The direct mail piece I wrote that we all hate

One of the companies I co-own (Low Stress Trading) is going to do a direct mail test soon with postcards. The plan is to test 5 lists selected by the great direct mail strategist Craig Simpson who is overseeing it, masterminding it, making it all happen. My job? Was to write the dayem postcards. Which is as ironic as it is annoying, as I specifically said I did not want to do any copywriting when investing in the company in the first place. (I just wanted to cash checks…) Anyway, here is the point: When writing them to test against each other I decided to write a ‘safe’ test that I think will win, that checks all the boxes I wanted to check, along with a totally off-the-wall version that deliberately breaks lots of rules, deliberately has a low chance of success, that nobody (especially me) “likes” — but that I wanted to test anyway just to see what happens. Since I am funding this entire campaign out of my own pocket — and not a client’s — I am going to do it how I want to do it, my way, whether anyone likes it or not agrees with it or not, without putting anyone else’s money at risk. i.e., just the way I prefer it. It’s one of many reasons I don’t client work. That, and the fact, most I have worked with (not all, thankfully) are wimps, care more about the opinions of gurus than common sense, and are scared to death to swing for the fences with anything — running dull, uninspired, boring marketing campaigns even as they pretend they are doing the opposite because they went to a mastermind or whatever that one time. But enough about clients. Back to my little direct mail test: I wanted the low chance version to be a very specific format, tone, and design. As Craig noted and he was right, “it’s cold.” Yes, indeed it is. I'd even say very cold, although not boring to the kind of jaded, super skeptical, been fooked-over-by-everyone-lying-to-them customer Troy and I want and who he excels at selling to. And so, I want to test something totally different than anything else in the mailbox. Not because I think it will win, but because I have a morbid curiosity to see what happens. And while it ain’t got any warmth, what it DOES have is credibility. The entire postcard — almost 1,000 words, crammed in, barely even a sliver of white space, with small font, and probably a little hard to read — is not built around curiosity like most postcards driving people to a URL should be, going by the popular sentiment. No, it’s built around credibility. It is cold, ruthless, and almost non-human in some ways, but credible. It may not light anyone fire. But by the ghost of Gene Schwartz I want it to be believed. The other version, incidentally, does both (curiosity and credibility). i.e., it’s the safe test that will almost certainly win. But this off-the-wall cold as a fish dumb test? Is based solely on credibility. And I based it on a way I use a lot of times to write my deck copy (the copy under the sales letter’s main headline) that I have found can take away some of a totally blatant sales pitch’s “bite,” and help give it an air of gravitas and objectivity, even if just subconsciously. It is something I’ve seen a few other copywriters do quite successfully, and I have found it can work quite well when done correctly. More: I also used this in the beginning of the sales letter I analyze page-by-page, bullet-by-bullet, and precept-upon-precept in the September Email Players issue. I like to do an issue like this (analyzing one of my more successful ads) in detail once or twice per year. And going by the questions I get, the state of copywriting today (most of it is just awful, zero grasp of the fundamentals, one virtual cuck ghost on my list recently told me nobody cares about the PS of a sales letter -- which was amusing, considering it's often the most read part of an ad in some cases), and the importance copy has, especially now that everyone’s weak social media-created “personal brands” are crumbling along with their engagement due to people are scrutinizing what and who they buy from more… the timing is ripe once again. So that’s the September issue. The deadline to get in on in time is when I send the list in to the printer tonight. After that? Too late, Pokey. You can read more about what’s inside this issue in the P.S. below. To subscribe go here: []( Ben Settle P.S. Here are some of the secrets inside the September issue: * A bit of a strange copywriting writing trick I learned from an attorney that can help (1) make your sales copy more legally compliant and (2) increase your sales at the same time. * A bizarre secret (found all throughout the Bible) that can help automatically give your ad copy more credibility, more drama, more intrigue, and, yes, more sales. (And no, it does not matter if you’re writing to anyone religious or even "turning on the rotisserie" atheists — does not matter, this tweak of human psychology works across the board.) * What the great retired A-list copywriter Doug D’Anna told me on a Twitter Spaces call about what would have made his world class copy even better, stronger, more responsive had he focused on it more early on in his career. * The sleepy-looking “S-word” you can add almost anywhere to your sales copy to snatch more attention, nab more engagement, and grab more response. * An ingenious way of writing bullets in a way that feels like you are teaching something but, in reality, you are only making the reader hungry to buy what you’re selling. * A Hollywood screenwriter secret that can not only make your ads more persuasive, but can also make the experience of buying as fun and enjoyable as child opening Christmas presents. (Not even exaggerating either — this is the exact same psychology that makes it so a child can’t sleep at night before Christmas but applied to your advertising. Powerful stuff. And most copywriters never think about it.) * A writing secret used by Stan Lee (when naming the fictional country of Wakanda that sounds so real many people literally have admitted to looking for it on a map) that can add lots of drama to your sales copy. (The secret is also “baked” into the mega selling book title “The South Beach Diet”, if that tells you something.) * A neat little twist you can put on your ad copy bullets that can help make them automatically (the brain almost can’t help itself but focus on what you’re selling when doing this) get more attention, more engagement, and more sales. * One of the best places to learn how to write powerful headlines that practically nobody look at anymore. * A “quickie” guide (you can see on display in one of the late Gene Schwartz’s most infamous ads) to writing persuasive pre-headlines for your ads and sales letters. * A trick I learned from the late, great copywriter Robert Collier for writing longer (even entire paragraph-sized) bullets without losing peoples’ attention. * Why it can be a big, fat, even business-fatal mistake to write to, pander to, and sell to “hyper buyers.” (I doubt 1 in 1000 copywriters will agree with this controversial — but absolutely proven in my 22+ years in the game — take on copywriting. I even had to explain this to one of the world’s top direct mail guys recently, but he understood after I showed him my side of the story. Yes, hyper buyers are easy to sell to, and yes you can get a lot of buyers, and yes that is who probably 99% of copywriting books, courses, teachers tell you to focus on selling to… but if you are the business man who has to deal with the fallout of catering to them, I suggest reading this very closely and carefully. Most copywriters take a mercenary approach and only care about “response” — which is a big mistake, imo. Anyway, more about this inside.) * A clever way to write deck copy (the copy under the main headline) that takes away some the “bite” people feel when reading a sales pitch — potentially making it more likely to be read, consumed, bought from. * One of the top 10 copywriting courses I posses that isn’t even about copywriting. (Admittedly I do not know where you can get this today, except maybe on eBay.) * How to choose the perfect photo for your sales letters. * How to structure your ad copy opening sentences in a way that has “built in” believability and credibility. (Probably even if you say something totally crazy.) * 3 magic transition sentences (based on what the late, great A-list copywriter Jim Rutz did in his ad copy) that can help make your sales letters, emails, and other marketing compulsively readable. * A delightfully sneaky way to get rid of “sticker shock” when selling high ticket offers. * A shrewd (but gutsy, almost nobody will even test it, they’re too scared) way of writing sales copy that can help open the reader’s mind, automatically lowers his sales defenses, and sometimes completely removes price resistance. * Why so much sales copy written by zoomers (that has nothing to do with the quality of their actual writing) gets ignored or even mocked by prospects they are attempting to sell to. * How to “recruit” celebrities to help write your ads without paying them anything. * An unusually persuasive way (that, I think, was invented by Gary Halbert) for writing bullets that add a thick persuasive layer of interest, intrigue, and engagement to nab sales you probably would not get otherwise. * How to shamelessly (but legally and ethically, no stealing or plagiarizing required) use the work of experts (even famous experts) about whatever you are writing about to help better sell your offers. * What to say when you get to the last third of a long sales letter to help keep readership higher, more engaged, maybe more likely to buy. * A surprisingly effective way to use yellow highlighting in sales copy to nab way more readership and sales than you probably would otherwise. * 3 tried-and-true sentences (you can swipe “as is” if you want, I don’t care, and don’t even know who first invented them) to segue into your close — whether in long sales copy, emails, or any other kind of advertising. * And a ho' bunch more. In fact, I am also including a special 8-page bonus report called: “The ‘Get off my lawn!’ Zoomer-Friendly Direct Marketing Cheat Sheet” I don’t, as a rule, cater to Zoomers, pander to Zoomers, or have much to offer Zoomers. Not even necessarily through any fault of their own, either. Usually when they come at me I’m like the old fart in the lawn chair telling them get the hell off my property. But a couple months ago a guy asked if he could interview me by email. His questions were coming from what sounded like a Zoomer perspective. I cannot say he is a Zoomer for sure, though, as I have never seen him. The questions just come off as Zoomer-ish. Good questions though. And he came at me with respect, and not with any idiotic entitlement like a lot of the youts do. Anyway, I thought my answers might be useful for all generations of Email Players subscribers. Especially since they are quick, raw, and curt. Just like my temper when I see Zoomers on my lawn… All right, that’s what awaits you in the September issue. To subscribe in time for tonight’s deadline go here: []( This email was sent by Ben Settle as owner of Settle, LLC. Copyright © 2024 Settle, LLC. All Rights Reserved. No part of this email may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from Settle, LLC. Click here to [unsubscribe]( Settle, LLC PO Box 1056 Gold Beach Oregon 97444 USA