The eight-year-old who drove to Target for a Frappuccino is all of us. [Bloomberg](
This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, the so-called âassociatedâ gas of Bloomberg Opinionâs opinions. [Sign up here](. Todayâs Agenda - Time to raise [minimum wage](.
- Letâs rethink the [growth gauge](.
- Coal powerâs still [all the rage](.
- Trump has set the [despotâs stage](. A Little Treat For an Unbothered Queen I am equal parts amazed and horrified by the eight-year-old girl in Ohio who took took her familyâs Nissan Rogue on a [25-minute joyride]( to Target over the weekend. Reports say the police [found the child]( sipping a Frappuccino â no details on what flavor, sadly â and [employees claim]( she went on a $400 shopping spree. Somehow, only [a mailbox]( was harmed during her outing and she was safely returned to her parents. Source: FOX8 WJW A lot of people on the internet found the whole saga to be pretty relatable: We will stop at nothing to secure an overpriced iced beverage! [Little treat culture]( â derived from the â[as a treat]( meme â is a pretty common coping mechanism for Gen Zers who are fed up with adulting. You didnât cry at work? You deserve an ice cream. You made your bed today? You deserve that latte. You went grocery shopping instead of ordering Uber Eats? You deserve the bath bomb. Itâs a way of celebrating little victories even if you canât really afford it. Although economic data says shoppers have [money to spend]( on small luxuries â [croissant lamp]( anyone? â some consumers claim they are still feeling the pinch: âOnce a month manicures or salon visits are turning into once every few months,â [a tweet]( with over 43,000 likes from Sunday reads. So which is it? Are we fine, economically speaking, or are we sinking? The answer is that there is no âweâ when talking about the economy. [A major gulf]( exists between the haves and have-nots in this country. Your idea of a âlittle treatâ might be someone elseâs entire paycheck. Seriously: The federal minimum wage has been stuck at $7.25 an hour for 15 years. âTo keep a family of four out of poverty based on official thresholds, it would need to be just under $15,â Kathryn Anne Edwards [writes](. âTo provide a living wage, or one to afford basic necessities such as housing, transportation, health care, food and utilities, it would have to be much higher.â Kathryn suggests that Congress should index the minimum wage so that it can automatically increase over time. âThe default assumption would be to index the wage to inflation so that it grows with prices,â Kathryn writes. But that figure will eventually erode. Instead, she says lawmakers should use Social Security as a model, which uses a wage index to determine a recipientâs benefit and tax cap. But raising the minimum wage alone wonât solve our income inequality problem. Allison Schrager says we need to [rethink our entire approach]( to the issue in order to âcreate the conditions for widespread growth.â She writes: âAny policy intended to lessen inequality should also facilitate innovation and the development of human [. The goal is to [grow the pie]( rather than just divide it more equally.â And you know who could probably come up with that policy? The eight-year-old girl. Sheâs already mastered the art of driving! I bet sheâll be able to write a comprehensive growth agenda for the presidentâs Council of Economic Advisers by age 10 at the very latest. As long as they pay her handsomely in Frappuccinos. Bonus Economy Reading: Mortgage rates have [fallen rapidly]( but would-be home buyers don't seem to care. â Conor Sen Drill, Baby, Drill? JD Vance is an enigma insofar that you never know whatâs gonna come out of his mouth. It could be [a couch joke](. Or an incendiary comment about [chicken curry](. Or a [fabricated tale]( about dog meat. Just this morning, Washington Postâs Alexandra Petri [quipped]( that every time Vance tells a story, âa sinkhole swallows 30 people.â It all might be funny if he were [a Las Vegas comedian](. But Vanceâs first name is not [Deborah](. Heâs running to be second-in-command of a country of 333 million humans! So when [he says]( the Trump administrationâs Day 1 regulatory agenda is âdrill, baby, drillâ on CNBCâs Squawk Box, people are gonna believe him: Vance continued: âYou talk to folks who work in natural gas and they tell you, âwe could be producing two, three times as much natural gas in this country.â Itâs been a total disaster under the Biden-Harris administration.â Now, thereâs no mention of childless cat ladies or curry here. He sounds like he knows what heâs talking about! But he doesnât: Javier Blas [says shale companies]( âtypically pump some natural gas alongside the oil. The production of that so-called âassociatedâ gas has more than tripled since 2018, overwhelming local demand and pipeline capacity.â Natural gas prices in the Permian have plunged as a result, so much so that producers need to pay other people to dispose of it. If we made any more of the stuff right now â à la âdrill, baby, drill!â â this price hole would deepen even further: As for the âtotal disasterâ jab at the Biden administrationâs energy policy, [this chart]( from Bloomberg News pretty much says it all: Down the road, Vanceâs wish to produce more natural gas may very well be granted, but it wonât have much to do with Trump. Javier says a new 580-mile tube running across Texas called the Matterhorn Express Pipeline will help carry the excess gas to demand centers and give shale companies a boost. âIn turn, they would bring online some of the new wells theyâd delayed and end the curtailment of existing wells. That will drive up oil production during the fourth quarter of 2024 and the first quarter of 2025,â he notes. Elsewhere in [new energy projects]( Liam Denning says âtwo companies youâve probably never heard of have signed a deal that captures a seismic shift on Americaâs biggest power grid.â Energy Capital Partners â ECP for short â is buying Blackstone and Arclight Capitalâs power plant baby, Lightstone Holdco, which owns four outposts in Ohio and Indiana, three gas-fired and one coal-fired. Yup, you read that right: Big energy acquisitions in the Green Year of Our Lord 2024 still somehow involve coal. Canât say Iâm surprised: âRather than retiring and being replaced with a mix of wind, solar and gas-fired capacity,â Liam says coal plants will stay open to support the rise of artificial intelligence. âThis is not a comfortable narrative for Big Tech, which is a big reason why Amazon locked in that nuclear contract. But there are few spare reactors and if it comes to a choice between being first in AI or first in net zero, I suspect the robots win,â Liam writes. On the bright side, F.D. Flam says increased AI capacity [will help us debunk]( Vanceâs conspiracy theories more easily! Telltale Chart Apparently Harrison Butker played [a really good football game]( over the weekend but not everyone was around to witness it: âsrry i couldnât watch the game, i was cleaning the house,â one woman commented on a [Chiefâs Instagram post](. âI missed it, I was doing dishes ð¢,â another said. âI was too busy vacuuming and making my husband a sandwich to watch, ugh!!!,â a third read. The list [goes on](. In case you forgot, Butker became the poster boy for Christian nationalism after his [commencement speech]( at Benedictine College earlier this year. And Francis Wilkinson [says]( plenty of Republicans are still eager to confine men and women to traditional roles, as evidenced by [this new survey]( from PRRI. âIf Christian supremacy fails, there is always Armageddon,â he writes. Two out of three Republicans agree that âthe final battle between good and evil is upon us, and Christians should stand firm with the full armor of God.â Shocking news to me! Telltale Video Tomorrow is Fed Day, which means our [time at the roulette wheel]( will finally be over. Bill Dudley, the former president of the New York Fed, will join Bloomberg Opinionâs Jonathan Levin and Allison Schrager to discuss the decision in real-time. Join them Wednesday at 1:55 p.m. New York time on [YouTube]( or [X](. Further Reading The Hezbollah [pager explosion]( looks like a decapitation strike. â Marc Champion Incendiary speech is [radicalizing]( too many people to political violence. â Barbara L. McQuade Bankingâs [new era of capital]( puts watchdogs on the spot. â Paul J. Davies Chinaâs best [economic growth target]( might actually be none at all. â Daniel Moss Social media [age limits]( ignore individual differences in adolescentsâ maturity levels. â Catherine Thorbecke The UK stock market is shrinking. Lower taxes are [no substitute]( for a healthy economy. â Merryn Somerset Webb ICYMI Parmy Olson made [the FTâs book of the year]( shortlist. Trump unveiled his [new crypto venture](. Green text bubbles are getting [an upgrade](. Central Europe is [one big flood](. Cut-up corpses are a [grotesque business](. Kickers A [supermoon-lunar eclipse]( double-header. Taco Bell moved [National Taco Day](. The Sims [is heading]( to Hollywood. Nobody should own [this much baby oil](. Snoring isnât just a nuisance, [itâs dangerous](. Notes: Please send crunchwraps and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. 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