortgage rates. And now you have to settle for what, 6.15% APR? It feels cruel! Things have to get better. And they will: Conor Sen [expects]( the fed funds rate to eventually fall to around 3%. But there’s a catch, he warns: “Those hoping for much lower should be careful what they wish for: A world of substantially lower mortgage rates is one of substantial job losses.” Rather than holding out hope for an economic miracle, Erin Lowry [says]( “millennials and Gen Z should start thinking creatively about what homeownership could look like.” One tactic? Buy a home with your best friend. “Untraditional as that sounds, it is a perfectly legitimate and in some cases prudent way to enter the housing market. Collaborating with trusted friends offers an option to buyers who don’t have the resources independently and can’t turn to family for financial support,” she writes. Honestly, it sounds kinda fun! (I say that as someone who lives with her sister in an 800 square-foot apartment.) Think about it: It’s like a built-in sleepover whenever you want. There’s always someone to watch crappy reality TV with. And as long as you and your friend agree on household responsibilities — I cook, she cleans — it’s a win-win. No wonder it’s increasingly popular: In 2023, [Zillow]( found that one in seven successful homebuyers purchased with a friend. There’s even a San Francisco [startup]( dedicated to the idea of co-owning: Hot Friend Compounds describes itself as “a one-stop shop for friend groups, hot or not, who are looking to buy homes together.” Not only is it a financially sound idea, there are psychological benefits to proximity with pals, too: A well-known [Harvard study]( found that living within a mile of your friend can increase your happiness by 25%. This isn’t to say there aren’t caveats: “Applying for a mortgage is akin to a financial colonoscopy,” Erin writes, so you’ll need to be comfortable with your future housemates knowing what’s in your wallet. Erin also encourages buyers to sign a written contract that irons out equity stakes, maintenance plans and scenarios that might alter the friend-roommate dynamic. After that, you can pop the champagne! Telltale Charts The funny thing about Joe Biden is that he’s actually the most MAGA president of them all. MAGA, as in, Make America Grate Again: “Wisconsin, in addition to being a perennial leader growing corn, cranberries, oats, potatoes and carrots among other crops, is No. 1 in the nation producing a quarter of America’s cheese,” Matthew A. Winkler [writes]( (free read). The crucial swing state — and self-described “Cheese Capital of the World” — has rebounded from Donald Trump’s empty economic promises in spectacular fashion, with Sargento Foods [recently updating]( not one, but two of its plants. “As the Democratic Party’s standard bearer, Harris, like Biden, wants to protect Americans from Trump, whose tariffs on foreign-made goods would hurt Wisconsin,” he writes. Meanwhile in Oklahoma, you’ve got a new law mandating [Bible instruction]( in public schools. But assigning novenas during pre-calc isn’t a legally viable idea, nor is it gonna go over well with actual Bible thumpers: “Almost no one is likely to want someone from another denomination teaching the Bible to their kids,” [writes]( Noah Feldman. Plus, the law “violates the US Constitution and courts should strike it down,” he writes. “The framers understood that different religious denominations, even when they were nearly all Protestant, couldn’t agree on a single version of religion to be established nationally.” I can practically feel the Welsh Baptists and German Lutherans rolling in their graves! Further Reading Free read: This year’s [Climate Week]( begins with unusual momentum. — Michael R. Bloomberg These two mothers would [be alive today]( if not for the reversal of Roe v. Wade. — Lisa Jarvis How Sonos [botched an app]( rollout and infuriated its loyal customers. — Dave Lee “Buy American” sounds like [a great idea]( but it’s not. — Tyler Cowen US [public debt comparisons]( with Japan don’t pass the laugh test. — Clive Crook I want to pay [higher gas taxes]( — and you should too. — Javier Blas Trump and Harris have [no plans]( for a world on fire. — Hal Brands ICYMI Ta-Nehisi Coates [tackles Israel](. Senator Mike McDonnell [opposes Trump](. Janet Jackson spreads [misinformation]( Chappell Roan [faces backlash](. Lin-Manuel Miranda [returns to Broadway](. Sally Rooney [writes a weeper](. Kickers Recess is [moving indoors](. Major League Baseball’s [accessory crisis](. [Chicken nuggets]( divide America. Taco Bell has a [new hot sauce](. Notes: Please send dino-shaped nuggets, disha hot sauce and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads]( [TikTok]( [Twitter]( [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. [1] Too bad Walter was only paid a flat fee for the project – ahh, to be a creator — he’d be a bajillionaire by now if he secured the copyright. [2] Fun fact: [Will.I.Am]( — who randomly [became]( Intel's Director of Creative Innovation in 2011 — used the sound in his song [“Geekin'."]( Follow Us Stay updated by saving our new email address Our email address is changing, which means you’ll be receiving this newsletter from noreply@news.bloomberg.com. Here’s how to update your contacts to ensure you continue receiving it: - Gmail: Open an email from Bloomberg, click the three dots in the top right corner, select “Mark as important.” - Outlook: Right-click on Bloomberg’s email address and select “Add to Outlook Contacts.” - Apple Mail: Open the email, click on Bloomberg’s email address, and select “Add to Contacts” or “Add to VIPs.” - Yahoo Mail: Open an email from Bloomberg, hover over the email address, click “Add to Contacts.” Like getting this newsletter? 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